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ALL work is transactional. I solve your problems, you pay me money. I have family and friends for "social interaction" and "meaning". I do not seek that from a

ALL work is transactional. I solve your problems, you pay me money. I have family and friends for "social interaction" and "meaning". I do not seek that from a job, nor do I want a job that claims to provide it. Any recruiter that tells me "our company is like a family" gets a reply that says "so i can cry on your shoulder in case of a bad breakup, and you'll help me move furniture?" and then gets blocked.

extr 2y ago
This is such a simplistic take. There is a huge gulf between "We are a family" saccharine corporate BS and "I am a cog in the machine. I am forced to make conversation. Hello Coworker How Do You Do" robo-employee mnemonic. Personally I prefer to work with people who have a sense of humor, self-awareness about the importance (or lack of) of our work, have some interesting things to talk about it, can be surprising, etc. They don't have to be my best friend ever but I don't want to be bored.
- semitones 2y ago
  100%
- gwbas1c 2y ago
  The "we're like family" phrase can mean many different things in the work environment, so don't read too deeply into it. That being said, it's often a sign of poor management; managers will use "we're like family" instead of addressing problems that they need to address. It can create a very stressful situation if you're a high performer, because the expectations and handholding quickly get unreasonable. (The song "Surface Pressure" from Encanto explains the situation exactly.) For example, I once worked with a manager who used the "we're like family" excuse when incoming tickets were incomprehensible and missing critical information. He was just copping out of his job, which was to set processes and make sure new employees knew the processes. Instead, his expectation was that I would handhold the organization through the ticketing system.
- deleted 2y ago
  [deleted]
dartos 2y ago
I think you can read between the lines of the OC. They obviously meant social interactions in remote environments are inherently transactional. You never make a zoom call just to say hi to your coworker when your mouse moves past the icon, but you might say hi if you walk past their desk.
- dmitrygr 2y ago
  > but you might say hi if you walk past their desk No. I would never interrupt someone's flow for a "hi". What an insane take. Those like you, interrupting us for a "hi" and throwing us off a good thought process when you "walk by", is one of the main things which make us all want to work remotely, far from you, protected by a need to have a purpose for your "hi".
  - dartos 2y ago
    You sound like a joy to have as a coworker… Again… read between the lines. Think a little bit into what i said. Think about it a little critically There are important ad hoc interactions that you have in an office that you don’t when you’re remote. I personally prefer remote, but recognize that it’s easier to collaborate in real time in person.
    - dmitrygr 2y ago
      > I [...] recognize that it’s easier to collaborate in real time in person. Not everyone is you and not everyone agrees with that evidence-free claim
      - dartos 2y ago
        It’s both well known and self evident that communication is richer in person for the vast majority of people. Not really something worth arguing about. Water is also wet, but I don’t have a specific source to link for that.
  - em-bee 2y ago
    there is a middle ground. if i walk past you and you make eye contact, i say hi. if you are focused on your screen ignoring me, then i remain silent
em-bee 2y ago
there is nobody in my family on whose shoulder i can cry except my wife. the friends that i have where i can do that i all met through work. and yes, coworkers have helped me move too. "we are a family" is still a warning sign though. it could mean that the team is a tight knit group that a newcomer will have difficulty to break into, especially an introvert. or it could mean certain expectations towards each other that i would not understand or be comfortable with because i have not experienced any family like that so instead of rejecting the idea i would ask some questions to find out what they mean by that.
OfficeChad 2y ago
[dead]
takemetoearth 2y ago
You're being downvoted because you aren't being a team player. Now please sign this PIP from your "family".

extr 2y ago

This is such a simplistic take. There is a huge gulf between "We are a family" saccharine corporate BS and "I am a cog in the machine. I am forced to make conversation. Hello Coworker How Do You Do" robo-employee mnemonic. Personally I prefer to work with people who have a sense of humor, self-awareness about the importance (or lack of) of our work, have some interesting things to talk about it, can be surprising, etc. They don't have to be my best friend ever but I don't want to be bored.

semitones 2y ago
100%
gwbas1c 2y ago
The "we're like family" phrase can mean many different things in the work environment, so don't read too deeply into it. That being said, it's often a sign of poor management; managers will use "we're like family" instead of addressing problems that they need to address. It can create a very stressful situation if you're a high performer, because the expectations and handholding quickly get unreasonable. (The song "Surface Pressure" from Encanto explains the situation exactly.) For example, I once worked with a manager who used the "we're like family" excuse when incoming tickets were incomprehensible and missing critical information. He was just copping out of his job, which was to set processes and make sure new employees knew the processes. Instead, his expectation was that I would handhold the organization through the ticketing system.
deleted 2y ago
[deleted]

dartos 2y ago

I think you can read between the lines of the OC. They obviously meant social interactions in remote environments are inherently transactional. You never make a zoom call just to say hi to your coworker when your mouse moves past the icon, but you might say hi if you walk past their desk.

dmitrygr 2y ago
> but you might say hi if you walk past their desk No. I would never interrupt someone's flow for a "hi". What an insane take. Those like you, interrupting us for a "hi" and throwing us off a good thought process when you "walk by", is one of the main things which make us all want to work remotely, far from you, protected by a need to have a purpose for your "hi".
- dartos 2y ago
  You sound like a joy to have as a coworker… Again… read between the lines. Think a little bit into what i said. Think about it a little critically There are important ad hoc interactions that you have in an office that you don’t when you’re remote. I personally prefer remote, but recognize that it’s easier to collaborate in real time in person.
  - dmitrygr 2y ago
    > I [...] recognize that it’s easier to collaborate in real time in person. Not everyone is you and not everyone agrees with that evidence-free claim
    - dartos 2y ago
      It’s both well known and self evident that communication is richer in person for the vast majority of people. Not really something worth arguing about. Water is also wet, but I don’t have a specific source to link for that.
- em-bee 2y ago
  there is a middle ground. if i walk past you and you make eye contact, i say hi. if you are focused on your screen ignoring me, then i remain silent

em-bee 2y ago

there is nobody in my family on whose shoulder i can cry except my wife. the friends that i have where i can do that i all met through work. and yes, coworkers have helped me move too. "we are a family" is still a warning sign though. it could mean that the team is a tight knit group that a newcomer will have difficulty to break into, especially an introvert. or it could mean certain expectations towards each other that i would not understand or be comfortable with because i have not experienced any family like that so instead of rejecting the idea i would ask some questions to find out what they mean by that.

OfficeChad 2y ago

[dead]

takemetoearth 2y ago

You're being downvoted because you aren't being a team player. Now please sign this PIP from your "family".