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My developer friend in Japan who always wanted a family never received much dates and when he did not one commited. So he married a woman from India and now th

My developer friend in Japan who always wanted a family never received much dates and when he did not one commited. So he married a woman from India and now they've 4 kids. It wasn't about money, no one was willing to make this sacrifice for him.

shiroiushi 2y ago
>My developer friend in Japan who always wanted a family never received much dates and when he did not one commited. I had absolutely no trouble getting dates here when I moved here. There must have been something about your friend that just isn't attractive to Japanese women. Is he religious, overweight, or have a beard? You can't expect a person to be equally attractive to any arbitrary group; different cultures have different standards.
- shiroiushi 2y ago
  Edit: if he put right in his dating app bios "I'm looking for a woman who wants 4 kids!" I can see why he didn't get many responses from Japanese women.
  - carlmr 2y ago
    I mean that's a lot of pressure for anybody if it's already a set number. I'd say it's better to advertise that you're open to having kids, or at most that you want to have kids. Even if you want many kids, your potential partner might want kids, too, but feel pressured to have them right away if you say 4.
  - faangguyindia 2y ago
    He only wanted 1 kid but his wife convinced him to have 4. No one wanted kids, he's slight above average looking japanese man with good personality but whenever he tried to get commitment, he got dumped even if relationship was several years long. He told me it's because they don't want to take risk.
    - shiroiushi 2y ago
      >whenever he tried to get commitment, he got dumped even if relationship was several years long. Interesting story, but talking about commitment and having kids is something you need to do before you're even seriously dating someone; it's not something you wait several years to bring up. What you're looking for in a relationship and what you want out of one in the future is one of the most basic compatibility factors in a relationship, so it should be discussed after a few dates or so. I kinda feel like something's missing from this story.
      - faangguyindia 2y ago
        Other than this, this is not how dating works. Most people only ask "if you are open to having kids in future" Followed by rough estimate of timeline which may or may not materialize with the same person. A lot of people don't really know much about themselves, change their mind later, or give the compatible answers because they don't wanna lose the anticipated benefits of being with this person.
ulfw 2y ago
[flagged]
- SnorkelTan 2y ago
  I don’t think any native English speaker would use this word choice. Probably not a native English speaker… user name implies Indian.
- JambalayaJimbo 2y ago
  What’s the problem with the phrasing? Having kids is a sacrifice, and especially for the woman who has to go through labour.
yoyohello13 2y ago
This comment is a perfect example of my point…
- faangguyindia 2y ago
  Explain?

shiroiushi 2y ago

>My developer friend in Japan who always wanted a family never received much dates and when he did not one commited. I had absolutely no trouble getting dates here when I moved here. There must have been something about your friend that just isn't attractive to Japanese women. Is he religious, overweight, or have a beard? You can't expect a person to be equally attractive to any arbitrary group; different cultures have different standards.

shiroiushi 2y ago
Edit: if he put right in his dating app bios "I'm looking for a woman who wants 4 kids!" I can see why he didn't get many responses from Japanese women.
- carlmr 2y ago
  I mean that's a lot of pressure for anybody if it's already a set number. I'd say it's better to advertise that you're open to having kids, or at most that you want to have kids. Even if you want many kids, your potential partner might want kids, too, but feel pressured to have them right away if you say 4.
- faangguyindia 2y ago
  He only wanted 1 kid but his wife convinced him to have 4. No one wanted kids, he's slight above average looking japanese man with good personality but whenever he tried to get commitment, he got dumped even if relationship was several years long. He told me it's because they don't want to take risk.
  - shiroiushi 2y ago
    >whenever he tried to get commitment, he got dumped even if relationship was several years long. Interesting story, but talking about commitment and having kids is something you need to do before you're even seriously dating someone; it's not something you wait several years to bring up. What you're looking for in a relationship and what you want out of one in the future is one of the most basic compatibility factors in a relationship, so it should be discussed after a few dates or so. I kinda feel like something's missing from this story.
    - faangguyindia 2y ago
      Other than this, this is not how dating works. Most people only ask "if you are open to having kids in future" Followed by rough estimate of timeline which may or may not materialize with the same person. A lot of people don't really know much about themselves, change their mind later, or give the compatible answers because they don't wanna lose the anticipated benefits of being with this person.

ulfw 2y ago

[flagged]

SnorkelTan 2y ago
I don’t think any native English speaker would use this word choice. Probably not a native English speaker… user name implies Indian.
JambalayaJimbo 2y ago
What’s the problem with the phrasing? Having kids is a sacrifice, and especially for the woman who has to go through labour.

yoyohello13 2y ago

This comment is a perfect example of my point…

faangguyindia 2y ago
Explain?