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> Some things are best kept between your close trusted friends and family or therapist, no matter how trendy the culture is about being “open”. This makes tot

> Some things are best kept between your close trusted friends and family or therapist, no matter how trendy the culture is about being “open”. This makes total sense if you have a therapist and / or have friends you can be vulnerable with (and know how to). But there are undoubtedly those who do not have that. For them the risk of career sabotage vs a change of improved quality of life might be worth considering. I don't know where the breakdown is, probably against mandatory sharing in the work setting on the account of an average workspace being pretty adversarial. However, if I could make a call for my younger self I would choose to share.

Imustaskforhelp 2y ago
I also agree with this sentiment but at the same time I think it boils down to how you interpret these things , for op it was one of the greatest things but to somebody else , this makes boss not likeable. I think this shows that the boss was going out of his way which I "personally" appreciate. I don't know what people expect managers / boss to do. Somebody on team expects their boss to X and somebody else on that same team expects their boss to be anything but X. If I ever become a manager , I am probably taking this boss's approach , I think its good to have some talks like this. I am also much inspired by the likes of charles schwab and dale carnegie's how to win friends and influence people so probably there is a bias here
- thunky 2y ago
  > I don't know what people expect managers / boss to do What they do should be related to the company work, otherwise they're overstepping. They're not social workers. They have to respect the privacy and independence of their coworkers. > If I ever become a manager , I am probably taking this boss's approach Please don't. Coworkers can obviously have social relationships but they should grow organically without being "managed". You know the best way for that to happen is? Let them work together. They'll build their own relationships. They don't need your help. If they don't work together enough for this to happen naturally then they're strangers to each other anyway and that's ok too.
- dymk 2y ago
  If you were my boss and did this I'd be going to my skip manager to complain.
  - captnObvious 2y ago
    It sounded like an optional request not a command. I’ve managed and I’ve been managed and the relationship ships I’ve built along the way are deep enough to have conversations like these. We’re doing life with this people it’s not a dystopian novel about capitalism. If you have a genuine person as your boss moments like these help form friendships, and don’t feel like a dark Dilbert comic. Friendships increase team communicability which bolster project success.
    - dymk 2y ago
      A manager asking you to do something is never “just” an optional request
      - hhh 2y ago
        They absolutely can be. You can push back against your manager.
        twelve40 2y ago
        Still, you'd rather save your push back privileges - which come with a cost - for something actually important and work-related. Not for random crap like that, being put on the spot randomly in a personal way.
        ipaddr 2y ago
        Use it and get more pushback power plus get caution when manager approaches. Getting labelled get can benefits and negatives.
      - watwut 2y ago
        I said no to things and world did not ended. You absolutely can say no. If you can't, you need to change the team or job.
- sigseg1v 2y ago
  I mean, I am a manager and if I saw another manager doing this type of exercise I would probably report it because it seems extremely inappropriate and they would probably want a heads up that we have a manager trying to be a wannabe therapist rather than trying to foster a safe and productive team environment.
biorach 2y ago
> For them the risk of career sabotage vs a change of improved quality of life might be worth considering The risk is way too high

Imustaskforhelp 2y ago

I also agree with this sentiment but at the same time I think it boils down to how you interpret these things , for op it was one of the greatest things but to somebody else , this makes boss not likeable. I think this shows that the boss was going out of his way which I "personally" appreciate. I don't know what people expect managers / boss to do. Somebody on team expects their boss to X and somebody else on that same team expects their boss to be anything but X. If I ever become a manager , I am probably taking this boss's approach , I think its good to have some talks like this. I am also much inspired by the likes of charles schwab and dale carnegie's how to win friends and influence people so probably there is a bias here

thunky 2y ago
> I don't know what people expect managers / boss to do What they do should be related to the company work, otherwise they're overstepping. They're not social workers. They have to respect the privacy and independence of their coworkers. > If I ever become a manager , I am probably taking this boss's approach Please don't. Coworkers can obviously have social relationships but they should grow organically without being "managed". You know the best way for that to happen is? Let them work together. They'll build their own relationships. They don't need your help. If they don't work together enough for this to happen naturally then they're strangers to each other anyway and that's ok too.
dymk 2y ago
If you were my boss and did this I'd be going to my skip manager to complain.
- captnObvious 2y ago
  It sounded like an optional request not a command. I’ve managed and I’ve been managed and the relationship ships I’ve built along the way are deep enough to have conversations like these. We’re doing life with this people it’s not a dystopian novel about capitalism. If you have a genuine person as your boss moments like these help form friendships, and don’t feel like a dark Dilbert comic. Friendships increase team communicability which bolster project success.
  - dymk 2y ago
    A manager asking you to do something is never “just” an optional request
    - hhh 2y ago
      They absolutely can be. You can push back against your manager.
      - twelve40 2y ago
        Still, you'd rather save your push back privileges - which come with a cost - for something actually important and work-related. Not for random crap like that, being put on the spot randomly in a personal way.
        ipaddr 2y ago
        Use it and get more pushback power plus get caution when manager approaches. Getting labelled get can benefits and negatives.
    - watwut 2y ago
      I said no to things and world did not ended. You absolutely can say no. If you can't, you need to change the team or job.
sigseg1v 2y ago
I mean, I am a manager and if I saw another manager doing this type of exercise I would probably report it because it seems extremely inappropriate and they would probably want a heads up that we have a manager trying to be a wannabe therapist rather than trying to foster a safe and productive team environment.

biorach 2y ago

> For them the risk of career sabotage vs a change of improved quality of life might be worth considering The risk is way too high