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in the leadership program, they teach us that if your presence, or aura, isn't steady, nothing else matters. when it is, you find your own charisma, and that's

in the leadership program, they teach us that if your presence, or aura, isn't steady, nothing else matters. when it is, you find your own charisma, and that's when you can truly be yourself. you can be fun, direct, indirect, extroverted, or introverted—it doesn't matter. but the key is consistency. you need to remain the same in every situation, with every person, and that’s the hard part. this is why attractive people seem to effortlessly navigate any social interaction. in reality, they don't feel like they need to change much at all.

herval 2y ago
A key thing any senior leader usually learn is that you MUST adapt your behavior in front of the audience, depending on the audience. People won't react to your "charisma" the same way, and being consistent isn't a necessity. Anyone who worked with a charismatic leader (from Steve Jobs to Adam Neumann) will tell you they wear many faces, depending on the setting, and they're usually different (so not a "true self").
joe_the_user 2y ago
in the leadership program, they teach us that if your presence, or aura, isn't steady, nothing else matters. My only guess is that statements like this ring true for someone who is having the experience of being successful socially. However, they seem completely useless to someone trying to change their behavior in order to be socially successful.
- andrewflnr 2y ago
  In the form of advice for people trying to get better at social stuff: fake confidence and relaxation, in the full confidence that it quickly becomes true. I'm probably a mild case, but once I got it, this worked for me. (That, and it's helpful to have a few canned entry and exit lines. Knowing you can break off a conversation if it gets awkward or stalls makes it less scary to start one. Even just a version of, "well, it was nice to meet you, I'm going to move along now", in whatever phrasing sounds right from you)

herval 2y ago

A key thing any senior leader usually learn is that you MUST adapt your behavior in front of the audience, depending on the audience. People won't react to your "charisma" the same way, and being consistent isn't a necessity. Anyone who worked with a charismatic leader (from Steve Jobs to Adam Neumann) will tell you they wear many faces, depending on the setting, and they're usually different (so not a "true self").

joe_the_user 2y ago

in the leadership program, they teach us that if your presence, or aura, isn't steady, nothing else matters. My only guess is that statements like this ring true for someone who is having the experience of being successful socially. However, they seem completely useless to someone trying to change their behavior in order to be socially successful.

andrewflnr 2y ago
In the form of advice for people trying to get better at social stuff: fake confidence and relaxation, in the full confidence that it quickly becomes true. I'm probably a mild case, but once I got it, this worked for me. (That, and it's helpful to have a few canned entry and exit lines. Knowing you can break off a conversation if it gets awkward or stalls makes it less scary to start one. Even just a version of, "well, it was nice to meet you, I'm going to move along now", in whatever phrasing sounds right from you)