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It doesn't matter if other people are "smarter" (whatever metric you might measure that by). Only you can fully understand how and what you feel. Only you can

It doesn't matter if other people are "smarter" (whatever metric you might measure that by). Only you can fully understand how and what you feel. Only you can know what you desire, what drives you. Only you can know what is the best way of living a life you feel good about living. > if I was smart, I would (1) write down exactly what I want from life Perhaps you are capable of doing that. I will claim that you are not. I don't think it is possible to fully articulate one's inner workings, the way one feels. The best you can do is to give a rough overview of your situation and in return get rough, semi-fitting advice. This advice may help you. But the one shaping this advice into something that truly fits you, is you.

0xEF 2y ago
My approach to advice (both giving and receiving) has always been to use it as experimental perspective. A brief, but different way of looking at a thing in hopes that might spark some sort of answer, realization, whatever. Some people, in my experience, treat advice as another "telling them what to do" which implies that the advisor sees the advised as lesser, be that dumber or incapable of solving their own issues, etc, instead of the advisor just trying to help. It's an ego thing, I think. Then again, my general rule is if I have to listen to someone bitch about a thing, then they have to listen to my advice about it. I think that's fair.
WA 2y ago
> Only you can know what you desire, what drives you I think a) what I desire is pretty exchangeable and not fixed at all and b) it might be the other way around: I desire what I pay attention to. Of course, my desires are in a certain area. I might think I really want to learn kite-boarding, but riding a bicycle is nice too. Or just walking. And when I walk, the desire to really learn kite-surfing goes down. I might desire a nice meal, but if I wait a bit, the baguette with cheese from the bakery sounds good too.
tuyiown 2y ago
This line of thinking is very dangerous. Many people are their worst enemies, and the sole path to wellness is to fight their impulsions and following external guidance, personalized or general social pressure. They must fight day to day their "inwner workings", not in the aim to feel good in their life, but avoid spiraling in worse situation. One could say that people ends up in such a dire spot because they ignored or lost how to experience their good feelings and should find their way back to it, but I wouldn't gamble on people's life.
- AnimalMuppet 2y ago
  > Many people are their worst enemies... True. > ... and the sole path to wellness is to fight their impulsions and following external guidance, personalized or general social pressure. That won't work. There's too much out there, too many people saying too many things. There is some external guidance and social pressure that will point in helpful directions, and there is plenty that won't. (For example, think of beer ads that try to make it "socially cool" to be drinking.) For that matter, people have different impulses, too. Some need to be fought against, and some should be encouraged. So people need something more than their impulses, and something more than society. They need some kind of standard, maybe even some kind of morals. (Maybe that's what you meant by "external guidance"?)

0xEF 2y ago

My approach to advice (both giving and receiving) has always been to use it as experimental perspective. A brief, but different way of looking at a thing in hopes that might spark some sort of answer, realization, whatever. Some people, in my experience, treat advice as another "telling them what to do" which implies that the advisor sees the advised as lesser, be that dumber or incapable of solving their own issues, etc, instead of the advisor just trying to help. It's an ego thing, I think. Then again, my general rule is if I have to listen to someone bitch about a thing, then they have to listen to my advice about it. I think that's fair.

WA 2y ago

> Only you can know what you desire, what drives you I think a) what I desire is pretty exchangeable and not fixed at all and b) it might be the other way around: I desire what I pay attention to. Of course, my desires are in a certain area. I might think I really want to learn kite-boarding, but riding a bicycle is nice too. Or just walking. And when I walk, the desire to really learn kite-surfing goes down. I might desire a nice meal, but if I wait a bit, the baguette with cheese from the bakery sounds good too.

tuyiown 2y ago

This line of thinking is very dangerous. Many people are their worst enemies, and the sole path to wellness is to fight their impulsions and following external guidance, personalized or general social pressure. They must fight day to day their "inwner workings", not in the aim to feel good in their life, but avoid spiraling in worse situation. One could say that people ends up in such a dire spot because they ignored or lost how to experience their good feelings and should find their way back to it, but I wouldn't gamble on people's life.

AnimalMuppet 2y ago
> Many people are their worst enemies... True. > ... and the sole path to wellness is to fight their impulsions and following external guidance, personalized or general social pressure. That won't work. There's too much out there, too many people saying too many things. There is some external guidance and social pressure that will point in helpful directions, and there is plenty that won't. (For example, think of beer ads that try to make it "socially cool" to be drinking.) For that matter, people have different impulses, too. Some need to be fought against, and some should be encouraged. So people need something more than their impulses, and something more than society. They need some kind of standard, maybe even some kind of morals. (Maybe that's what you meant by "external guidance"?)