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I'm "that guy" that questions everything, leaving no stone un-turned and no assumption unquestioned. I came to this point after being told that saying "no, here
by zo1 2y ago
I'm "that guy" that questions everything, leaving no stone un-turned and no assumption unquestioned. I came to this point after being told that saying "no, here's why" all the time made me "difficult to work with".
New lesson learned: They don't like you questioning everything and being super thorough either. And no matter how politely[1] you say it, they think you're difficult to work with too. The decision to rewrite, or do something a certain way was made by someone that is "in the decision room", and they'll play along with you for a while, but you best eventually acquiesce to the way they want it done.
Being a bit more meta about it: I'd say the real problem is that the tech field has ridiculous levels of "flat hierarchy". In this case it means that simultaneous everyone and no one has a say in any one particular decision. And even if there is a title for whatever responsibility or area you are to have final say in, there is always the room for suggestion and criticism, which means you have to "consider it". Thus opening the flood gates of all this non-sense.
[1]. I don't even know the word to use here. Politely doesn't do it justice to how much I have to bend over backwards to be considerate, calm, and appreciative of everyone.
- IshKebab 2y ago> they think you're difficult to work with too. Sounds like they're right. That attitude is difficult to work with. > no assumption unquestioned That's just unhelpful and a hindrance. Assumptions are good! They are huge time savers. Occasionally they are wrong and that can lead to bad things but questioning every assumption is just pointless and going to piss everyone off. People have told you you're difficult to work with, and you can't really argue with that anymore than you can argue with someone saying they don't like you. You can't say "yes you do!". > there is always the room for suggestion and criticism, which means you have to "consider it". Erm yeah! Why would you not want to consider people's suggestions? Maybe instead of complaining about people finding you difficult to work with you could try and change your attitude so that they don't?
- juliushuijnk 2y agoA bit harsh.
- zo1 2y agoI think you took my comments a bit too literally and out of context. I'm not sure why you felt the need to be so uncharitable and mean-spirited, other than because I decided to have my little side-rant in your sub-thread. > Erm yeah! Why would you not want to consider people's suggestions? This was in the context of a lack of definitive authority and a flat-hierarchy. People that work with me know I genuinely consider everyone's opinion, and everyone always gets a clean slate with me.
- juliushuijnk 2y ago> they think you're difficult to work with too. Can be a cultural thing. Here in the Netherlands, it's expected that you give honest feedback. In other cultures Dutch people are known to be blunt or impolite because of this trait. In general you can ask beforehand; "Would you like some feedback on your proposal? I have some thoughts about it I'd like to share". > Thus opening the flood gates of all this non-sense. Am I misunderstanding you? It seems here you call suggestions and criticism non-sense. Where earlier you say that when you give suggestions and criticism, you hate it when it's viewed as non-sense. I'd say that if there is so much negativity regarding feedback, you need a process to structure it. This at the very least stops it from 'hanging in the air' all the time.