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Best technique I learned for this is to get good at remembering the points you made clearly, then counter-attacking using specifics, "oh so on [point X], what h
by jalapenos 2y ago
Best technique I learned for this is to get good at remembering the points you made clearly, then counter-attacking using specifics, "oh so on [point X], what have you found to be the case?".
Basically you're trying to force them into positions where they reveal they don't know what they're talking about.
They'll then commonly start trying to squirm out of it by talking around the topic or using dishonest techniques. Each time you do, you just make sure to softly bring attention to the fact, in your very next response, that they haven't addressed your previous point, and the importance of it. You never let them sidestep or squirm away for a split second.
Their game is to go vague and talk shit, yours is to keep asking for details and pointing out why they're needed, revealing to others that they're a "fake it til you make it" idiot, until they either back off or others do something about them.
Doesn't work though if they're in a clear position of power over you, as this behavior is indicative either of stupidity or narcissism, and in which case you nod your head, and save your energy for breaking out.
- CoastalCoder 2y agoIt seems like you're assuming that the other party's goal is to deceive, bullshit, bluster, etc. Is it possible that in some cases they're talking in good faith, but using an approach to communicate or collaboration that you misunderstand?
- neilv 2y agoOr that they're misunderstanding (something about the topic, or the communication about it).
- jalapenos 2y agoI'm talking about the case I replied to, where one side explains something, and the other rejects it without reason - that's an absence of communication and collaboration. And no, usually the other party's goal is to reject change that comes from someone other than them, due to ego, arrogance, anxiety, apathy, laziness, etc.
- krageon 2y agoThe approach to communication is deception and bullshit