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I agree- cheating in my view is generally an immature way to deal with being unhappy and unfulfilled in a relationship- instead of taking responsibility, commun

by _yb2s 2y ago

I agree- cheating in my view is generally an immature way to deal with being unhappy and unfulfilled in a relationship- instead of taking responsibility, communicating, setting boundaries, and ending the relationship if necessary people try to pretend everything is fine and cheat in secret. I don’t agree men are “more able to act out.” It’s easier for women to cheat so they don’t even need to go online, but just stop turning down interest they were getting anyways.

bsenftner 2y ago
The problem is much wider than simply people cheating on their spouses. It's the failure of people in aggregate to rein in their predator in virtually any interaction they can get away with being a predator.
- _yb2s 2y ago
  I see what you’re getting at, but think predator is the wrong word. Narcissism might be more appropriate- it is just thinking about yourself and not caring about the well being of others or of the group. Usually rationalized by the idea that everyone else is as well, and if you don’t you’re just getting taken advantage of… which becomes increasingly true the more people act this way, a self fulfilling prophecy.
  - bsenftner 2y ago
    Yeah, you've got it. It's the inability to see oneself as a part of a larger harmonious whole they have responsibility to nurture.
    - _yb2s 2y ago
      I think this got so much worse during the covid pandemic. Really disheartening to see that when things get a little tough people become nasty and selfish, and create a new crisis within a crisis. I was naive enough to expect the opposite, that people would get some perspective and show some kindness, strength, and humanity.
      - bsenftner 2y ago
        That's what I mean when I say adult immaturity is rampant: an adult facing stress does not become nasty, selfish, nor act out creating a new crisis within the active crisis. That is small minded, "I'm the protagonist" thinking. While often a calm discussion with those in charge, communicating with peer-wise empathy, resolves everything.

by _yb2s 2y ago

bsenftner 2y ago

The problem is much wider than simply people cheating on their spouses. It's the failure of people in aggregate to rein in their predator in virtually any interaction they can get away with being a predator.

_yb2s 2y ago
I see what you’re getting at, but think predator is the wrong word. Narcissism might be more appropriate- it is just thinking about yourself and not caring about the well being of others or of the group. Usually rationalized by the idea that everyone else is as well, and if you don’t you’re just getting taken advantage of… which becomes increasingly true the more people act this way, a self fulfilling prophecy.
- bsenftner 2y ago
  Yeah, you've got it. It's the inability to see oneself as a part of a larger harmonious whole they have responsibility to nurture.
  - _yb2s 2y ago
    I think this got so much worse during the covid pandemic. Really disheartening to see that when things get a little tough people become nasty and selfish, and create a new crisis within a crisis. I was naive enough to expect the opposite, that people would get some perspective and show some kindness, strength, and humanity.
    - bsenftner 2y ago
      That's what I mean when I say adult immaturity is rampant: an adult facing stress does not become nasty, selfish, nor act out creating a new crisis within the active crisis. That is small minded, "I'm the protagonist" thinking. While often a calm discussion with those in charge, communicating with peer-wise empathy, resolves everything.