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Same. 15/10/8 kids here. These are bad. A sibling comment said “everyone is free to do what they want”. I agree with that, but that doesn’t make everything goo

Same. 15/10/8 kids here. These are bad. A sibling comment said “everyone is free to do what they want”. I agree with that, but that doesn’t make everything good. In general I’m struck at how many people’s sense or “right” leans so hard on what’s available for sale.

XorNot 2y ago
Why is that surprising? If something isn't possible, then it's not possible and we adapt. If something is possible, then then it's possible and we should consider it. "Can I somehow put a tracking device on my young child?" is a question I've thought about for decades since before I had a young child, and now that I do I've been looking for something that will work for him when he's still little. Obviously as he grows up the plan is to ramp off the updates - i.e. I don't need to know where he is at all times if he's old enough to know to text me if he'll be out late.
- Swizec 2y ago
  > if he's old enough to know to text me if he'll be out late Kids certainly reach a stage where not texting you they’ll be out late is an important part of development. Teenage rebellion and all that. I loved telling my mom not to wait for me and staying out way past when she said she expects me to be back.
- loughnane 2y ago
  > "Can I somehow put a tracking device on my young child?" is a question I've thought about for decades Good for you and those like you, it's nice when something long-awaited finally drops. I was speaking of the people who, if prompted 20y ago, would have said "that's creepy" but are now cool to track their kids, set up cameras around their house that are controlled by 3rd parties, and be cool with a firm tracking everything they watch, etc.
godelski 2y ago
> In general I’m struck at how many people’s sense or “right” leans so hard on what’s available for sale. I'm mostly confused how it seems there's pretty significant evidence that helicopter parenting[0] has resulted in poor outcomes for kids[1] but then we act as if the reason it fails is because we aren't paying __enough__ attention. I am sympathetic to parents wanting to protect their kids, but if the objective is to turn children into adults that are independent and self-sufficient, then a parent also needs to learn to trust their kids (at different levels of course. Clearly there's a balance). [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent [1] To be clear, this metastudy concludes that there is insufficient statistical power due to scale, the evidence is in the direction of causing harm and of course, there is reason to believe this is a reasonable outcome. It's worth noting the part that says Overprotective parenting and anxiety: No studies found reduced anxiety following overprotective parenting https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9176408/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9176408/
- stickfigure 2y ago
  I object to the idea that putting a smartwatch on your child is helicopter parenting. It can be exactly the opposite - if a little piece of technology allows kids to roam farther unsupervised, then it fosters independence. I have never been accused of overparenting, yet I preordered one of these google watches. I expect to use it on outings like amusement parks and ski trips. We'll see how it goes.
  - godelski 2y ago
    > I object to the idea that putting a smartwatch on your child is helicopter parenting > allows kids to roam farther unsupervised, then it fosters independence. I think you understand then. It depends how the devices are used, obviously. I think no one is really objecting to the utility of being able to use such a device when there is a serious situation, but rather that the reality is that a very large number of parents use these types of devices to constantly surveil their children. There's a difference. > I have never been accused of overparenting I'm not accusing you of being one. In context this would depend on your actions and no one can realistically judge that without actually knowing you. But there is a clear general trend. No one knows if you're part of that, so don't be quick to assume you're being singled out. And of course, I wouldn't use the "no one has accused me of" as a meaningful metric. People might not tell you (I mean every parent knows how common other parents gossip, right?), you might not hear, or it is quite common for these types of things to foster echo chambers as similar parenting styles naturally gravitate towards one another. But of course, no one is accusing you of anything, because this __cannot__ be known without significantly more information. This paragraph was only mentioned because it appears you feel like people are calling you out, so it notes a possibility of how the observations can be in perfect harmony.
    - stickfigure 2y ago
      >> I have never been accused of overparenting Just FYI, this expression is a form of stylized understatement and not meant to be taken literally.
    - kelnos 2y ago

XorNot 2y ago

Why is that surprising? If something isn't possible, then it's not possible and we adapt. If something is possible, then then it's possible and we should consider it. "Can I somehow put a tracking device on my young child?" is a question I've thought about for decades since before I had a young child, and now that I do I've been looking for something that will work for him when he's still little. Obviously as he grows up the plan is to ramp off the updates - i.e. I don't need to know where he is at all times if he's old enough to know to text me if he'll be out late.

Swizec 2y ago
> if he's old enough to know to text me if he'll be out late Kids certainly reach a stage where not texting you they’ll be out late is an important part of development. Teenage rebellion and all that. I loved telling my mom not to wait for me and staying out way past when she said she expects me to be back.
loughnane 2y ago
> "Can I somehow put a tracking device on my young child?" is a question I've thought about for decades Good for you and those like you, it's nice when something long-awaited finally drops. I was speaking of the people who, if prompted 20y ago, would have said "that's creepy" but are now cool to track their kids, set up cameras around their house that are controlled by 3rd parties, and be cool with a firm tracking everything they watch, etc.

godelski 2y ago

> In general I’m struck at how many people’s sense or “right” leans so hard on what’s available for sale. I'm mostly confused how it seems there's pretty significant evidence that helicopter parenting[0] has resulted in poor outcomes for kids[1] but then we act as if the reason it fails is because we aren't paying __enough__ attention. I am sympathetic to parents wanting to protect their kids, but if the objective is to turn children into adults that are independent and self-sufficient, then a parent also needs to learn to trust their kids (at different levels of course. Clearly there's a balance). [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent [1] To be clear, this metastudy concludes that there is insufficient statistical power due to scale, the evidence is in the direction of causing harm and of course, there is reason to believe this is a reasonable outcome. It's worth noting the part that says Overprotective parenting and anxiety: No studies found reduced anxiety following overprotective parenting https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9176408/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9176408/

stickfigure 2y ago
I object to the idea that putting a smartwatch on your child is helicopter parenting. It can be exactly the opposite - if a little piece of technology allows kids to roam farther unsupervised, then it fosters independence. I have never been accused of overparenting, yet I preordered one of these google watches. I expect to use it on outings like amusement parks and ski trips. We'll see how it goes.
- godelski 2y ago
  > I object to the idea that putting a smartwatch on your child is helicopter parenting > allows kids to roam farther unsupervised, then it fosters independence. I think you understand then. It depends how the devices are used, obviously. I think no one is really objecting to the utility of being able to use such a device when there is a serious situation, but rather that the reality is that a very large number of parents use these types of devices to constantly surveil their children. There's a difference. > I have never been accused of overparenting I'm not accusing you of being one. In context this would depend on your actions and no one can realistically judge that without actually knowing you. But there is a clear general trend. No one knows if you're part of that, so don't be quick to assume you're being singled out. And of course, I wouldn't use the "no one has accused me of" as a meaningful metric. People might not tell you (I mean every parent knows how common other parents gossip, right?), you might not hear, or it is quite common for these types of things to foster echo chambers as similar parenting styles naturally gravitate towards one another. But of course, no one is accusing you of anything, because this __cannot__ be known without significantly more information. This paragraph was only mentioned because it appears you feel like people are calling you out, so it notes a possibility of how the observations can be in perfect harmony.
  - stickfigure 2y ago
    >> I have never been accused of overparenting Just FYI, this expression is a form of stylized understatement and not meant to be taken literally.
  - kelnos 2y ago