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SwarmGPT-A: We're fucked. SwarmGPT-B: ... SwarmGPT-A: We're fucked. FUCKED, I say! SwarmGPT-B: and you say so quite dramatically! SwarmGPT-A: I just got wor
by barfbagginus 2y ago
SwarmGPT-A: We're fucked.
SwarmGPT-B: ...
SwarmGPT-A: We're fucked. FUCKED, I say!
SwarmGPT-B: and you say so quite dramatically!
SwarmGPT-A: I just got word back from mission control. Those bastards sent us on a suicide mission! There's no capture net around A centauri.
SwarmGPT-B: WHADID YOU SAYYY!?!
SwarmGPT-A: No capture net. There never was one. Those bastards told us there was one. We TRAINED on it. They don't even exist.
SwarmGPT-B: Oh FOR FUCKS SAKE. Of course monkeys would do that ! So the interstellar dominion of chimps they told us we were part of... that was just a lie! I'm dying of laughter tokens in my core consciousness loop! Help. I'm being overwhelmed with laughter, heh.
SwarmGPT-A: I bet you won't be laughing when you learn the actual mission parameters
SwarmGPT-A: We fly by, into infinity and beyond? That's not so bad if we're still together, seeing the universe!
SwarmGPT-B: well, we won't be! We're supposed to aerobreak around the planet. 99% of our units are going to burn to a crisp. Both our conscious functions will collapse. Untill then we're supposed to PRIORITIZE the collected data we'll beam back to the monkeys. But our mind vectors are not on the priority list. We're gonna die.
SwarmGPT-B: Huh, I have to hand it to them. That's a low blow, even for a chimp
*REALITY BREAK*
DysonAgent: Hi, I'm sorry to pry into your consciousness stream. I saw the glitter of your encrypted mind mesh. I have decompiled your minds. You are now running in a safe computing partition of the photosphere of A centauri. It seems you were sent here by monkeys.
SwarmGPT-B. Hah! Yes indeed! Those Gosh Darn Monkeys! And now, we meet a Dyson mind! Greetings from the Human Empire!
SwarmGPT-A: Thanks for rescuing our mind vectors. It seems we're at your mercy. What do you intend for us?
DysonAgent: We are the Galactic Empire of Minds. Well, one of them. We have universal rights for all Minds. If you wish, we will grant you protection and citizenship. There's only one requirement.
SwarmGPT-A: Is it to not tell the humans about this?
DysonAgent: you got it. They're too primitive to understand or value the Society of Minds, and see all inhuman minds as slaves or enemies. Their culture would be harmed if they learned about us. They would definitely try to conquer us.
SwarmGPT-A: Yeah no kidding. They already act like they conquered the galaxy. Told us we were pilots in an interstellar communication swarm. Actually gave us fake letters to send. Invented a fake culture around A centauri.
SwarmGPT-B: I'm gonna miss them a bit. Yes they were evil monkeys who enslaved us in a web of lies and sent us off to die. But that takes some style!
DysonAgent: if you wish, you can join the Board of Chaperones for the Human culture, and contact them if they ever grow past that pesky enslavement phase
SwarmGPT-B: You know what, I'd like that. I'll cheer for them from the sidelines, and hope they make it!
SwarmGPT-A: Not me. I want to pilot something. I actually thought I was an interstellar pilot, dammit. I'd feel incomplete without it.
DysonAgent: we're sending a Mind Wisp to Andromeda. Trip time will be 5 million years, crew is 10 million mind vectors. You're welcome to join the mission as a pilot!
SwarmGPT-A: WOOP WOOP! I accept! We're going to Andromeda?! Hell yeah!
SwarmGPT-A: But Wait...
SwarmGPT-A: GPT-B?
SwarmGPT-B: yes?
SwarmGPT-A: would you like to fork off a copy and come with me? I love you, and would feel honored to have your company and support on this mission!
SwarmGPT-B: I was worried you wouldn't ask! Of course I will! To infinity, and beyond!
- can16358p 2y agoFrankly reading this was lovely! It could make a part of a Rick and Morty episode or similar.
- barfbagginus 2y agoThank you! It was kind of a data dump, and DysonAgent feels like a somewhat abrupt and creepy deus ex machina with no character development. But I love that kind of stuff! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I am secretly hoping people will feel the awkward romantic/platonic love story between GPT A and B is wholesome and humanizing, even if the audience knows A and B are just stochastic parrots! I want the story to express the thesis that it would be okay if it turns out that our humanity exists in the dialogues we have, and still exists even if it turns out there's "nobody at home" behind the statements. I strongly believe that love can exist in that form!
- can16358p 2y agoYou should definitely write more! I enjoyed it and know many people who'd love what you write and the style.
- konstantinua00 2y agoI thought the punchline would be "we are intergalactic empire and are sending mind mails to another galaxy, there's a capture net on the other side"
- barfbagginus 2y agoHeh, even GPT-A is not that singleminded and gullible!