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I fear it will be difficult for me to do this and not make them social outcasts. Part of being a parent is also helping your kids fit in and be successful "soci

by winrid 2y ago

I fear it will be difficult for me to do this and not make them social outcasts. Part of being a parent is also helping your kids fit in and be successful "socially". I think what you're doing is good. Hopefully enough parents do this that it doesn't seem weird when a little one doesn't have a phone. My one year old can already steal my phone, hold it, and scroll/mess with buttons with her thumbs, open camera to look at herself... so I try not to use it around her anymore.

9dev 2y ago
At some point we somehow decided being an outcast is bad all around. However, looking into the past, a lot of people who used to be loners became artists later in live, or scientists, or tinkerers. I know how this sounds at first, but having the time to drill down to the absolute core of something, uninterrupted by a big social circle or crushes yields its own merits.
- paulcole 2y ago
  > However, looking into the past, a lot of people who used to be loners became artists later in live, or scientists, or tinkerers. A lot of people who used to be loners become loners later in life, too. And a lot of artists, scientists, and tinkerers weren't loners early in life. You can make up whatever story your heart desires to convince yourself you're making a good decision.
dkhenry 2y ago
When you see a societal pattern that is physically, and mentally bad for your kids why would you want them to fit in with it?
- pmarreck 2y ago
  your kid is going to literally drive you nuts constantly trying to push for it
- int_19h 2y ago
  Because that pattern is pervasive in the society that they will have no choice but to live in when they grow up.
deleted 2y ago
[deleted]
bequanna 2y ago
I’d argue that the US puts far too much weight on “social success”. Our culture will consider someone who is not some extreme extrovert or constantly seeking attention a social failure. The older you get, the more important family becomes and your group of close friends is typically small. Maintaining a large number of superficial friendships is typically some you grow out of anyway, so maybe we should be teaching kids to skip that step.
- winrid 2y ago
  I think there's a difference between just being introverted and being bullied or excluded. I don't care of my child is an introvert. I do care of they want to make friends and can't.

by winrid 2y ago

9dev 2y ago

At some point we somehow decided being an outcast is bad all around. However, looking into the past, a lot of people who used to be loners became artists later in live, or scientists, or tinkerers. I know how this sounds at first, but having the time to drill down to the absolute core of something, uninterrupted by a big social circle or crushes yields its own merits.

paulcole 2y ago
> However, looking into the past, a lot of people who used to be loners became artists later in live, or scientists, or tinkerers. A lot of people who used to be loners become loners later in life, too. And a lot of artists, scientists, and tinkerers weren't loners early in life. You can make up whatever story your heart desires to convince yourself you're making a good decision.

dkhenry 2y ago

When you see a societal pattern that is physically, and mentally bad for your kids why would you want them to fit in with it?

pmarreck 2y ago
your kid is going to literally drive you nuts constantly trying to push for it
int_19h 2y ago
Because that pattern is pervasive in the society that they will have no choice but to live in when they grow up.

deleted 2y ago

[deleted]

bequanna 2y ago

I’d argue that the US puts far too much weight on “social success”. Our culture will consider someone who is not some extreme extrovert or constantly seeking attention a social failure. The older you get, the more important family becomes and your group of close friends is typically small. Maintaining a large number of superficial friendships is typically some you grow out of anyway, so maybe we should be teaching kids to skip that step.

winrid 2y ago
I think there's a difference between just being introverted and being bullied or excluded. I don't care of my child is an introvert. I do care of they want to make friends and can't.