4 ms·

kids without "the right attitude" or a lack of innate ability are routinely excluded from sports, as im sure many of us here have experienced. You're projectin

kids without "the right attitude" or a lack of innate ability are routinely excluded from sports, as im sure many of us here have experienced. You're projecting. Most coaches just want kids to work hard and have fun. They really couldn't care less about winning. If you need absolute proof, there are many sports such as swimming and track where every additional kid adds points to your team total such that having more kids is always more advantageous to the coach(es).

miriam_catira 3y ago
No, I don't think they're projecting, I think you've been highly fortunate. Track is not a good example, at least in my case. Our coaches spent ZERO time with those of us who weren't obviously going to be breaking any records, and whenever we lost a match, made us do so much extra work it was almost impossible to climb stairs the next day. I couldn't get any support from any of them, which I still consider highly unfair, since if I had support maybe I could have figured out a method to improve, but on my own... I just quit. From my experience in multiple sports, most coaches just want to win. Finding one who cares more about the kids than the score is an absolute blessing, they're so rare.
zzzeek 3y ago
i watched a basketball coach literally pass over my child twice in a basketball-skills display for the parents, as he is mildly autistic and was not lining up with the other kids (not at lot of kids, about 15 kids) cleanly enough for the coach to notice him. He had practiced every move, he was able to do every skill. We had to yell at the coach "HEY YOU FORGOT <our son>!" when it was time for him to demonstrate dribbling in a curved line, pass back and then shoot for the basket; the coach apologized "Oh I forgot!" and our son did the display PERFECTLY, then literally 5 minutes later when all the kids lined up to shoot for a full height basket, HE SKIPPED OVER HIM AGAIN - we didnt have the nerve to yell out again that our child was passed over, they had moved onto a new exercise by then. My child came over to us and curled up into a ball on the floor for the rest of the display as all the parents around us ignored us. The coach DID NOT NOTICE or care. Because our child is mildly autistic and does not display the usual "sporting attitude", he was literally ignored by his coach in front of our faces, and as he continued to not look very "sporting", this grown adult coach simply could not see that our child even existed even as we were RIGHT THERE (nor did any parents). I had many similar experiences 45 years ago. A lot has changed in sports but dumb coaches who can only see what they want to see have apparently not, and this most CERTAINLY has an enormous impression on neurodivergent kids as to how athletic they're going to be. so no I'm not projecting. Kids who don't "look/act right" are ignored and discarded by sports and in my direct experience as a parent this has hardly changed at all.

miriam_catira 3y ago

No, I don't think they're projecting, I think you've been highly fortunate. Track is not a good example, at least in my case. Our coaches spent ZERO time with those of us who weren't obviously going to be breaking any records, and whenever we lost a match, made us do so much extra work it was almost impossible to climb stairs the next day. I couldn't get any support from any of them, which I still consider highly unfair, since if I had support maybe I could have figured out a method to improve, but on my own... I just quit. From my experience in multiple sports, most coaches just want to win. Finding one who cares more about the kids than the score is an absolute blessing, they're so rare.

zzzeek 3y ago

i watched a basketball coach literally pass over my child twice in a basketball-skills display for the parents, as he is mildly autistic and was not lining up with the other kids (not at lot of kids, about 15 kids) cleanly enough for the coach to notice him. He had practiced every move, he was able to do every skill. We had to yell at the coach "HEY YOU FORGOT <our son>!" when it was time for him to demonstrate dribbling in a curved line, pass back and then shoot for the basket; the coach apologized "Oh I forgot!" and our son did the display PERFECTLY, then literally 5 minutes later when all the kids lined up to shoot for a full height basket, HE SKIPPED OVER HIM AGAIN - we didnt have the nerve to yell out again that our child was passed over, they had moved onto a new exercise by then. My child came over to us and curled up into a ball on the floor for the rest of the display as all the parents around us ignored us. The coach DID NOT NOTICE or care. Because our child is mildly autistic and does not display the usual "sporting attitude", he was literally ignored by his coach in front of our faces, and as he continued to not look very "sporting", this grown adult coach simply could not see that our child even existed even as we were RIGHT THERE (nor did any parents). I had many similar experiences 45 years ago. A lot has changed in sports but dumb coaches who can only see what they want to see have apparently not, and this most CERTAINLY has an enormous impression on neurodivergent kids as to how athletic they're going to be. so no I'm not projecting. Kids who don't "look/act right" are ignored and discarded by sports and in my direct experience as a parent this has hardly changed at all.