21 ms·

I Know the secret to the quiet mind. I wish I'd never learned it (2021)

185 points by ianai 2y ago

ianai 2y ago
She and her family were hit by a wrong way truck probably going 70 mph. It completely shattered their bodies, lives and shows how precious our moments are. This almost feels personal to me because of how well written her account is. I’ve had terrible chronic migraines for as long as i can remember. Apparently they can be associated with brain lesions, too. I’ll clearly never know how they’ve impacted my personality.
- markx2 2y ago
  After decades of migraines I was diagnosed with Chronic Daily Migraines. I was prescribed a 'under the tongue' triptan which if the migraine aura arrived during the day worked some of the time. If I woke with the migraine at 10/10 pain level than I lost the full day. One of my daughters also had weekly migraines, lost a day at work each time. I got a Daith piercing in my right ear - my migraines originated on the right side of my head. Yes the piercing stung, but the next day I had no migraine. The constant pain had just stopped. This was maybe 7-8 years ago. I very rarely get odd migraine symptoms - vision feels off, head feels woolly - but no pain at all. I convinced my daughter to have a Daith. She now doesn't even get regular headaches. Anecdotal though this is, I would suggest looking into getting this piercing. It is discreet. There is no formal research I am aware of but for this sample of two it was a huge positive.
  - ianai 2y ago
    I could see that affecting the trapezius muscle or nerve endings somehow. That seems to play a large role in many of my migraines. It probably does for others as it’s part of where the botox for migraine shots go. Ie when the pain shoots up through/along the side of the traps, along the backside of the ear, to the forehead and back of the eye. Reminds me of pinching the ear lobes during a migraine. That seemed to sort of help but not terribly. Nowadays nurtec/the cgrp protein inhibitors work wonders. But I’ll consider the piercings too.
  - Gerardo1 2y ago
    Did you get the piercing because you expected it might help (and if that's the case, would you mind sharing why), or did you get the piercing just for aesthetics and then discovered it helped? I'm not looking to pick apart your story, just curious.
    - markx2 2y ago
      I got the piercing after reading something somewhere that a daith had helped someone else. I am no stranger to bodyart / piercings and I have a passing interest / experience in acupuncture / acupressure. So the idea it could help appeared worth a shot, so I went for it. I did not think "this will work", but hey, nothing ventured .. I would not describe a daith as an aesthetic piercing. It is very discreet so not a 'showing off' type. The placement also does not lend itself to changing the usual steel ball closure ring which is initially placed. I did not think through what I would do if it did not work because I am visibily modified and this extra was a nothing. My daughter has no bodyart. Standard ear-gun piercing, one in each ear. She took some convincing, but all I could say was "This worked for me, I'll pay, there is nothing to lose and much to gain". And it worked. What I do not know is "If I removed the metal, would I get migraines back?" and I'm not about to try. Here is something to try: My late wife would have bad headaches. If I squeezed the web between her big toe and the next one the pain would fade after a few minutes and if I continued the pain would stop.
      - p10_user 2y ago
        Wow pretty amazing. This seems to point very clearly to a muscle tension issue. The piercing into some area on your head may have helped some chronic tension to release, stopping the migraines.
  - TaupeRanger 2y ago
    Could be an effective placebo for sure: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/can-unconventional-piercing-rid-migraine-pain https://health.clevelandclinic.org/can-unconventional-pierci...
    - markx2 2y ago
      As I said, there is no research. But there is also much anecdotal evidence it helps.
      - TaupeRanger 2y ago
        This is one of those areas where anecdotes can be quite valuable, because there seems to be no real downside risk to a piercing aside from the money spent and possible infection, but if there's even a .01% chance it could stop debilitating chronic pain, then sure, you might make a valid decision to try it even though there isn't a study supporting it.
        reaperman 2y ago
        I tend to think in medical science that often anecdotes come first, then the "real" science. Not always populist anecdotes / wive's tales / etc, often times they come from nurses, doctors, or researchers of all kinds -- but sometimes they do come from sparse clusters of common folk sharing anecdotes with each other. Most do not pan out. But the "hard" science generally needs a spark of intuition to help someone decide "maybe I should look into this", whether it's naive citizens positing that a certain practice/diet/supplement seems to help one of their conditions, or doctors noticing a pattern with a handful of their own cases, or researchers noticing something interesting but unexpected in vitro. Again, most of these anecdotes don't pan out, but many do, and still today often against best-practice medical wisdom for systems we know less about. The human body is massively complicated, and we're still just dipping our toes in a lot of new frontiers, and there are some areas which are very difficult to formally study.
        balder1991 2y ago
  - uptime 2y ago
    I had a monthly or quarterly migraine for years before getting some wisdom teeth pulled. Now it is almost never.
  - legohead 2y ago
    I was diagnosed with cluster migraines, but I'm not convinced at that diagnosis, it didn't seem that severe. I used to get a migraine or two a month, and in allergy season it was even worse. My migraine were pure pain, I would literally think I was going to die, but I also knew I had been through it enough times that I would be okay. I'd also get full on allergy attacks (relevant in a minute), constant nose running - I'd stuff my nose with toilet paper and sit miserably, unable to focus or think clearly. Then I moved to another state, and haven't had an allergy attack since, and my migraines have mostly gone away. I get probably one real migraine a year, with smaller headaches maybe once a month. Nothing debilitating like before though. For me I think it was all allergy related, but specific allergies. The state I moved to is rated as having the same allergy levels, but yet I don't have these attacks or as many migraines anymore.
- nunez 2y ago
  As horrible as this accident is, this is also a testament to modern automotive safety. If this had happened in the 70s or 80s, they all would've been done for. I've seen reports of recent model year cars surviving these kinds of accidents while leaving their drivers unscathed.
  - kbos87 2y ago
    My partner occasionally fawns over the idea of buying a vintage Jeep, "just to drive around town, not on the highways". Safety has always been my #1 point of pushback, and when we looked into what can happen even in a low speed accident without modern safety systems, that idea was put to rest pretty quickly.
    - nick7376182 2y ago
      Driving old cars, especially open top, can be a really fun, joyful activity! Risk manage it like any other high risk activity: plan ahead, pay attention, and be realistic about your ability.
      - kbos87 2y ago
        Fair point. There’s a balance to be had!
  - didgeoridoo 2y ago
    My 8mo pregnant wife and 4yo daughter just walked away completely unscathed from a 40mph T-bone collision where the other driver blew a stop sign. Their car was hit so hard it spun around twice. The impact was directly into the driver side, where they were both sitting. By the time I got there barely 5 minutes later my daughter was sitting and joking with the police on scene. Found out later the VW Atlas essentially has armor plating in the side, which spread the side impact out from the door into the frame. Didn’t know that when we bought it, but we sure bought another one quick.
    - tsunamifury 2y ago
the-dude 2y ago
(2021) https://archive.is/hm5Ai https://archive.is/hm5Ai https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27554686 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27554686
sph 2y ago
What a well-written story. I don't have much to add, but I can say her humour or writing talent seems to be quite sharp for someone that feels she has not completely regained her mental faculties. Also the joke about opening a spa where she whacks stressed people with a bat so they find respite from our busy world: we already do that ourselves when we reach mental burnout. I did, and in some ways, I feel that years later, my mental sharpness is still not what it used to be. Perhaps burnout is as traumatic to the brain as a massive brain injury; certainly takes as long to heal from.
- ianai 2y ago
  It’s also a scene in the old movie “I heart Huckabees”. Great movie btw. https://youtu.be/9EilqfAIudI?si=ZIh4v4RmHQUf_WEL https://youtu.be/9EilqfAIudI?si=ZIh4v4RmHQUf_WEL
- kayodelycaon 2y ago
  > Perhaps burnout is as traumatic to the brain as a massive brain injury Wouldn’t surprise me. I had a massive psychotic break 5 years ago. I’m pretty sure it came with physical brain damage. My memory isn’t what it used to be. There are holes in it. Apparently some of it is so completely gone, I don’t know I’ve forgotten it. Usually I know if I forgot something because there is a dangling pointer to it. Brain damage feels distinctly different. The problems from being bipolar has very sharp lines in my brain. It’s known territory. Damage is foggy, indistinct. Things have definitely healed and I’m getting function and a few memories back. The foggy areas have mostly cleared up. It’s been an odd experience.
  - echelon_musk 2y ago
    I often feel as if the brain is deliberately culling memories around psychotic episodes as a means for survival/optimisation. Either that or the memories are treated no differently by the brain. Because one remembers the time as being so significant it seems disproportionate for it to be forgotten. But this could just be what happens to all memories.
    - 2y ago
nprateem 2y ago
Is there a follow-up?
proaralyst 2y ago
This is a really interesting account. One thing I found myself wondering was how much is the shift in her caused by the TBI, and how much by the assertion that she and her family are mortal?
poszlem 2y ago
For some reason I found this line particularly funny and poignant: "But did you know that you can eat whole grains and still get hit by a truck?"
- datascienced 2y ago
  The smokers excuse eh!
- anonzzzies 2y ago
  As I get older, more and more people around me get ill and die: many of them super healthy, not smoking or drinking, sporty all their lives, wealthy, health food nuts and no family histories get diagnosed with cancer and heart disease. In my group more healthy than unhealthy receive terrible outcomes at too young an age. It seems indeed it is not fair; do not believe or think it is, there is no reason to do so. Oh and another one is: you can have cancer and still get hit by a truck. Or; statistics don’t mean so much if it’s you ‘winning’ that lottery.
  - nunez 2y ago
    Another data point: We got a Peloton last year and have rode with lots of instructors. All of them are fit as hell. One of them had a stroke and another is battling breast cancer. Life waits for no one.
    - thiago_fm 2y ago
      Statistics are kinda pointless when you only have one life, just enjoy life and try to balance having some health as well. There are many studies that prove that having a healthy body (like not very obese) improves your lifespan. But going 5x to the gym a week, or a 6-pack has very little impact. So make sure you touch grass, have sometime to take care of your body but don't go extreme, it's a waste of time
  - automatic6131 2y ago
    Yeah, important to realize healthy eating and exercise does something like reducing a 5% (say) chance of early severe sickness or death to a 2% chance. The exact numbers are definitely wrong but the size of the effect seems about right. Of course, the chance of death is always 100% in the end :^)
SillyUsername 2y ago
That reads as somebody experiencing PTSD in addition to the injury. The "am I me" and new perspective on work and life happens as a consequence of life altering tragedy.
- antisthenes 2y ago
  I have a similar injury and I'm honestly not sure how you can not have a PTSD with a brain injury of this magnitude. So there's no need to write "in addition to". The PTSD is part of the symptoms of this kind of injury. The first year was especially tough, with a lot of suicidal thoughts and constant self-doubt.
  - SillyUsername 2y ago
    The "in addition to" was to note the change of behaviour she's noticed, not the fact you couldn't have PTSD after an injury. :) For example she mentions she forgets stuff (the injury probably) then also mentions about not feeling motivated (the PTSD).
  - SillyUsername 2y ago
    For what it's worth, my son has this injury (severe brain trauma), approximately 30% of brain is non existent. He doesn't have PTSD as it happened when he was a baby along with a large number of complications. I got PTSD with all of the multiple surgeries (and wishing goodbyes), EVDs, shunts, life and death decisions, and witnessing near death on a few occasions for him over months. The only positive is I can see PTSD in other people from once having it myself, and it is heartbreaking because I know exactly what they are going through too.
lijok 2y ago
Amazing recount. I was fortunate to learn in 2018, at a relatively young age, that my mental faculties are the most precious thing I have in life (after my wife ofcourse). It was a very simple accident; chasing a high I let my bike get too fast going downhill on a wet road, a car on the other side was oncoming, I break, the back wheel slips out from under me, I hit my head on the road (with a helmet on). A bruised knee, elbow and shoulder, bit of pain, no damage to the bike, so I get up and continue. 15 minutes later I get home, a sharp migraine sets in, and suddenly, I realize, I can't remember how I got home. In fact, I can't remember most of last week. Luckily an MRI, an OK from a doctor and a couple of weeks later my memory returns and I'm no worse for the wear. In that moment, when I realized I couldn't recall how I got home, the worst panic I have ever had set in. I've had two close calls with drowning and was in a car crash in the past, and have never felt the panic I had felt in that moment, just sitting comfortably at home, realizing my brain no longer works. I wasn't scared I had a brain bleed or something and would die, I was scared I would lose my mental faculties. Since then my outlook on life has taken a complete turn. I've become a lot more cognizant of how I spend my time and what issues I engage with mentally. What we have is precious, it can dissapear in a second, on an otherwise perfect day.
- FredPret 2y ago
  Human cognition belongs on the timeline of significant events in the evolution of universe. We may be only in the tiniest of corners (for now), but probably nothing beats it in complexity (... for now).
  - Helmut10001 2y ago
    If you ever observed animals, e.g. just observing how chickens socialize, it becomes absolutely clear that they have similar cognition and perception than humans.
    - Solvency 2y ago
      my 3 chickens have deep and complex social dynamics all while being able to pinpoint grains of quinoa off the ground faster than a robot while being able to spot the faintest outline of the tiniest potential threatening hawk 2 miles away in the sky, fully discerned from various crows flying around that don't phase them at all. their little brains are processing far more than me.
nunez 2y ago
This sounds like an head-on collision that happened on a high speed rural two-lane road with an impatient driver thinking they could complete a tight pass in time. I absolutely hate these roads, for this reason.
- newaccount74 2y ago
  It is possible that the idiot in the truck just didn't see the oncoming car. It baffles me often how distracted drivers just pull out somewhere and hit a car that would be impossible to miss if the driver bothered to look at all.
  - littlekey 2y ago
    Possible, yes, but I know of a stretch of road that sounds identical to the one from the article. Single lane each way and the natural curve upward completely obscures your visibility of the opposing lane. There's "no passing" signage but I still see drivers continually pulling exactly the same maneuver going uphill and it's the most dangerous driving situation I can imagine.
- bluecalm 2y ago
  It's not the road's fault. It's the psycho drivers who attempt speeding or worse passing at speed who are the danger. May I suggest you redirect your hate? If enough of us do it maybe we will see some change in driver's behavior one day.
  - randerson 2y ago
    There will always be psycho drivers on the roads. Road designers should take that into account and design roads that make it harder for psycho drivers to endanger others.
  - nunez 2y ago
    It can absolutely be the road's fault. Why does a two lane rural road, often without a shoulder, often cutting through large swaths of unpredictable wildlife need to be rated for 70mph? I'm a cyclist and love walking. I've seen way too many drivers simply not give two fucks about pedestrians, cyclists or even other cars. I've seen way too many drivers pull out their phones at stoplights or on freeways where "nothing is going on". I've seen way too many drivers drive 30mph+ through parking lot spots thinking nothing of it. Meanwhile, public transportation initiatives and city landscapes get shot down and destroyed constantly in favor of adding "just one more lane" because people can't be arsed to drive 30mph and NEED 45mph stroads they can blast through at 60mph. Driving is one of the most dangerous activities we do on a daily basis and so many people treat it like absolutely nothing bad can happen. I hate it.
cqqxo4zV46cp 2y ago
Any updates on how she’s been going?
- matthewaveryusa 2y ago
  Here's her facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/hanaschank https://www.facebook.com/hanaschank She seems to be doing well and her writing and snark are on point. After reading her posts I'd wager 50% of you will think she's still brain-damaged and 50% will say she's never been in better shape -- such is the contemporary zeitgeist.
  - hhjinks 2y ago
    She doesn't seem to have a (public) twitter account anymore, so I'm on the better shape side.
alexpotato 2y ago
Many years ago I read an article (which I can't seem to find) that had the following key points: - Very smart guy - Had some kind of blood circulatory issue so reduced oxygen to the brain - BUT was a very active cyclist so has very good cardio - due to both of the above, he was getting enough O2 to be functional but effectively had a lower IQ - circulatory issue was eventually identified and then corrected His comments (paraphrased): "Being less smart was kind of a blessing. Instead of getting frustrated when things weren't working when there were obvious solutions, my attitude changed to just accepting things. As soon as my circulatory issues where resolved, I went right back to being frustrated."
- asystole 2y ago
  Huh, interesting. Kind of a real-life Flowers for Algernon scenario.
- ltbarcly3 2y ago
  I believe it was a hn or reddit post, I remember it also.
  - garyrob 2y ago
    Me too. I think it was on HN.
    - ltbarcly3 2y ago
      Found it, it was a blog 10 years ago. https://web.archive.org/web/20120508004058/http://garrysub.posterous.com/what-does-it-feel-like-to-be-stupid-an-anonym https://web.archive.org/web/20120508004058/http://garrysub.p...
- homefree 2y ago
  I remember that too - I think it was an HN comment, iirc he also had more empathy for less capable people as a result of having temporarily been less capable himself.
- grecy 2y ago
m3kw9 2y ago
Paywalled, who’s got some snaps on the petro?
- npilk 2y ago
  https://archive.is/hm5Ai https://archive.is/hm5Ai
- deleted 2y ago
  [deleted]
- coolspot 2y ago
  Reading mode (iOS) also gets rid of the paywall.
btbuildem 2y ago
Long time ago I had a concussion resulting from a skiing accident. It wasn't immediately apparent, but it was severe enough that I lost my job and spent ten months on unemployment. For the worst of it I was stupid, I couldn't be funny, and I was overall greatly diminished as a person. Luckily, it wasn't as bad as concussions can get, and it faded with time. This type of injury terrifies me though, and from what I read about the long-term effects of Covid, I can't believe people are just going along with it as if it was a common cold. To lose my mental faculties, long-term, is prospect beyond depressing.
- toss1 2y ago
  IDK why you are getting downvoted. Evidently some Covid-deniers here? I hope you get better soon; no question losing your mind is terrifying. I'm watching it happen to my FIL, formerly a very sharp engineer and excellent writer, who can no longer even roll dice and move a gamepiece. Seems terrifying indeed.
Tuffgoose 2y ago
Perspective granted. A good reminder of how often I take basic cognitive function for granted and a reminder that we’re entirely dependent on this system our existence is wired into.
santoshalper 2y ago
Interesting that even in the middle of recovering, she was still such a strong writer. There are a few really excellent turns of phrase and gut punches in a pretty short article.
keybored 2y ago
The title says “the quiet mind”. This seems to allude to the temporary cessation of the discursive mind in (Buddhist) meditation. > When we return to New York I take the subway to doctor appointments. I don’t take out my phone, I just sit. My brain is quiet, which I find suspicious, but also soothing. Before the accident I went to yoga retreats and tried meditation. I said things like “I just need to unplug.” Apparently what I needed was to get hit by a truck. Perhaps I have discovered the secret to a peaceful mind, and it is traumatic brain injury. I fantasize about opening an expensive spa where busy people pay me money to whack them on the head with a baseball bat. Levity aside, I’ve never seen a master meditator discuss “quieting the mind” as a downside.
- TheCleric 2y ago
  I don't think they are saying it's a downside. Quite the opposite: "but also soothing." I think she means more "If this is the price I had to pay to get there, I'd rather have a noisy mind."
  - deleted 2y ago
    [deleted]
wwilim 2y ago
My mom always used to say "if you want to be happy, get a lobotomy"
cbruns 2y ago
So much of this article resonates with me. Fortunately ours was not as horrific. Last year, my family was in a car crash while stopped at a stop sign. Someone from the crossing road veered off directly into my driver's side without slowing, about 40 mph. My pregnant wife and two year old daughter were in the back seat. My wife sustained a concussion and extreme anxiety about the condition of our unborn child for the remainder of the pregnancy. My nose was broken and face scarred. My daughter was physically unharmed. Everything she says about feeling like its important to tell people that you did nothing wrong, that it wasn't an 'accident' (oopsie, I almost killed your entire family!), that somehow you have to just keep on living your same life again and driving like this couldn't happen any minute ever again - I feel in my bones and don't think I will every be comfortable on the road or around cars ever again. The person that hit us fled and was not pursued or found. Sometimes I wonder if they ever get curious about what happened to us. Also, turns out uninsured motorist coverage only applies if you can prove they didn't have insurance, hah.
- mckn1ght 2y ago
  My todo list item to install driver cams has gone for way too long, I need to bump it up in priority. Hope you’re doing better.
CobaltFire 2y ago
I had a "moderate" TBI while in the military, and I'm actually dealing with a migraine today. I am absolutely less smart (however you want to phrase that) on the days I have a migraine. I can't quantify it, but I can say that on normal days I can do advanced math, etc. and on migraine days I just... can't understand it. It's like it just doesn't "click". It's fascinating and gives me profound empathy for those who don't have the mental faculties I do (on my good days).
duckman1 2y ago
[dead]

185 points by ianai 2y ago

She and her family were hit by a wrong way truck probably going 70 mph. It completely shattered their bodies, lives and shows how precious our moments are. This almost feels personal to me because of how well written her account is. I’ve had terrible chronic migraines for as long as i can remember. Apparently they can be associated with brain lesions, too. I’ll clearly never know how they’ve impacted my personality.

markx2 2y ago
After decades of migraines I was diagnosed with Chronic Daily Migraines. I was prescribed a 'under the tongue' triptan which if the migraine aura arrived during the day worked some of the time. If I woke with the migraine at 10/10 pain level than I lost the full day. One of my daughters also had weekly migraines, lost a day at work each time. I got a Daith piercing in my right ear - my migraines originated on the right side of my head. Yes the piercing stung, but the next day I had no migraine. The constant pain had just stopped. This was maybe 7-8 years ago. I very rarely get odd migraine symptoms - vision feels off, head feels woolly - but no pain at all. I convinced my daughter to have a Daith. She now doesn't even get regular headaches. Anecdotal though this is, I would suggest looking into getting this piercing. It is discreet. There is no formal research I am aware of but for this sample of two it was a huge positive.
- ianai 2y ago
  I could see that affecting the trapezius muscle or nerve endings somehow. That seems to play a large role in many of my migraines. It probably does for others as it’s part of where the botox for migraine shots go. Ie when the pain shoots up through/along the side of the traps, along the backside of the ear, to the forehead and back of the eye. Reminds me of pinching the ear lobes during a migraine. That seemed to sort of help but not terribly. Nowadays nurtec/the cgrp protein inhibitors work wonders. But I’ll consider the piercings too.
- Gerardo1 2y ago
  Did you get the piercing because you expected it might help (and if that's the case, would you mind sharing why), or did you get the piercing just for aesthetics and then discovered it helped? I'm not looking to pick apart your story, just curious.
  - markx2 2y ago
    I got the piercing after reading something somewhere that a daith had helped someone else. I am no stranger to bodyart / piercings and I have a passing interest / experience in acupuncture / acupressure. So the idea it could help appeared worth a shot, so I went for it. I did not think "this will work", but hey, nothing ventured .. I would not describe a daith as an aesthetic piercing. It is very discreet so not a 'showing off' type. The placement also does not lend itself to changing the usual steel ball closure ring which is initially placed. I did not think through what I would do if it did not work because I am visibily modified and this extra was a nothing. My daughter has no bodyart. Standard ear-gun piercing, one in each ear. She took some convincing, but all I could say was "This worked for me, I'll pay, there is nothing to lose and much to gain". And it worked. What I do not know is "If I removed the metal, would I get migraines back?" and I'm not about to try. Here is something to try: My late wife would have bad headaches. If I squeezed the web between her big toe and the next one the pain would fade after a few minutes and if I continued the pain would stop.
    - p10_user 2y ago
      Wow pretty amazing. This seems to point very clearly to a muscle tension issue. The piercing into some area on your head may have helped some chronic tension to release, stopping the migraines.
- TaupeRanger 2y ago
  Could be an effective placebo for sure: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/can-unconventional-piercing-rid-migraine-pain https://health.clevelandclinic.org/can-unconventional-pierci...
  - markx2 2y ago
    As I said, there is no research. But there is also much anecdotal evidence it helps.
    - TaupeRanger 2y ago
      This is one of those areas where anecdotes can be quite valuable, because there seems to be no real downside risk to a piercing aside from the money spent and possible infection, but if there's even a .01% chance it could stop debilitating chronic pain, then sure, you might make a valid decision to try it even though there isn't a study supporting it.
      - reaperman 2y ago
        I tend to think in medical science that often anecdotes come first, then the "real" science. Not always populist anecdotes / wive's tales / etc, often times they come from nurses, doctors, or researchers of all kinds -- but sometimes they do come from sparse clusters of common folk sharing anecdotes with each other. Most do not pan out. But the "hard" science generally needs a spark of intuition to help someone decide "maybe I should look into this", whether it's naive citizens positing that a certain practice/diet/supplement seems to help one of their conditions, or doctors noticing a pattern with a handful of their own cases, or researchers noticing something interesting but unexpected in vitro. Again, most of these anecdotes don't pan out, but many do, and still today often against best-practice medical wisdom for systems we know less about. The human body is massively complicated, and we're still just dipping our toes in a lot of new frontiers, and there are some areas which are very difficult to formally study.
        balder1991 2y ago
- uptime 2y ago
  I had a monthly or quarterly migraine for years before getting some wisdom teeth pulled. Now it is almost never.
- legohead 2y ago
  I was diagnosed with cluster migraines, but I'm not convinced at that diagnosis, it didn't seem that severe. I used to get a migraine or two a month, and in allergy season it was even worse. My migraine were pure pain, I would literally think I was going to die, but I also knew I had been through it enough times that I would be okay. I'd also get full on allergy attacks (relevant in a minute), constant nose running - I'd stuff my nose with toilet paper and sit miserably, unable to focus or think clearly. Then I moved to another state, and haven't had an allergy attack since, and my migraines have mostly gone away. I get probably one real migraine a year, with smaller headaches maybe once a month. Nothing debilitating like before though. For me I think it was all allergy related, but specific allergies. The state I moved to is rated as having the same allergy levels, but yet I don't have these attacks or as many migraines anymore.
nunez 2y ago
As horrible as this accident is, this is also a testament to modern automotive safety. If this had happened in the 70s or 80s, they all would've been done for. I've seen reports of recent model year cars surviving these kinds of accidents while leaving their drivers unscathed.
- kbos87 2y ago
  My partner occasionally fawns over the idea of buying a vintage Jeep, "just to drive around town, not on the highways". Safety has always been my #1 point of pushback, and when we looked into what can happen even in a low speed accident without modern safety systems, that idea was put to rest pretty quickly.
  - nick7376182 2y ago
    Driving old cars, especially open top, can be a really fun, joyful activity! Risk manage it like any other high risk activity: plan ahead, pay attention, and be realistic about your ability.
    - kbos87 2y ago
      Fair point. There’s a balance to be had!
- didgeoridoo 2y ago
  My 8mo pregnant wife and 4yo daughter just walked away completely unscathed from a 40mph T-bone collision where the other driver blew a stop sign. Their car was hit so hard it spun around twice. The impact was directly into the driver side, where they were both sitting. By the time I got there barely 5 minutes later my daughter was sitting and joking with the police on scene. Found out later the VW Atlas essentially has armor plating in the side, which spread the side impact out from the door into the frame. Didn’t know that when we bought it, but we sure bought another one quick.
  - tsunamifury 2y ago

the-dude 2y ago

(2021) https://archive.is/hm5Ai https://archive.is/hm5Ai https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27554686 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27554686

sph 2y ago

What a well-written story. I don't have much to add, but I can say her humour or writing talent seems to be quite sharp for someone that feels she has not completely regained her mental faculties. Also the joke about opening a spa where she whacks stressed people with a bat so they find respite from our busy world: we already do that ourselves when we reach mental burnout. I did, and in some ways, I feel that years later, my mental sharpness is still not what it used to be. Perhaps burnout is as traumatic to the brain as a massive brain injury; certainly takes as long to heal from.

ianai 2y ago
It’s also a scene in the old movie “I heart Huckabees”. Great movie btw. https://youtu.be/9EilqfAIudI?si=ZIh4v4RmHQUf_WEL https://youtu.be/9EilqfAIudI?si=ZIh4v4RmHQUf_WEL
kayodelycaon 2y ago
> Perhaps burnout is as traumatic to the brain as a massive brain injury Wouldn’t surprise me. I had a massive psychotic break 5 years ago. I’m pretty sure it came with physical brain damage. My memory isn’t what it used to be. There are holes in it. Apparently some of it is so completely gone, I don’t know I’ve forgotten it. Usually I know if I forgot something because there is a dangling pointer to it. Brain damage feels distinctly different. The problems from being bipolar has very sharp lines in my brain. It’s known territory. Damage is foggy, indistinct. Things have definitely healed and I’m getting function and a few memories back. The foggy areas have mostly cleared up. It’s been an odd experience.
- echelon_musk 2y ago
  I often feel as if the brain is deliberately culling memories around psychotic episodes as a means for survival/optimisation. Either that or the memories are treated no differently by the brain. Because one remembers the time as being so significant it seems disproportionate for it to be forgotten. But this could just be what happens to all memories.
  - 2y ago

nprateem 2y ago

Is there a follow-up?

proaralyst 2y ago

This is a really interesting account. One thing I found myself wondering was how much is the shift in her caused by the TBI, and how much by the assertion that she and her family are mortal?

poszlem 2y ago

For some reason I found this line particularly funny and poignant: "But did you know that you can eat whole grains and still get hit by a truck?"

datascienced 2y ago
The smokers excuse eh!
anonzzzies 2y ago
As I get older, more and more people around me get ill and die: many of them super healthy, not smoking or drinking, sporty all their lives, wealthy, health food nuts and no family histories get diagnosed with cancer and heart disease. In my group more healthy than unhealthy receive terrible outcomes at too young an age. It seems indeed it is not fair; do not believe or think it is, there is no reason to do so. Oh and another one is: you can have cancer and still get hit by a truck. Or; statistics don’t mean so much if it’s you ‘winning’ that lottery.
- nunez 2y ago
  Another data point: We got a Peloton last year and have rode with lots of instructors. All of them are fit as hell. One of them had a stroke and another is battling breast cancer. Life waits for no one.
  - thiago_fm 2y ago
    Statistics are kinda pointless when you only have one life, just enjoy life and try to balance having some health as well. There are many studies that prove that having a healthy body (like not very obese) improves your lifespan. But going 5x to the gym a week, or a 6-pack has very little impact. So make sure you touch grass, have sometime to take care of your body but don't go extreme, it's a waste of time
- automatic6131 2y ago
  Yeah, important to realize healthy eating and exercise does something like reducing a 5% (say) chance of early severe sickness or death to a 2% chance. The exact numbers are definitely wrong but the size of the effect seems about right. Of course, the chance of death is always 100% in the end :^)

SillyUsername 2y ago

That reads as somebody experiencing PTSD in addition to the injury. The "am I me" and new perspective on work and life happens as a consequence of life altering tragedy.

antisthenes 2y ago
I have a similar injury and I'm honestly not sure how you can not have a PTSD with a brain injury of this magnitude. So there's no need to write "in addition to". The PTSD is part of the symptoms of this kind of injury. The first year was especially tough, with a lot of suicidal thoughts and constant self-doubt.
- SillyUsername 2y ago
  The "in addition to" was to note the change of behaviour she's noticed, not the fact you couldn't have PTSD after an injury. :) For example she mentions she forgets stuff (the injury probably) then also mentions about not feeling motivated (the PTSD).
- SillyUsername 2y ago
  For what it's worth, my son has this injury (severe brain trauma), approximately 30% of brain is non existent. He doesn't have PTSD as it happened when he was a baby along with a large number of complications. I got PTSD with all of the multiple surgeries (and wishing goodbyes), EVDs, shunts, life and death decisions, and witnessing near death on a few occasions for him over months. The only positive is I can see PTSD in other people from once having it myself, and it is heartbreaking because I know exactly what they are going through too.

lijok 2y ago

Amazing recount. I was fortunate to learn in 2018, at a relatively young age, that my mental faculties are the most precious thing I have in life (after my wife ofcourse). It was a very simple accident; chasing a high I let my bike get too fast going downhill on a wet road, a car on the other side was oncoming, I break, the back wheel slips out from under me, I hit my head on the road (with a helmet on). A bruised knee, elbow and shoulder, bit of pain, no damage to the bike, so I get up and continue. 15 minutes later I get home, a sharp migraine sets in, and suddenly, I realize, I can't remember how I got home. In fact, I can't remember most of last week. Luckily an MRI, an OK from a doctor and a couple of weeks later my memory returns and I'm no worse for the wear. In that moment, when I realized I couldn't recall how I got home, the worst panic I have ever had set in. I've had two close calls with drowning and was in a car crash in the past, and have never felt the panic I had felt in that moment, just sitting comfortably at home, realizing my brain no longer works. I wasn't scared I had a brain bleed or something and would die, I was scared I would lose my mental faculties. Since then my outlook on life has taken a complete turn. I've become a lot more cognizant of how I spend my time and what issues I engage with mentally. What we have is precious, it can dissapear in a second, on an otherwise perfect day.

FredPret 2y ago
Human cognition belongs on the timeline of significant events in the evolution of universe. We may be only in the tiniest of corners (for now), but probably nothing beats it in complexity (... for now).
- Helmut10001 2y ago
  If you ever observed animals, e.g. just observing how chickens socialize, it becomes absolutely clear that they have similar cognition and perception than humans.
  - Solvency 2y ago
    my 3 chickens have deep and complex social dynamics all while being able to pinpoint grains of quinoa off the ground faster than a robot while being able to spot the faintest outline of the tiniest potential threatening hawk 2 miles away in the sky, fully discerned from various crows flying around that don't phase them at all. their little brains are processing far more than me.

nunez 2y ago

This sounds like an head-on collision that happened on a high speed rural two-lane road with an impatient driver thinking they could complete a tight pass in time. I absolutely hate these roads, for this reason.

newaccount74 2y ago
It is possible that the idiot in the truck just didn't see the oncoming car. It baffles me often how distracted drivers just pull out somewhere and hit a car that would be impossible to miss if the driver bothered to look at all.
- littlekey 2y ago
  Possible, yes, but I know of a stretch of road that sounds identical to the one from the article. Single lane each way and the natural curve upward completely obscures your visibility of the opposing lane. There's "no passing" signage but I still see drivers continually pulling exactly the same maneuver going uphill and it's the most dangerous driving situation I can imagine.
bluecalm 2y ago
It's not the road's fault. It's the psycho drivers who attempt speeding or worse passing at speed who are the danger. May I suggest you redirect your hate? If enough of us do it maybe we will see some change in driver's behavior one day.
- randerson 2y ago
  There will always be psycho drivers on the roads. Road designers should take that into account and design roads that make it harder for psycho drivers to endanger others.
- nunez 2y ago
  It can absolutely be the road's fault. Why does a two lane rural road, often without a shoulder, often cutting through large swaths of unpredictable wildlife need to be rated for 70mph? I'm a cyclist and love walking. I've seen way too many drivers simply not give two fucks about pedestrians, cyclists or even other cars. I've seen way too many drivers pull out their phones at stoplights or on freeways where "nothing is going on". I've seen way too many drivers drive 30mph+ through parking lot spots thinking nothing of it. Meanwhile, public transportation initiatives and city landscapes get shot down and destroyed constantly in favor of adding "just one more lane" because people can't be arsed to drive 30mph and NEED 45mph stroads they can blast through at 60mph. Driving is one of the most dangerous activities we do on a daily basis and so many people treat it like absolutely nothing bad can happen. I hate it.

cqqxo4zV46cp 2y ago

Any updates on how she’s been going?

matthewaveryusa 2y ago
Here's her facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/hanaschank https://www.facebook.com/hanaschank She seems to be doing well and her writing and snark are on point. After reading her posts I'd wager 50% of you will think she's still brain-damaged and 50% will say she's never been in better shape -- such is the contemporary zeitgeist.
- hhjinks 2y ago
  She doesn't seem to have a (public) twitter account anymore, so I'm on the better shape side.

alexpotato 2y ago

Many years ago I read an article (which I can't seem to find) that had the following key points: - Very smart guy - Had some kind of blood circulatory issue so reduced oxygen to the brain - BUT was a very active cyclist so has very good cardio - due to both of the above, he was getting enough O2 to be functional but effectively had a lower IQ - circulatory issue was eventually identified and then corrected His comments (paraphrased): "Being less smart was kind of a blessing. Instead of getting frustrated when things weren't working when there were obvious solutions, my attitude changed to just accepting things. As soon as my circulatory issues where resolved, I went right back to being frustrated."

asystole 2y ago
Huh, interesting. Kind of a real-life Flowers for Algernon scenario.
ltbarcly3 2y ago
I believe it was a hn or reddit post, I remember it also.
- garyrob 2y ago
  Me too. I think it was on HN.
  - ltbarcly3 2y ago
    Found it, it was a blog 10 years ago. https://web.archive.org/web/20120508004058/http://garrysub.posterous.com/what-does-it-feel-like-to-be-stupid-an-anonym https://web.archive.org/web/20120508004058/http://garrysub.p...
homefree 2y ago
I remember that too - I think it was an HN comment, iirc he also had more empathy for less capable people as a result of having temporarily been less capable himself.
grecy 2y ago

m3kw9 2y ago

Paywalled, who’s got some snaps on the petro?

npilk 2y ago
https://archive.is/hm5Ai https://archive.is/hm5Ai
deleted 2y ago
[deleted]
coolspot 2y ago
Reading mode (iOS) also gets rid of the paywall.

btbuildem 2y ago

Long time ago I had a concussion resulting from a skiing accident. It wasn't immediately apparent, but it was severe enough that I lost my job and spent ten months on unemployment. For the worst of it I was stupid, I couldn't be funny, and I was overall greatly diminished as a person. Luckily, it wasn't as bad as concussions can get, and it faded with time. This type of injury terrifies me though, and from what I read about the long-term effects of Covid, I can't believe people are just going along with it as if it was a common cold. To lose my mental faculties, long-term, is prospect beyond depressing.

toss1 2y ago
IDK why you are getting downvoted. Evidently some Covid-deniers here? I hope you get better soon; no question losing your mind is terrifying. I'm watching it happen to my FIL, formerly a very sharp engineer and excellent writer, who can no longer even roll dice and move a gamepiece. Seems terrifying indeed.

Tuffgoose 2y ago

Perspective granted. A good reminder of how often I take basic cognitive function for granted and a reminder that we’re entirely dependent on this system our existence is wired into.

santoshalper 2y ago

Interesting that even in the middle of recovering, she was still such a strong writer. There are a few really excellent turns of phrase and gut punches in a pretty short article.

keybored 2y ago

The title says “the quiet mind”. This seems to allude to the temporary cessation of the discursive mind in (Buddhist) meditation. > When we return to New York I take the subway to doctor appointments. I don’t take out my phone, I just sit. My brain is quiet, which I find suspicious, but also soothing. Before the accident I went to yoga retreats and tried meditation. I said things like “I just need to unplug.” Apparently what I needed was to get hit by a truck. Perhaps I have discovered the secret to a peaceful mind, and it is traumatic brain injury. I fantasize about opening an expensive spa where busy people pay me money to whack them on the head with a baseball bat. Levity aside, I’ve never seen a master meditator discuss “quieting the mind” as a downside.

TheCleric 2y ago
I don't think they are saying it's a downside. Quite the opposite: "but also soothing." I think she means more "If this is the price I had to pay to get there, I'd rather have a noisy mind."
- deleted 2y ago
  [deleted]

wwilim 2y ago

My mom always used to say "if you want to be happy, get a lobotomy"

cbruns 2y ago

So much of this article resonates with me. Fortunately ours was not as horrific. Last year, my family was in a car crash while stopped at a stop sign. Someone from the crossing road veered off directly into my driver's side without slowing, about 40 mph. My pregnant wife and two year old daughter were in the back seat. My wife sustained a concussion and extreme anxiety about the condition of our unborn child for the remainder of the pregnancy. My nose was broken and face scarred. My daughter was physically unharmed. Everything she says about feeling like its important to tell people that you did nothing wrong, that it wasn't an 'accident' (oopsie, I almost killed your entire family!), that somehow you have to just keep on living your same life again and driving like this couldn't happen any minute ever again - I feel in my bones and don't think I will every be comfortable on the road or around cars ever again. The person that hit us fled and was not pursued or found. Sometimes I wonder if they ever get curious about what happened to us. Also, turns out uninsured motorist coverage only applies if you can prove they didn't have insurance, hah.

mckn1ght 2y ago
My todo list item to install driver cams has gone for way too long, I need to bump it up in priority. Hope you’re doing better.

CobaltFire 2y ago

I had a "moderate" TBI while in the military, and I'm actually dealing with a migraine today. I am absolutely less smart (however you want to phrase that) on the days I have a migraine. I can't quantify it, but I can say that on normal days I can do advanced math, etc. and on migraine days I just... can't understand it. It's like it just doesn't "click". It's fascinating and gives me profound empathy for those who don't have the mental faculties I do (on my good days).

duckman1 2y ago

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