4 ms·

I am sometimes so scared to imagine myself as a person without a home or without an understanding of what home is

• 01HNNWZ0MV43FF 3y ago
  I've always had a house but I can't remember a strong sense of feeling at home. I don't really like my family. In college I spent 3 years waiting for life to happen, and by the time I started to enjoy it I had to move out. Then I spent about 10 years just saving money at the first job that made me an offer. I've lived a very privileged and sheltered life but I'm in my 30s and never really lived anywhere on purpose or thought "ah I'm home". Even the house I live in now I hate. My next move will at least have a little intention to it.
• SenHeng 3y ago
  My father sold our first flat when I was around 13 or 14, then sold our second flat and moved into a rental unit while I was conscripted. When I got out, he had moved again while all my stuff was left at a relative's. It's partially about not having that physical destination to go to. It's partially about losing a connection to an environment where all my memories, good or bad, developed. It's also partially about just not having anywhere go back to. I could go live with my relatives (I did for 2 years) but it's not really 'my' home. I could go live with my father again but we're both too accustomed to living our own lives to want to live together again. I felt more 'at home' when I moved to Japan, whether living by myself or with roommates than I ever felt back home. There's nothing to go back to anymore. I tell my friends but few people really understand.