16 ms·

You don't know what the situation is. It's in your best interest to take a step back and really try to be in your coworker's shoes. There's many unknowns that

You don't know what the situation is. It's in your best interest to take a step back and really try to be in your coworker's shoes. There's many unknowns that explain everything. Despite your frustration, it's still not professional. You don't know what's going on. If you cannot empathize you're unqualified to be a software engineer and should pack up your stuff. It's not about you or a silly project everyone will forget about in a few years. Your coworker may be making up excuses because they don't want to share what's really going on with the rest of the team, especially if the other members are poking around. A close family member might be sick for all you know and management has enough heart to let their performance slide.

shrimp_emoji 3y ago
> If you cannot empathize you're unqualified to be a software engineer and should pack up your stuff. You've got "software engineer" and "HR lady" mixed up. Being able to code makes you qualified to be a software engineer; empathy is for all those other people whose brain doesn't have to remember what prvalues are and have enough room for social shit. Just because MBAs drilled into everyone's heads that fewer people should be able to do more stuff to justify lower staff counts doesn't make it true.
- infamouscow 3y ago
  I strongly disagree. I believe empathy as a core engineering value is universally shared amongst the best. [1][2][3] 1: https://www.tritondatacenter.com/blog/the-power-of-a-pronoun https://www.tritondatacenter.com/blog/the-power-of-a-pronoun 2: https://oxide.computer/principles https://oxide.computer/principles 3: https://illumos.topicbox.com/groups/developer/T1c9b33b1b2535ea4-Mb227a811b9961ca7dbe4d3ca https://illumos.topicbox.com/groups/developer/T1c9b33b1b2535...
tuckerpo 3y ago
> If you cannot empathize you're unqualified to be a software engineer and should pack up your stuff. I do mostly empathize with this person. I don't believe they are inherently lazy or malicious, and recognize that they're likely going through something in their personal life. I used to just observe from afar making the mental note that this person was sort of clocked out, but I care much more now that they're in a leadership position that is directly correlated to my career's success. Empathy in the inverse direction must also hold, people should feel bad about their own lack of output, creating a thankless burden of the rest of their team.

shrimp_emoji 3y ago

> If you cannot empathize you're unqualified to be a software engineer and should pack up your stuff. You've got "software engineer" and "HR lady" mixed up. Being able to code makes you qualified to be a software engineer; empathy is for all those other people whose brain doesn't have to remember what prvalues are and have enough room for social shit. Just because MBAs drilled into everyone's heads that fewer people should be able to do more stuff to justify lower staff counts doesn't make it true.

infamouscow 3y ago
I strongly disagree. I believe empathy as a core engineering value is universally shared amongst the best. [1][2][3] 1: https://www.tritondatacenter.com/blog/the-power-of-a-pronoun https://www.tritondatacenter.com/blog/the-power-of-a-pronoun 2: https://oxide.computer/principles https://oxide.computer/principles 3: https://illumos.topicbox.com/groups/developer/T1c9b33b1b2535ea4-Mb227a811b9961ca7dbe4d3ca https://illumos.topicbox.com/groups/developer/T1c9b33b1b2535...

tuckerpo 3y ago

> If you cannot empathize you're unqualified to be a software engineer and should pack up your stuff. I do mostly empathize with this person. I don't believe they are inherently lazy or malicious, and recognize that they're likely going through something in their personal life. I used to just observe from afar making the mental note that this person was sort of clocked out, but I care much more now that they're in a leadership position that is directly correlated to my career's success. Empathy in the inverse direction must also hold, people should feel bad about their own lack of output, creating a thankless burden of the rest of their team.