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It's hard to know what's good advice, but I don't think it's a good idea to be careless about dating. Realistically, after college it will be dramatically more

It's hard to know what's good advice, but I don't think it's a good idea to be careless about dating. Realistically, after college it will be dramatically more difficult to find someone. In retrospect, finding each other was probably the most important thing my wife and I did at school. Once you're an adult, things stop happening by default for you and you have to make them happen. So sure, don't obsess because that's off-putting, but also be strategic about what's important to you (unfortunately the time to do that is probably when picking a school, assuming you have the luxury to do that). Rates of unmarried people are on a steep increase[0]. If a family is important to you, go somewhere where that's more likely to happen (e.g. good dating odds, other people with similar goals). The bay area is probably not that place for either sex. [0] https://www.census.gov/library/visualizations/2021/comm/never-married-on-the-rise.html https://www.census.gov/library/visualizations/2021/comm/neve...

_zn8u 3y ago
I'm really happy that you found the love of your life! I'm not saying you should be careless, but I am saying that the way you put in effort is by having good, healthy relationships with others around you. I think the kid needs guidance and mentorship on how to become a self-confident person more than anything. Completely agreed that it is harder to find people to meet. But also, the people you meet in your late 20s/early 30s will be much more mature than those you meet earlier in life, so it's not all bad. Gender skew is a very serious problem -- but the student is primarily in need of guidance about self-confidence. And again, some comments have pointed out that there are more women at Berkeley than men.
- ndriscoll 3y ago
  Tbh the commenter offering to pay for friends suggests something a little more serious going on than just bad social skills, but who knows. It's not just about gender ratios though. In some areas, girls have no qualms about pursuing a Mrs degree in engineering; it's a practical way to achieve their goals and find a happy life. In the bay, you might find yourself on a petition to be fired if you suggest that a wise strategy for a boy who wants to pursue engineering and wants to find "marriage material" might be to find a school with the type of girls who are pursuing their Mrs in engineering.

_zn8u 3y ago

I'm really happy that you found the love of your life! I'm not saying you should be careless, but I am saying that the way you put in effort is by having good, healthy relationships with others around you. I think the kid needs guidance and mentorship on how to become a self-confident person more than anything. Completely agreed that it is harder to find people to meet. But also, the people you meet in your late 20s/early 30s will be much more mature than those you meet earlier in life, so it's not all bad. Gender skew is a very serious problem -- but the student is primarily in need of guidance about self-confidence. And again, some comments have pointed out that there are more women at Berkeley than men.

ndriscoll 3y ago
Tbh the commenter offering to pay for friends suggests something a little more serious going on than just bad social skills, but who knows. It's not just about gender ratios though. In some areas, girls have no qualms about pursuing a Mrs degree in engineering; it's a practical way to achieve their goals and find a happy life. In the bay, you might find yourself on a petition to be fired if you suggest that a wise strategy for a boy who wants to pursue engineering and wants to find "marriage material" might be to find a school with the type of girls who are pursuing their Mrs in engineering.