4 ms·

I think a serious, mature comment would have provided at least one citation about gender ratios, and would have treated this as a systemic problem rather than c

by _zn8u 3y ago

I think a serious, mature comment would have provided at least one citation about gender ratios, and would have treated this as a systemic problem rather than commenting on any individual or group's behavior. A serious comment would have also included an exhortation to the student to get their act together and stop thinking of life in terms of "looking for a girlfriend" -- the student he was replying to comes off as in some serious need of self-confidence, something that most well-adjusted people seek out in a partner.

lylejantzi3rd 3y ago
This was an answer to a question on a social media site. Why are you expecting citations? You haven't given any in this conversation. Should I not be taking your comments seriously? > would have treated this as a systemic problem rather than commenting on any individual or group's behavior. All systemic problems of the kind you're talking about involve the behavior of a specific group. Otherwise, you're talking about, what? All humans? All mammals? How is that useful to a guy trying to find a girl? > get their act together and stop thinking of life in terms of "looking for a girlfriend" What motivation do most men use to get their act together? Women. That's not a bad thing. It's human nature. > the student he was replying to comes off as in some serious need of self-confidence, something that most well-adjusted people seek out in a partner. And you don't think moving to an area where it's easier to get a date is going to help with that?
- _zn8u 3y ago
  To be clear, it was not an answer to a question. It was a reply to a commenter (not the OP) dumping on an unrelated question about job advice. At no point did anyone ask for dating advice. > All systemic problems of the kind you're talking about involve the behavior of a specific group. Otherwise, you're talking about, what? All humans? All mammals? How is that useful to a guy trying to find a girl? You're not wrong at some level, but phrasing matters a lot when you're talking about sensitive topics like this! Someone commenting on "stark" differences in "behavior" comes off as much more of a creep than someone making the more general point that it can be harder to find someone with a gender skew. By the way, the idea of a gender skew has been disputed -- apparently, Berkeley has more female students than male ones. You can find other comments pointing that out. > What motivation do most men use to get their act together? Women. That's not a bad thing. It's human nature. I don't think that's true -- I've never heard any of my male friends say they were inspired by anything like that. Even if it is the case, it doesn't seem that much like human nature. Personally speaking, the idea of getting my act together so I can find a partner is completely alien to me. My main motivation for getting my act together has been so I can fulfill my responsibilities to the people (and animal) I care for.
  - lylejantzi3rd 3y ago
    > it was not an answer to a question. > reply to a commenter (not the OP) dumping on an unrelated question about job advice. Still an answer to a question. Do you see the direction this keeps going? You keep contradicting yourself. > Someone commenting on "stark" differences in "behavior" comes off And what does that matter? Do you think if he quoted some research it would have "come off" better? It wouldn't have. You fail to grasp why some people have an issue with what the professor said. It has nothing to do with how he said it. > I've never heard any of my male friends say they were inspired by anything like that Procreation is one of the if not THE major motivating factor in human behavior. I'm sure I could find a couple of dozen citations for that, if you'd like.
dotcoma 3y ago
He posted a few lines on an internet forum; it was not a PhD dissertation.
- _zn8u 3y ago
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  - ryandrake 3y ago
    You should have posted that link as a top level comment, because it speaks to this guy's character (if true). I was going to defend the statement, as everyone has heard the tongue-in-cheek phrase "Man Jose" ridiculing the area's gender gap, but I won't defend the guy.
  - nec4b 3y ago
    >> right-wing American Here we go. At least you came out of your shell and told us what's really bothering you.

by _zn8u 3y ago

lylejantzi3rd 3y ago

This was an answer to a question on a social media site. Why are you expecting citations? You haven't given any in this conversation. Should I not be taking your comments seriously? > would have treated this as a systemic problem rather than commenting on any individual or group's behavior. All systemic problems of the kind you're talking about involve the behavior of a specific group. Otherwise, you're talking about, what? All humans? All mammals? How is that useful to a guy trying to find a girl? > get their act together and stop thinking of life in terms of "looking for a girlfriend" What motivation do most men use to get their act together? Women. That's not a bad thing. It's human nature. > the student he was replying to comes off as in some serious need of self-confidence, something that most well-adjusted people seek out in a partner. And you don't think moving to an area where it's easier to get a date is going to help with that?

_zn8u 3y ago
To be clear, it was not an answer to a question. It was a reply to a commenter (not the OP) dumping on an unrelated question about job advice. At no point did anyone ask for dating advice. > All systemic problems of the kind you're talking about involve the behavior of a specific group. Otherwise, you're talking about, what? All humans? All mammals? How is that useful to a guy trying to find a girl? You're not wrong at some level, but phrasing matters a lot when you're talking about sensitive topics like this! Someone commenting on "stark" differences in "behavior" comes off as much more of a creep than someone making the more general point that it can be harder to find someone with a gender skew. By the way, the idea of a gender skew has been disputed -- apparently, Berkeley has more female students than male ones. You can find other comments pointing that out. > What motivation do most men use to get their act together? Women. That's not a bad thing. It's human nature. I don't think that's true -- I've never heard any of my male friends say they were inspired by anything like that. Even if it is the case, it doesn't seem that much like human nature. Personally speaking, the idea of getting my act together so I can find a partner is completely alien to me. My main motivation for getting my act together has been so I can fulfill my responsibilities to the people (and animal) I care for.
- lylejantzi3rd 3y ago
  > it was not an answer to a question. > reply to a commenter (not the OP) dumping on an unrelated question about job advice. Still an answer to a question. Do you see the direction this keeps going? You keep contradicting yourself. > Someone commenting on "stark" differences in "behavior" comes off And what does that matter? Do you think if he quoted some research it would have "come off" better? It wouldn't have. You fail to grasp why some people have an issue with what the professor said. It has nothing to do with how he said it. > I've never heard any of my male friends say they were inspired by anything like that Procreation is one of the if not THE major motivating factor in human behavior. I'm sure I could find a couple of dozen citations for that, if you'd like.

dotcoma 3y ago

He posted a few lines on an internet forum; it was not a PhD dissertation.

_zn8u 3y ago
[dead]
- ryandrake 3y ago
  You should have posted that link as a top level comment, because it speaks to this guy's character (if true). I was going to defend the statement, as everyone has heard the tongue-in-cheek phrase "Man Jose" ridiculing the area's gender gap, but I won't defend the guy.
- nec4b 3y ago
  >> right-wing American Here we go. At least you came out of your shell and told us what's really bothering you.