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> Your personality, skills, likes, and dislikes change over time Not true about personality: if you experienced a serious trauma at a young age, most likely y

> Your personality, skills, likes, and dislikes change over time Not true about personality: if you experienced a serious trauma at a young age, most likely you will remain traumatized forever. If you were a manipulative child, most likely you will remain the same at adulthood: the only change you will see in yourself is that now you are a malignant narcissist with a job attracting people like you. Not only the core of your personality remains the same, but you also can easily notice that most of your behaviors and feelings are those of your parents. And you will transmit many of your personality traits to your kids. This article ignores fundamentals of biology, inheritance and determinism (Robert Sapolsky)

bearika 3y ago
I came here, also, to comment on complex trauma. However, I have a different take. Formerly traumatized children, even those with treatment-resistant personality disorders, can improve how they work with their system through therapy. Experiential therapies like IFS are proving to be groundbreaking modalities with great outcomes. They also reframe the goal: the goal is not to heal, but to understand, work with, and create space between the self and the system that creates automatic responses to the world at large. In doing so, one expands their window of tolerance over time. I actually found this article to be very inline with trauma healing and my own personal experience of healing complex-PTSD.
thesuperbigfrog 3y ago
>> if you experienced a serious trauma at a young age, most likely you will remain traumatized forever. This is exactly what the article is arguing against--letting one's past block the present mind from reaching toward the goals of the future self: "Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished." A person traumatized at a young age can overcome it. In fact, therapy and healing demand introspection and decision: "Am I going to let this trauma define me?" The dialectic view of oneself is to accept that the past event happened while choosing to overcome it in all ways that are possible. "Taking ownership of your future self" is an excellent description of the idea and how it can empower people to make better choices and move forward toward their goals and who they want to be.
snapcaster 3y ago
I don't fully disagree (lots of people never change) but I've experienced (what appear to me at least) to be significant changes to my behavior that have now been sustained for a long period of time (many years). How can you square your comment with people like me who seem to have done it? Am I mistaken on actually changing, like it's all environment or something?
someguydave 3y ago
If you (rightly) think that personality is largely inherited, how could childhood trauma be so important?
theGnuMe 3y ago
You can break the cycle.

bearika 3y ago

I came here, also, to comment on complex trauma. However, I have a different take. Formerly traumatized children, even those with treatment-resistant personality disorders, can improve how they work with their system through therapy. Experiential therapies like IFS are proving to be groundbreaking modalities with great outcomes. They also reframe the goal: the goal is not to heal, but to understand, work with, and create space between the self and the system that creates automatic responses to the world at large. In doing so, one expands their window of tolerance over time. I actually found this article to be very inline with trauma healing and my own personal experience of healing complex-PTSD.

thesuperbigfrog 3y ago

>> if you experienced a serious trauma at a young age, most likely you will remain traumatized forever. This is exactly what the article is arguing against--letting one's past block the present mind from reaching toward the goals of the future self: "Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished." A person traumatized at a young age can overcome it. In fact, therapy and healing demand introspection and decision: "Am I going to let this trauma define me?" The dialectic view of oneself is to accept that the past event happened while choosing to overcome it in all ways that are possible. "Taking ownership of your future self" is an excellent description of the idea and how it can empower people to make better choices and move forward toward their goals and who they want to be.

snapcaster 3y ago

I don't fully disagree (lots of people never change) but I've experienced (what appear to me at least) to be significant changes to my behavior that have now been sustained for a long period of time (many years). How can you square your comment with people like me who seem to have done it? Am I mistaken on actually changing, like it's all environment or something?

someguydave 3y ago

If you (rightly) think that personality is largely inherited, how could childhood trauma be so important?

theGnuMe 3y ago

You can break the cycle.