I don't think it's a cut and dry issue. Many, if not most jobs/contracts put you in a very awkward position of dealing with something or someone who is incompet

I don't think it's a cut and dry issue. Many, if not most jobs/contracts put you in a very awkward position of dealing with something or someone who is incompetent, unfair, etc. I don't see a normal human reaction to that as being a personal or professional failure. It's unfortunate, but I think that rather than necessarily just being better at suppressing your natural reactions, the takeaway might be to try harder to get better colleagues. Easier said than done though.