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If someone could make an AI that interviews people and then goes out and finds them matches, that would be a god send. Right now the hardest part of online dat

If someone could make an AI that interviews people and then goes out and finds them matches, that would be a god send. Right now the hardest part of online dating is just getting a conversation going. Women have far too many choices and men have none. Women need AI to show them who they would best get along with. Men need AI to get women to talk to them.

bruce343434 3y ago
Two black box AIs duking it out to see if their users would be compatible for mating... What a time to be alive. How about this: people need to fucking go outside, get hobbies, meet real people in the real world.
- hn_throwaway_99 3y ago
  Meet people in the real world?? And like talk to them? Scary!!
  - doublerabbit 3y ago
    Not scary but hard when your niches are not exactly the 1%. I can talk untech and talk tech. But what the hell am I suppose to do to meet those where I'm a goth who uses FreeBSD, goes for evening strolls picking up litter for enjoyment, cynical enough that wants to see the earth burn while an environmentalist who has a dream of opening an animal sanctuary? Goes to the gym, sword fences and finds most of life bullshit oh and also a sword fencer and fire juggler? Has his shit together, mortgage and 35? Next up: HN dating.
    - hn_throwaway_99 3y ago
      > Not scary but hard when your niches are not exactly the 1%. I'll be a little blunt. You're not (and almost none us are) as much as a special snowflake as you may believe. Nearly everyone has unique and niche interests. But more importantly, your post seems to propose the idea that we should all be interested in the same things as our romantic partners. Where does this idea come from? Sure, I think it's important to share some things you like to do together, but I think it's much more important to share the same value system and ideals. Hobbies are just details. I don't care if my partner sword fences or not, but I do care that they can see it's important to me, and cares enough about my happiness to know that I should seek out and do the things I love.
      - doublerabbit 3y ago
        Of course. I'm not wanting nor advertising nor where everything much match 100% in common. That would be silly. I was just making a figure of speech that my interests, are those which are not topic of conversation that you would have at a bar or tavern nor really any other place were you would socialise to court. If the other party cannot resonate with the other persons hobbies or interests than as much care and love you give, it won't last; I'm just happy with fun and personality if I were to scrap all above. But I still hold belief that of if there are not mutual interests between one and another then the relationship cant grow. I don't disagree. Love and Care are ever so important; they are the basics to form the spark, to light the candle, however. The other party are too needing to be ready to engage in the passions you enjoy and that to share my passions I would need to take interest in vice versa. Incompatibilities are true and its not a percentage. Would you be ready to play with fire? Go out on cold wet rainy night with a litter picker and carry a dripping wet trash bag ring? Listen to me ramble on how I've configured vtnet jails which allows me to host jailed bhyve VMs? Because for me, the personality type I am is someone who would like to do them with me. The same goes for me if I was to be in a relationship I would like to do what you would want to do too. Compiling kernels till 2am and then going litter picking is my idea of fun. If not dorky. Not everything is going to gel but the comprise is to find an equal balance you both enjoy. That however only comes from an established relationship, which is hard when you don't connect and they don't give you the benefit of the doubt. My gripe is that when it comes to IT unless your kitted in the IT world its boring as * to anyone else. Goth is a niche outlet, stomping boots and wearing black isn't everyones taste and fire spinning is out there but fencing is an commitment. I don't hold the "woe is me, single forever" maturity. Life is too short for that. It will either will, or it won't. It's hard and depressing at times but hey, I'm proud of what I have interests in.
    - deleted 3y ago
      [deleted]
    - freejazz 3y ago
      If you can only talk about your own niche interests, then you aren't as interesting as you think you are
      - doublerabbit 3y ago
        I'm ever happy to talk about many things and happy to listen to anyone. That's not the problem. It's not talking, it's more in generalities of what I enjoy is what is the niche. One story is that I was in Canada recently and was talking to a bloke on the bench listening to how he was kicked out and someone cheated on his wife. Although, whether to believe these stories is another thing. Sometimes people just want to be herd.
        freejazz 3y ago
        If you can relate to others, how is having niche interests a relationship problem for you?
        doublerabbit 3y ago
        Because those who I meet don't want to share the same interests as me. The relationship isn't the problem. The meeting is.
        freejazz 3y ago
        Why do you expect people who you meet, who you are not in a relationship with, to share your interests? You don't need to share interests to talk about them, as you already pointed out. I remain confused by you and your alleged problem.
    - red-iron-pine 3y ago
      reminds me of the igotstandardsbro site about finding dudes of a certain income level, body mass, and height. the point of the site is that when you put your preferences in it's like 0.9% of the population. in that vein, what you're looking for is like 0.1%, and they may already be married. you're better off learning how to relate to the normies than holding out hope for any of that.
    - deleted 3y ago
      [deleted]
  - deleted 3y ago
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- ilikehurdles 3y ago
  Those are proven ways to build lasting relationships while living a fulfilling life. That's incompatible with dating apps. Tech founders need repeat subscribers. They want to dangle the possibility of love as if it's a jackpot atop the slot machine in the casino. Sometimes someone wins, but the goal is to get as many people as possible to believe that can be them if only they keep spinning the wheel as many times as possible in a gamified caricature of dating.
  - jprete 3y ago
    I can't understand how anyone thinks we're capable of aligning AGI when we can't even align tech founders. Corporations are a proto-AGI, and they're the least aligned entities I can think of.
  - tempoponet 3y ago
    Divorce rates were skyrocketing before online dating became mainstream, so I'd challenge your statement that meeting IRL "build(s) lasting relationships while living a fulfilling life". The truth is most people are meeting their spouses in the apps, as painful as it is. Bars are far worse for most people, and many people don't want to get hit on at the gym, while running errands, or at their job.
- Applejinx 3y ago
  That was actually one of the better Black Mirror episodes. Wouldn't want to be those avatars, mind you.
swozey 3y ago
[flagged]
- deprecative 3y ago
  That's clearly not what they meant. Don't be needlessly pedantic.
  - swozey 3y ago
    [flagged]
    - _RedPanda 3y ago
      [flagged]
      - deleted 3y ago
        [deleted]
- SeanAnderson 3y ago
  https://www.businessofapps.com/data/tinder-statistics/ https://www.businessofapps.com/data/tinder-statistics/ > Three quarters of Tinder users are male OP was being extreme by saying none, but there is an imbalance.
  - swozey 3y ago
    [flagged]
    - junon 3y ago
      [flagged]
      - deleted 3y ago
        [deleted]
narrator 3y ago
Then the AI says, we've figured out with 98% certainty that you're going to be alone for the rest of your life. Would you like to learn more about MAID?
- TIPSIO 3y ago
  Hilarious but something like this would be ridiculously easy to game.
therealfiona 3y ago
> Women need AI to show them who they would best get along with. Is that what women need?
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
- Workaccount2 3y ago
  Yes, because when you are getting 100 matches an hour on dating apps, an AI that can perform triage for you would be incredibly valuable.
blehn 3y ago
Black Mirror did it already.
klyrs 3y ago
> Women have far too many choices and men have none. So many of my girlfriends are single... this is not how I would phrase the issue. By and large, men are looking to get laid, women are looking to get serious. If a woman only wants to get laid, sure, the world is her oyster as long as she's young and conventionally attractive. If a man wants to get serious... he's gotta differentiate himself against the hordes of guys out there who just wanna get laid (many of whom present themselves as serious). I've been doing this online dating thing since... well, I met my first romantic partner on a BBS. It seems to me that what men and women want has significantly diverged over time. So when you conclude, > Women need AI to show them who they would best get along with. Men need AI to get women to talk to them. I gotta say, nah. We don't "need" those things. Technology is not bringing us closer; I think that it is significantly responsible for this divergence. What we need to do, I believe, is return to meatspace.
- Workaccount2 3y ago
  The problem women have is that they get a tsunami of likes and it is up to them to figure out who is serious and who is just casting a wide net. When you have 2000 guys in your inbox, it's hopeless to try an find the right guy (who also isn't the "right guy" for every other woman).
  - klyrs 3y ago
    Way to miss my point and tell me about my problems... I'm tellin ya, meatspace also has thousands of dudes, their number isn't the problem. It's the underlying premise, that we should rely on technology for matchmaking and socialization in general. If we go with your approach, prompt engineers will float to the surface. Which probably sounds great to so many dudes here, but it still ain't what most women want.
Simulacra 3y ago
That is the destructive power of dating apps. They present you with the illusion of unlimited choice. Why swipe right on this person, when there's surely someone better just a few later. The apps have distilled dating - finding a partner or just getting laid - to a decision made in seconds with generally only a photo and a few catch words. The apps have done to dating what social media has done to attention spans.
freejazz 3y ago
Men have no dating options? That's news to me
- bitcharmer 3y ago
  You're trolling, right?
  - freejazz 3y ago
    Absolutely not. What I'm doing is going on a 3rd date tonight and have a sea of other matches on Hinge...
chriscjcj 3y ago
I think Benjamin Chiang and his very new startup Volar are kind of trying to accomplish something along the lines of what you're describing. I think the way it works is you have a conversation with a chatbot about many topics. That generates a sort of "AI representation" of yourself. Then, that "AI representation" has conversations with "AI representations" of other people. If it finds people who it thinks are compatible, a transcript of that "conversation" is sent to both parties for review and then they can decide to interact for real if they want. https://www.volardating.com/ https://www.volardating.com/ Here's an interview with the founder. (You have to fast-forward to the 10-minute mark.) https://abc7news.com/14425374/ https://abc7news.com/14425374/ Also this: https://abc7news.com/14426891/ https://abc7news.com/14426891/

bruce343434 3y ago

Two black box AIs duking it out to see if their users would be compatible for mating... What a time to be alive. How about this: people need to fucking go outside, get hobbies, meet real people in the real world.

hn_throwaway_99 3y ago
Meet people in the real world?? And like talk to them? Scary!!
- doublerabbit 3y ago
  Not scary but hard when your niches are not exactly the 1%. I can talk untech and talk tech. But what the hell am I suppose to do to meet those where I'm a goth who uses FreeBSD, goes for evening strolls picking up litter for enjoyment, cynical enough that wants to see the earth burn while an environmentalist who has a dream of opening an animal sanctuary? Goes to the gym, sword fences and finds most of life bullshit oh and also a sword fencer and fire juggler? Has his shit together, mortgage and 35? Next up: HN dating.
  - hn_throwaway_99 3y ago
    > Not scary but hard when your niches are not exactly the 1%. I'll be a little blunt. You're not (and almost none us are) as much as a special snowflake as you may believe. Nearly everyone has unique and niche interests. But more importantly, your post seems to propose the idea that we should all be interested in the same things as our romantic partners. Where does this idea come from? Sure, I think it's important to share some things you like to do together, but I think it's much more important to share the same value system and ideals. Hobbies are just details. I don't care if my partner sword fences or not, but I do care that they can see it's important to me, and cares enough about my happiness to know that I should seek out and do the things I love.
    - doublerabbit 3y ago
      Of course. I'm not wanting nor advertising nor where everything much match 100% in common. That would be silly. I was just making a figure of speech that my interests, are those which are not topic of conversation that you would have at a bar or tavern nor really any other place were you would socialise to court. If the other party cannot resonate with the other persons hobbies or interests than as much care and love you give, it won't last; I'm just happy with fun and personality if I were to scrap all above. But I still hold belief that of if there are not mutual interests between one and another then the relationship cant grow. I don't disagree. Love and Care are ever so important; they are the basics to form the spark, to light the candle, however. The other party are too needing to be ready to engage in the passions you enjoy and that to share my passions I would need to take interest in vice versa. Incompatibilities are true and its not a percentage. Would you be ready to play with fire? Go out on cold wet rainy night with a litter picker and carry a dripping wet trash bag ring? Listen to me ramble on how I've configured vtnet jails which allows me to host jailed bhyve VMs? Because for me, the personality type I am is someone who would like to do them with me. The same goes for me if I was to be in a relationship I would like to do what you would want to do too. Compiling kernels till 2am and then going litter picking is my idea of fun. If not dorky. Not everything is going to gel but the comprise is to find an equal balance you both enjoy. That however only comes from an established relationship, which is hard when you don't connect and they don't give you the benefit of the doubt. My gripe is that when it comes to IT unless your kitted in the IT world its boring as * to anyone else. Goth is a niche outlet, stomping boots and wearing black isn't everyones taste and fire spinning is out there but fencing is an commitment. I don't hold the "woe is me, single forever" maturity. Life is too short for that. It will either will, or it won't. It's hard and depressing at times but hey, I'm proud of what I have interests in.
  - deleted 3y ago
    [deleted]
  - freejazz 3y ago
    If you can only talk about your own niche interests, then you aren't as interesting as you think you are
    - doublerabbit 3y ago
      I'm ever happy to talk about many things and happy to listen to anyone. That's not the problem. It's not talking, it's more in generalities of what I enjoy is what is the niche. One story is that I was in Canada recently and was talking to a bloke on the bench listening to how he was kicked out and someone cheated on his wife. Although, whether to believe these stories is another thing. Sometimes people just want to be herd.
      - freejazz 3y ago
        If you can relate to others, how is having niche interests a relationship problem for you?
        doublerabbit 3y ago
        Because those who I meet don't want to share the same interests as me. The relationship isn't the problem. The meeting is.
        freejazz 3y ago
        Why do you expect people who you meet, who you are not in a relationship with, to share your interests? You don't need to share interests to talk about them, as you already pointed out. I remain confused by you and your alleged problem.
  - red-iron-pine 3y ago
    reminds me of the igotstandardsbro site about finding dudes of a certain income level, body mass, and height. the point of the site is that when you put your preferences in it's like 0.9% of the population. in that vein, what you're looking for is like 0.1%, and they may already be married. you're better off learning how to relate to the normies than holding out hope for any of that.
  - deleted 3y ago
    [deleted]
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
ilikehurdles 3y ago
Those are proven ways to build lasting relationships while living a fulfilling life. That's incompatible with dating apps. Tech founders need repeat subscribers. They want to dangle the possibility of love as if it's a jackpot atop the slot machine in the casino. Sometimes someone wins, but the goal is to get as many people as possible to believe that can be them if only they keep spinning the wheel as many times as possible in a gamified caricature of dating.
- jprete 3y ago
  I can't understand how anyone thinks we're capable of aligning AGI when we can't even align tech founders. Corporations are a proto-AGI, and they're the least aligned entities I can think of.
- tempoponet 3y ago
  Divorce rates were skyrocketing before online dating became mainstream, so I'd challenge your statement that meeting IRL "build(s) lasting relationships while living a fulfilling life". The truth is most people are meeting their spouses in the apps, as painful as it is. Bars are far worse for most people, and many people don't want to get hit on at the gym, while running errands, or at their job.
Applejinx 3y ago
That was actually one of the better Black Mirror episodes. Wouldn't want to be those avatars, mind you.

swozey 3y ago

[flagged]

deprecative 3y ago
That's clearly not what they meant. Don't be needlessly pedantic.
- swozey 3y ago
  [flagged]
  - _RedPanda 3y ago
    [flagged]
    - deleted 3y ago
      [deleted]
SeanAnderson 3y ago
https://www.businessofapps.com/data/tinder-statistics/ https://www.businessofapps.com/data/tinder-statistics/ > Three quarters of Tinder users are male OP was being extreme by saying none, but there is an imbalance.
- swozey 3y ago
  [flagged]
  - junon 3y ago
    [flagged]
    - deleted 3y ago
      [deleted]

narrator 3y ago

Then the AI says, we've figured out with 98% certainty that you're going to be alone for the rest of your life. Would you like to learn more about MAID?

TIPSIO 3y ago
Hilarious but something like this would be ridiculously easy to game.

therealfiona 3y ago

> Women need AI to show them who they would best get along with. Is that what women need?

deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
Workaccount2 3y ago
Yes, because when you are getting 100 matches an hour on dating apps, an AI that can perform triage for you would be incredibly valuable.

blehn 3y ago

Black Mirror did it already.

klyrs 3y ago

> Women have far too many choices and men have none. So many of my girlfriends are single... this is not how I would phrase the issue. By and large, men are looking to get laid, women are looking to get serious. If a woman only wants to get laid, sure, the world is her oyster as long as she's young and conventionally attractive. If a man wants to get serious... he's gotta differentiate himself against the hordes of guys out there who just wanna get laid (many of whom present themselves as serious). I've been doing this online dating thing since... well, I met my first romantic partner on a BBS. It seems to me that what men and women want has significantly diverged over time. So when you conclude, > Women need AI to show them who they would best get along with. Men need AI to get women to talk to them. I gotta say, nah. We don't "need" those things. Technology is not bringing us closer; I think that it is significantly responsible for this divergence. What we need to do, I believe, is return to meatspace.

Workaccount2 3y ago
The problem women have is that they get a tsunami of likes and it is up to them to figure out who is serious and who is just casting a wide net. When you have 2000 guys in your inbox, it's hopeless to try an find the right guy (who also isn't the "right guy" for every other woman).
- klyrs 3y ago
  Way to miss my point and tell me about my problems... I'm tellin ya, meatspace also has thousands of dudes, their number isn't the problem. It's the underlying premise, that we should rely on technology for matchmaking and socialization in general. If we go with your approach, prompt engineers will float to the surface. Which probably sounds great to so many dudes here, but it still ain't what most women want.

Simulacra 3y ago

That is the destructive power of dating apps. They present you with the illusion of unlimited choice. Why swipe right on this person, when there's surely someone better just a few later. The apps have distilled dating - finding a partner or just getting laid - to a decision made in seconds with generally only a photo and a few catch words. The apps have done to dating what social media has done to attention spans.

freejazz 3y ago

Men have no dating options? That's news to me

bitcharmer 3y ago
You're trolling, right?
- freejazz 3y ago
  Absolutely not. What I'm doing is going on a 3rd date tonight and have a sea of other matches on Hinge...

chriscjcj 3y ago

I think Benjamin Chiang and his very new startup Volar are kind of trying to accomplish something along the lines of what you're describing. I think the way it works is you have a conversation with a chatbot about many topics. That generates a sort of "AI representation" of yourself. Then, that "AI representation" has conversations with "AI representations" of other people. If it finds people who it thinks are compatible, a transcript of that "conversation" is sent to both parties for review and then they can decide to interact for real if they want. https://www.volardating.com/ https://www.volardating.com/ Here's an interview with the founder. (You have to fast-forward to the 10-minute mark.) https://abc7news.com/14425374/ https://abc7news.com/14425374/ Also this: https://abc7news.com/14426891/ https://abc7news.com/14426891/