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Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out
- newsclues 3y agoHanging out with people glued to phones is boring
- houseatrielah 3y agoThat's what sober people say about hanging out with those imbibing. You're not wrong tho.
- rhapsodic 3y ago[dead]
- maerF0x0 3y agoAddiction is the perfect comparison here.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- oortoo 3y agoSome substances at least make people more social or more engaged and empathetic. Any drug that makes someone stare at their lap and not respond to outside stimulus is probably bad for social settings. I don't do drugs (anymore) but I enjoy hanging out with people who can use drugs and be social.
- teaearlgraycold 3y agoKetamine?
- jjulius 3y agoAre you asking about this with regards to it being used socially? Depends on the environment and the people obviously, but in the places I'm exposed to it (underground electronic music events) I know many people who are still able to function socially while using it. Yes they're high, but they don't consume enough to fall into a k-hole.
- jjulius 3y agoHuh? Careful with those absolutes. I've been sober for seven years now and don't find this statement to be the case for me. I enjoy hanging around both sober and non-sober folk alike. Hell, I regularly have a blast on packed dancefloors surrounded by incredibly inebriated folk, both friends and strangers, very late into the night. Everyone's different.
- teaearlgraycold 3y agoMy friends don’t do that though. Lots of people don’t. I spend time on my phone, but mostly when on the train or procrastinating going to sleep.
- ryandrake 3y agoYou nailed it. I've kind of stopped having get-togethers at my house (either for friends or family) because people show up, do a brief normal-human greeting interaction, and inevitably eventually sit down and just kind of zombie out scrolling their phones. Despite efforts to strike up conversation, play a board game or whatever, people just can't put the fucking things down for even 5 minutes, let alone enough time to do some actual activity or talk. I tried to do movie night, but people are on the goddamn phones before the opening credits are even done. As a host, it's pointless--you almost have to dance around like a monkey to just get someone to look up. Same problem with going out to eat with friends at restaurants.
- hollerith 3y agoHave you considered collecting everyone's phone when they arrive only giving them back when they leave?
- ryandrake 3y agoHonestly, I wish that could become a cultural norm. As things are now it would be a kind of awkward request, but I bet it would really help if it were acceptable.
- ozim 3y agoI think norm should be asking people to leave if they cannot put the phone down.
- c22 3y agoUsually when people are staring at their phone while we're hanging out I pull out my phone and send them a text message.
- dylan604 3y agoMake it understood that it's a theme party. As long as it's not a surprise on arrival. Promote it on the socials when you do the invite. It's not like you invite people individually anymore either. Its the 2020s, gamify that shit!
- syedkarim 3y agoGet a device to jam the cellphone bands. Make sure the power output is low enough to only jam phones in your home. /s
- sliken 3y agoMake a stack of phones in the middle of the nearest table. First one to grab their phone pays for the the groups food/drinks/next round/whatever.
- madboston 3y agohttps://archive.is/39Wfh https://archive.is/39Wfh
- smcin 3y agoHere's another version: https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/news/the-decline-of-hanging-out/ar-BB1ihtdG https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/news/the-decline-of-hanging-... showing the graphs: "% of teens who say they go out with friends 2+ a week" which are essentially static throughout 1976-2010, then dive 20% over 2010-2020 after social media and front-facing cameras became common (and all before Covid). To the commenter below, the article is not "some Atlantic journalist's opinions", it's citing research by Jean Twenge, who is cited Jonathan Haidt [0] for her research on the correlation in socialization changes and heavy social-media use, esp since 2016. [https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true&query=haidt&sort=byPopularity&type=story https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true&que...] [0]: "Teen mental health is plummeting and social media is a major contributing cause" https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31268222 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31268222
- jjjjj55555 3y agoThe phrase "...in the US" needs to be added any time someone talks about this. From what I can tell, Europeans have managed to maintain their social bonds even post-Covid and post-cell phones.
- smcin 3y agoYes sorry, the article and paper make it clear it's referring to the US. I usually add "in the US" myself to such HN titles, but I think HN doesn't want us to editorialize like that, even when it removes ambiguity. So next time I'll try putting it in the title and the first post body.
- smcin 3y agoTurns out Haidt & Twenge [0] [see pdf] in 2022 said this: "PART 1: THE SPECIFIC, GIGANTIC, SUDDEN, AND INTERNATIONAL MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS: 1.6 The crisis has hit many countries, not just the USA. The patterns are nearly identical in the UK and Canada, and the trends are similar though not identical in Australia and New Zealand. We do not yet see signs of similar epidemics in continental Europe or in East Asia, although I have not yet found good data from those regions." and Figure 3. Loneliness at school increased in all regions of the world [sharply] after 2012 [through 2018]. [0]: "Teen mental health is plummeting and social media is a major contributing cause" https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31268222 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31268222
- tennisflyi 3y agoNo third space (and phones)
- jszymborski 3y agoIf you ask me, the lack of third space is a super underrated cause relative to phone usage. When people talk about phone use as a cause of isolation, I think of Victorian descriptions of melancholic women and their obsession with novels that brought them to that state.
- janalsncm 3y agoBingo. Phones definitely don’t help, but people in all countries have phones. The death of third places is a problem in America and correlated with the decline in malls and even decreases in teen drivers license. Almost every third place in America either costs money or (in the case of places like libraries) is noticeably impacted other social problems like homelessness. And on top of that, you have to drive to get there.
- mercer 3y agospeaking from The Netherlands, it's a problem here too.
- DavidPastrnak 3y agoThis is big for me and I didn’t realize it until recently. Right now I’ve added a local ice rink for pickup hockey and a golf course as a third space for each season. I’d be curious to hear what others are doing.
- cassianoleal 3y agoI hadn't come across the concept of a third space until ... yesterday, I think, on another HN thread. That said, it just seems weird that people would go about their lives without having one. For me, it's mostly the climbing gym where I both socialise with my friends and strangers.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- paulpauper 3y agoAs far as I am concerned, I have not observed this. I see plenty of people hanging out at restaurants and elsewhere. Many places are packed. It seems like there has been this trend of journalists writing these finger in the wind op-eds opining about a society that never existed or about something which is not a problem for most people but is turned into 'a thing' for the sake of pageviews and virality.
- freddie_mercury 3y agoThe article presents actual data which you rebut with...your feelings? "From 2003 to 2022, American men reduced their average hours of face-to-face socializing by about 30 percent. For unmarried Americans, the decline was even bigger—more than 35 percent. For teenagers, it was more than 45 percent. Boys and girls ages 15 to 19 reduced their weekly social hangouts by more than three hours a week. In short, there is no statistical record of any other period in U.S. history when people have spent more time on their own." vs. "As far as I am concerned, I have not observed this."
- ViktorRay 3y agoThere’s a difference between people “spending more time alone” and the articles claim that people have “stopped hanging out.” If one actually goes outside it’s trivial to see people hanging out. Also maybe ironic that I say this here on hacker news on Valentine’s Day but it’s true. Restaurants, bars and even the local mall were packed today.
- skhunted 3y agoI think it’s clear that the article’s author does not mean it literally that everyone stopped hanging out. It’s hyperbole.
- bee_rider 3y ago2003-2022 is also the time when it became possible to socialize without going anywhere, via the internet.
- 3y ago
- whoomp12341 3y agothe restaurant prices got too high
- voisin 3y agoYes, this is a major one. Go to any country with cheap restaurants and Lo! They are jammed with people hanging out.
- iJohnDoe 3y agoAlso, after the 2008 crash, food doesn’t taste as good at certain places. Chain restaurants that used to be really tasty, started using cheaper ingredients (theory) and just don’t taste as good as they used to and it’s more expensive.
- jackcosgrove 3y agoBlandflation?
- ikr678 3y agoEnshitification - cost cutting
- whoomp12341 3y agonot just cheaper ingredients, they moved towards frozen food / microwaving (I am looking at you, applebees)
- maerF0x0 3y agoEven as early as 2015 I was often shocked how few people entertained or wanted to do potlucks. I soon learned why, at least in my circles the lack of effort was mind blowing. Most people balked at the idea of chipping in to buy food, and so when I'd try a potluck everyone would aim at bringing something fully prepared like "Chips and Salsa" (and like 5 people would bring that). I finally gave up trying to entertain folks, I'd rather go out and eat a good meal and only pay for myself rather than be the only one spending $100s on parties... It saddens me because I had a time in my life where I did have a good circle that was reasonably reciprocal. I guess it's just a gone thing?
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- vikingerik 3y agoThe article cites data using 2022 as the endpoint, and it's worth noting that 2022 still had some pandemic effects. Both directly in that some people were still limiting or avoiding meetups particularly earlier in the year, and indirectly in that teenagers in particular would have less of a social group when they were forbidden to see people during their peak friendship forming years. We'll never have a non-pandemic counterfactual to compare against, but there will still be at least some post-pandemic rebound beyond 2022.
- ilaksh 3y agoOne aspect of this might be economic. I know I had a little more money leeway if you go back a few years. Another thing not mentioned is hanging out online. There are a lot of different ways to do that, and although none of them are the same as hanging out in person, they can be similar to one degree or another. Especially over the next few years as VR and AR devices become more capable and comfortable, I think the idea of hanging out will start to include virtual options. Also looking further out, imagine cities that are designed with good density and also integrate efficient and inexpensive public transportation using small private autonomous vehicles. You could take the hassle and most of the cost of driving out of meet ups.
- jackcosgrove 3y agoIt's not just phones because the trends observed by Putnam preceded all of that. The changes that occured between the 1970s and before and the 1980s and after add up to be major watershed in American and more broadly western culture. You can blame neoliberalism but I think the real change is deeper than that. It's the shift from modernity to post-modernity. And post-modernity is an apt term because the name itself is backward looking and doesn't stand *for* anything, only *against* something. The optimism of modernity, the belief in the perfectability of society, the abolition of want, of unlimited horizons - all these whiggish things - butt up against some very hard limits. These limits had been in the zeitgeist since the second world war, but reached the mass market in the 1980s. The US is the quintessential modern country, in the sense of the word I am describing, a child of the Enlightenment. It only follows that the end of modernity would be hard on the American psyche, harder than in older countries with pre-modern cultural DNA.
- jjjjj55555 3y agoYou put your finger on something that I've been thinking about for a while. I'm curious if you have any thoughts on "what's next"?
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- samtho 3y agoEven though the direct effects of the pandemic have mostly disappeared, it still does not undo the years of staying at home that we have become accustomed and habituated to. Rapid inflation didn’t help, either. For those lucky enough to survive layoffs, they doubled down on work either dedicating more of their time or attempted to insulate their risk by becoming overemployed. Those who have time for friend outings may not feel as if they can afford the cost and those who have money for friend outings may not feel as if they can afford the time. The rapid rise and acceptance of a remote workforce has led to fewer face-to-face interactions among coworkers. Social circles, that would be expanded by crossing different groups of your friends and acquaintances together, are dwindling due to both natural attrition and because people just see each other less often, weakening social bonds over time. Then when we all get together despite all odds of us actually meeting up, gatherings kind of just devolve to a bunch of loosely connected people looking at our phones. It’s tragically ironic that the device we use for instant communication ended up putting distance between all of us. I think we need to make more of an effort to spend time that is of sufficient quality with other people, even if that means our social norms need to change, e.g. phone usage when with others, actively reaching out, etc.
- timeagain 3y agoAll these “we” statements should be “me” statements. So many people are ready to take what they’re given, but you can opt out. Find in-person work. Throw out your phone. Live close to your friends. Drop in on your neighbors. Become a regular at the gym. Become a regular at the bar. Talk to people on the bus. Notice which flowers bloom in what order in the spring. If all you seek is comfort you’ll find it as you sit alone eating take out in a fully furnished apartment waiting to die. If what you want is community and to be present in the only life you have, you have to work hard to find it and maintain it.
- Keeeeeeeks 3y ago> All these “we” statements should be “me” statements. And all of your sentences ought to have "I think that" at the beginning; while reading OPs message as a sign of victimhood instead of a statement of fact gives you the opportunity to sharpen your sense of self against it, it gives the appearance of signaling more than it gives actionable advice. otoh, if the former was your goal, I misread intent.
- alexpotato 3y agoOne change I've seen between my parents generation and my generation: In my parents generation, stay at home moms would primarily socialize during the day. Working dads would, in turn, socialize after work with co-workers or male friends who, generally, also worked in New York City. In my generation, the stay at home moms socialize a lot more in the evenings and it's expected that the working dad be around to do the evening kid time. Babysitters are an option but it seems frowned upon if they are used too often. This could also be a factor of having small children as friends who have older children seem to go out much more often given that the kids (usually 13+) can take care of themselves.
- mercer 3y agoSounds like the problem is too much work.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- infotainment 3y agoThis feels like the "be careful what you wish for" consequence of WFH logic. Yes, you can never leave your house and do everything via Zoom! After all, why commute to a pointless office when you could be at home meeting people online? If you start thinking this way, suddenly most interactions that can be done from home start to seem like a waste of time. The question I always ask WFH advocates is this: when was the last time you had a meaningful in-person interaction with someone outside of your household? Most of the time, they can't even remember.
- toomuchtodo 3y agoRemote Work advocate here, remote for the last 10 years, in tech for ~23 years. Show me a person worth putting meaningful effort into to build and cultivate a relationship outside of my household and I'd put the effort in. These people are already rare, and superficial/ephemeral relationships are the norm. I have made a few friends over >20 years in tech, but most people aren't there to be your friend; the moment you bounce on the job, are let go, or fired, you'll never hear from them again (regardless of what is said or moments shared during overlapping employment). Jeff Bezos once said he was looking for a partner who could extract him from a third world prison. People I would do that for, or would expect of them, are who I would rather focus my energy and time on. Are you investable? https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/i-wanted-a-woman-who-could-get-me-out-of-a-3rd-world-prison-jeff-bezos/articleshow/61736341.cms https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/i-wan... TLDR Focus on relationships that matter (family, friends outside of work with strong/lasting bonds) versus social or professional ceremony, or faux relationships. Sometimes, weak interactions are a waste of time, and time is non renewable. (i chalk my position up to living in a low trust, high volatility society, ymmv)
- Gigachad 3y agoNot everyone has to be a life long friend. It’s completely fine to be friends with someone for only a year and move on. Children become friends with someone they randomly meet at a park and will never see again. I’ve found that almost everyone in the workplace is pretty open to socialising and usually has something interesting to tell you.
- hnthroaway992 3y agoPerhaps it's just the way the algorithm on these sites skew but it does strike me a little odd that there's often articles landing in my feeds lamenting about social connection. Why is there not as much promotion of ways of finding happiness in solitude? It would seem at least as much a solution as any this issue of distressed caused by loneliness.
- infotainment 3y ago> Why is there not as much promotion of ways of finding happiness in solitude? It would seem at least as much a solution as any this issue of distressed caused by loneliness. My guess would be because humans are inherently social animals. While there's something to be said for finding happiness in solitude, I'd argue there's no escaping biological reality in this case.
- jjjjj55555 3y agoMy Instagram feed is always showing me stuff about how awesome it is to be single and childless. I think it's way oversold, and they leave out the part that it's only fun if you're youngish and have lots of money and free time.
- aworks 3y agoI'm reading an old book, Fifty Days of Solitude, where the author grapples with her emotions when mostly alone for awhile. It's surprisingly complicated.
- BenFranklin100 3y agoIt’s time we acknowledge that “Social’, at least as we seen thus far, is on the balance better termed “Anti-Social”.
- toldyouso2022 3y agoAmericans are scared of saying the wrong thing. Meanwhile I say things that would get me arrested in the uk and fired in the US, daily, and I have lots of friends and an active social life, in person, no phones, no problems. If you can't tell your friends what you think, social places become a second workplace, of course you don't wanna go
- giraffe_lady 3y agoI'm not certain what you're euphemistically alluding to but I'm fairly confident I don't say it. I have a very active social life and don't need to... do that... whatever it is, nor do I worry particularly about whether or not I am saying this "wrong thing."
- beaeglebeached 3y agoThe counterpoint is people like McAffee who despite admitting and bragging of the lewdist shit continued to garner investment. Honestly you can get away with a lot in the US as long as you don't make personal insults to a coworker or customer, especially if you work in trades or non woke tech. Might even be required to be a bit loony from what I've seen in construction sites.
- cassianoleal 3y agoI'm curious about what it is that you say that would get you arrested in the UK. Short of publicly and loudly admitting you committed a crime, or actually committing one (e.g. being a racist towards someone, plotting terrorism, etc.) I can't think of anything.
- Izkata 3y agoThe UK's hate speech laws are very broad, for example arresting an autistic girl because she said a cop looks like her lesbian aunt: https://nypost.com/2023/08/11/autistic-girl-screams-and-cries-as-police-arrest-her-after-comment-about-officer-looking-like-a-lesbian-2/ https://nypost.com/2023/08/11/autistic-girl-screams-and-crie...
- rossdavidh 3y agoJust my $0.02: I have a few friends who I meet, on a regular basis, at one of our homes or at a coffeeshop. One, a fellow programmer, also WFH and we meet up at a coffeeshop once a week to spend a few hours at the same table. True, some of the time is not actually typing on keyboards, but it is still work-related in that we discuss how programming works, doesn't work, industry trends, what should be done next, etc. It started because my friend, on FB, just put it out there that if anyone (on his FB friends' list) wanted to meet up to work at a coffeeshop, at a table with a friend they knew, he was up for it. Someone has to speak up first. If you would be willing to do that, use that "social" network to let your whole friend group know you would be willing to do it. It's not a complete cure for excessive isolation, but it is worth doing. But somebody has to speak up first, to put that invitation out there for somebody else to respond to.
- phendrenad2 3y agoOkay, now compare this to the rest of the world. Surely the US isn't going to dethrone Japan as the king of introverts anytime soon, right? Are there places in the world where "hanging out" is increasing, or holding steady? This article could very well be about a global phenomenon. It would be really nice to know if it is. EDIT: I've heard that in southern Europe (roughly, Spain, France, Greece), "hanging out" is as strong as ever. What are they doing right? Is it the population density? The social acceptance of multi-generational combined living? Weak GDP? Poor cellphone service? Something else?
- morbicer 3y agoMultiple factors: - Southern Europe is culturally Catholic. Gross oversimplifaction incoming: Catholics: pray hard and get to the heaven. Protestants: work hard and get to the heaven. Obviously nowadays many people are atheistic but the underlying tone is there. - Climate. It's actually difficult to work hard during summer when most of the day the heat is killing you. Combined with the above explains the lower GDP compared to northern Europe. - Stronger welfare. You won't starve if you get laid off. You don't need to stress about work that much, you don't have to work overtime to prove sth to your boss. You can clock out at 5pm and go for a drink. - Walkable cities, public transport. Easy to bump to someone or gather. You can drink alcohol since you don't need to drive. Even smaller towns have cultural life. Small villages have social life revolving around soccer, voluntary firemen and festive celebrations. - Establishments with reasonable prices. Coffee is super cheap in Italy, Spain or Greece. Even alcohol is cheaper than UK or US. Food is much better. Small low-cost places can have great food while in USA the low-cost is dominated by fast-food chains with exception of ethnic restaurants. - Stronger family/friend bonds. People move less for work. In USA people hop between states and lose bonds. Even if you move to a different city in Spain, it's easy to hop on a train and spend a weekend with loved ones. Boils down to "live to work" vs "work to live". Reporting from central Europe, we are culturally somewhere between north/south (protestant vs catholic morale) and west/east (overall development and other values). Covid wiped out many restaurants and pubs and people hang out less than before but we still go with friends for a beer often.
- jader201 3y agoI’ve really taken up board games lately, and have a group of 3-5 people I play with almost weekly, and sometimes twice a week. We’re even doing a quarterly all-day thing this Saturday. Saying this to encourage people here to try it out, even if that means you hosting. Board games are great way for hackers to get off devices, but still solve puzzles, and hang out with others in the process. Set the example by staying off your phone. It seems to send the message in our group, and people tend to stay off. If you’ve not played in a while, there are plenty of lighter (simpler rules, quicker play) that are still fun and require a lot of thinking and strategy. I’ve been playing regularly since right before the pandemic, and we picked back up after things got mostly back to “normal”. It also helps to be intentional. Try to be consistent, and find people that are open to regular games to keep it going. I hear the excuse that people don’t have time, but it’s typically just an excuse — unless you have small(er) kids where they do require a bit more time and energy. But if you have no or older kids, make time to play. I’ve really enjoyed it, and the connections are nice.
- ChrisArchitect 3y agohttps://archive.vn/39Wfh https://archive.vn/39Wfh
- ein0p 3y agoI feel like it’s a long term trend exacerbated by COVID. And not so much by COVID itself, but by closures of establishments where people would previously congregate. Two watering holes myself and a few of my friends frequented both fell victim to lockdown insanity (blue state, smh) and lack of government support in the interim. There’s nowhere to go anymore without first driving for 20 minutes, finding parking (nearly always insufficient), and paying twice as much. Between kids, wives, and jobs, hanging out simply became a logistical impossibility.
- keiferski 3y agoIs anyone else bothered that the cutting edge of consumer tech seems to be focused entirely on escaping the real world, not making it better? As an example, consider how we treat it as totally normal that the big companies are focused on VR, gaming, and other individual activities that require you to shut off the world and focus on their devices. This is just…to be expected. And the idea of an Apple device that brings you together with other people in real life is somehow entirely inconceivable. I mean that literally - I’m not sure what it would even begin to look like, because the concept goes against our model of consumer tech so much.
- igornadj 3y agoWe are coming to an inflection point where people will realise tech is not serving them and there will be a large pull back. There is already something in the water with the realisation of what social media does to people, how unhealthy online communities like reddit are, how much emotional manipulation there is in news and entertainment etc. Cutting edge tech is great, it's the late stage capitalism and the attention economy that has soured the meal.
- underlipton 3y agoThe most popular VR platform at the moment is VRChat, which is almost exclusively about getting together with people and hanging out. In this case, the application removes barriers to interpersonal connection (physical distance, body image-related self-consciousness, disability, etc.). For the ways in which VR and other technologies separate people, it's because the people building that technology (an exclusive club, to be sure) make certain assumptions about what it's good for. Their primary goal is to siphon money and attention out of users, and the idea of preferring to using such technology to connect with people over in-person socializing and networking is anathema to them. So that's where we're at. Those people have to make space (or not be so filthy rich that they take up all the space) for the people who actually want to use this tech for deepening real-world experiences and meaning rather than dislocating from them. It would be a battle, obviously. Think of all of the virtual things stood up during the pandemic, that people made meaningful connections through, that our oh-so-extraverted elite dismantled the moment mask mandates ended. That was a conscious decision.
- jaredcwhite 3y agoNot true here in Portland. Real meetups IRL happen and people actually strike up great conversations. It's great. Heck, I chat with store clerks about TV shows or shoes. Maybe it's a cultural thing in certain areas.
- AtlasBarfed 3y agoI can't comment on the subject anymore, I just think if true this highlights all the "entertainment" spaces / features of real estate /home buying that are actually rarely if ever used to "entertain". It's just aspirational bullshit. Huge decks, elaborate brick oven patios,home pools, dining rooms, etc. I wonder if the aspirational value goes up with less actual usage in reality.
- gilbetron 3y agoI think it is a multi-dimensional, complex problem, and different people are experiencing different effects. However, one thing I've noticed about myself is that I don't seem to get as much out of social events. I'm in my 50s, so I've had lots of experience pre-cellphone and pre-internet, and I like seeing people and think we can be more isolationist, the issue is that when I do get together with people, it just isn't that much fun for the most part. I like it, but I don't have a strong desire to keep doing it. I do tabletop RPGs once a week, and that's fun because there is a focus I like. But getting together for other social events is just kinda mid. And others feel the same way. For better or worse, there are many other intense, engaging, fun, interesting things I can be doing that tailor to my personal tastes. So getting together with some people to just chat or play some random game like we used to is a nice thing now and then, it is too dull to attract me to do it very often. I can see it in my 15 year old son, too. He sometimes craves hanging out with his buddies laughing and having fun, but he also really likes doing the activities he really enjoys, even solo. Ideally, he'd have a fun group that likes to banter just like him, doing the exact activity that he enjoys, but that is really difficult to find. I guess, to me, it looks more like we all have very niche activities we really enjoy and fit our personalities really well, but the overlap of all these activities results in a small population. So you have the choice of really enjoying yourself and being alone, or being mildly engaged but doing so with a group of people. I think the ones most happy are those whose interests align with what a lot of people like to do, which is why sports is so strong these days.
- NoGravitas 3y agoThe usual boomer stuff in the Vertlartnic. It's not capitalism, it's those kids with their phones.
- kredd 3y agoExtremely noticeable in my age groups (late 20s/early 30s). That being said, I’ve realized the best thing you can do is to live very close (10-15 minute walk) away from your friends. I basically have a date night with a friend at the same bar we’ve been going for the past 4 years. Takes a minute to call and organize with “hey, dinner at 8?”, and we meet at the spot 10 minutes later. Sometimes it doesn’t pan out, but both of us are actively trying to. I’m also a part of a 6-people friend group who live in the same neighbourhood, who tends to hang out twice a week at least. It removes the “distance” friction, where you have to drive, uber or whatsoever. With my other friends though, inflation, lack of cheap things to do, time and etc. is always an issue. I’ve realized once they live a certain distance away, you have to schedule hangs days in advance. That’s cool, I get everyone is busy, but spontaneity of some meet ups makes them so much better.