4 ms·

This interview style seems bound to create a psychologically enmeshed workplace with no healthy boundaries. Or a workplace full of people with charming, easily-

This interview style seems bound to create a psychologically enmeshed workplace with no healthy boundaries. Or a workplace full of people with charming, easily-shared backstories and nuclear families but no yucky problems. Would not want to work here, personally.

AlotOfReading 3y ago
Any competent HR department would have a fit if they knew these kinds of questions were being asked. It's way too easy to wander into illegal discrimination when you're making hiring decisions based on people's backgrounds like this.
- ryandrake 3y ago
  You'd think this was true, but I've seen some crazy shit in interviews, even at companies that were big enough and had a robust enough legal team, where you'd think they'd have their shit together. I once interviewed at a medium sized, name brand Silicon Valley darling everyone on HN has heard of, where an interviewer outright asked me if I was married and if I had kids! Like, holy shit, just read your interview training manual! The very first sentence is probably "Do not ask any questions where the answer would even imply information about things that would get us in trouble discrimination-wise." Yet this person overtly asked! Here I was in the stairwell walking down to the second floor and she hits me up with one of the few totally forbidden questions! I thought about saying "What would HR think of that question?" but the asker was the HR manager! Totally bonkers.
  - b112 3y ago
    And now, the company is filled with those willing, or not caring about HR abuse. An interesting strategy?
  - AlotOfReading 3y ago
    The way I understand it, you can legally ask the questions, you just can't consider protected status for hiring purposes. The interview guidelines prohibit asking because "we didn't ask" is a stronger defense than "our interviewers have mental firewalls". This case is strictly worse because the questions are explicitly being asked to evaluate eligibility for hiring.
    - evilduck 3y ago
      It's still a major blunder by an HR manager but maybe there's a chance that they had already decided to hire the person but hadn't made an official offer and it was a mistimed getting-to-know-you chat? I don't know, it seems insane to even ask.
  - UncleOxidant 3y ago
    My wife was asked that question ("are you married, do you have kids?") in an interview with a tiny company 30 years ago. She attributed it to ignorance and replied "That's not a legal question to ask". The interviewer apologized profusely and he hired her. He turned out to be a really nice person who was unaware of what was out-of-bounds to ask in an interview. But that was 30 years ago, people should know better now.
  - shrimp_emoji 3y ago
    *Leans back and puts bare feet up on the table* Are you a virgin? https://youtu.be/fwYy8R87JMA https://youtu.be/fwYy8R87JMA
- bigbillheck 3y ago
  This person came out of the Thiel Fellowship, the rules are different.
- UncleOxidant 3y ago
  The HR people often seem to be the ones that ask the psychological questions.
- emeril 3y ago
  this 100% - you technically can't even ask someone how they are doing on an interview as that's not job related I could definitely see arguments for asking these sorts of questions in how they could be job related but not worth the legal risk I haven't had (nor ever likely will) have the luxury of working somewhere where potential/smarts is too relevant past a relatively low threshold
Uinchuling 3y ago
>a workplace full of people with charming, easily-shared backstories and nuclear families but no yucky problems Are you suggesting that this is bad? What do you hope to gain by seeking out obnoxious people with traumatic backstories and broken families with yuck problems? Misery loves company?
- hdhdhsjsbdh 3y ago
  Why should someone’s present self be defined by things entirely out of their control (e.g. childhood trauma)? You seem to assume that “obnoxious people” and “traumatic backstories” go hand-in-hand; on the contrary, some of the most obnoxious people are those who have never faced anything in their lives other than minor and routine inconveniences. Neither person is inherently superior to the other, I’m just saying that I’d personally rather not work at a place that selects exclusively for “perfect” people along a metric unrelated to their job performance.
  - Uinchuling 3y ago
    You were the one to make the link between "charming people", good childhoods and lack of "yucky problems". And, while I would agree that there is a strong correlation, it's true that it's not perfect. Obviously performance is also a critical factor but your comment gave me the impression that you don't see any value (or even harm) in targeting charming people without yucky problems. They do indeed sound like "perfect" colleagues to me!
    - the_mar 3y ago
      There isn’t a correlation. I am charming and would like to think generally pleasant to be around. But if you’re going to interrogate me about the entire life story of mine, you aren’t going to think that anymore. Screening for people with life stories that you/anyone deems acceptable is extremely problematic, because realistically you will never have access to deeply personal information about 90% of your coworkers. As in, you should not be forcing Janet from accounting to disclose to you that she was abused by her stepfather, because if she is a well-adjusted adult it would have absolutely no bearing on your interactions with her at a workplace

AlotOfReading 3y ago

Any competent HR department would have a fit if they knew these kinds of questions were being asked. It's way too easy to wander into illegal discrimination when you're making hiring decisions based on people's backgrounds like this.

ryandrake 3y ago
You'd think this was true, but I've seen some crazy shit in interviews, even at companies that were big enough and had a robust enough legal team, where you'd think they'd have their shit together. I once interviewed at a medium sized, name brand Silicon Valley darling everyone on HN has heard of, where an interviewer outright asked me if I was married and if I had kids! Like, holy shit, just read your interview training manual! The very first sentence is probably "Do not ask any questions where the answer would even imply information about things that would get us in trouble discrimination-wise." Yet this person overtly asked! Here I was in the stairwell walking down to the second floor and she hits me up with one of the few totally forbidden questions! I thought about saying "What would HR think of that question?" but the asker was the HR manager! Totally bonkers.
- b112 3y ago
  And now, the company is filled with those willing, or not caring about HR abuse. An interesting strategy?
- AlotOfReading 3y ago
  The way I understand it, you can legally ask the questions, you just can't consider protected status for hiring purposes. The interview guidelines prohibit asking because "we didn't ask" is a stronger defense than "our interviewers have mental firewalls". This case is strictly worse because the questions are explicitly being asked to evaluate eligibility for hiring.
  - evilduck 3y ago
    It's still a major blunder by an HR manager but maybe there's a chance that they had already decided to hire the person but hadn't made an official offer and it was a mistimed getting-to-know-you chat? I don't know, it seems insane to even ask.
- UncleOxidant 3y ago
  My wife was asked that question ("are you married, do you have kids?") in an interview with a tiny company 30 years ago. She attributed it to ignorance and replied "That's not a legal question to ask". The interviewer apologized profusely and he hired her. He turned out to be a really nice person who was unaware of what was out-of-bounds to ask in an interview. But that was 30 years ago, people should know better now.
- shrimp_emoji 3y ago
  *Leans back and puts bare feet up on the table* Are you a virgin? https://youtu.be/fwYy8R87JMA https://youtu.be/fwYy8R87JMA
bigbillheck 3y ago
This person came out of the Thiel Fellowship, the rules are different.
UncleOxidant 3y ago
The HR people often seem to be the ones that ask the psychological questions.
emeril 3y ago
this 100% - you technically can't even ask someone how they are doing on an interview as that's not job related I could definitely see arguments for asking these sorts of questions in how they could be job related but not worth the legal risk I haven't had (nor ever likely will) have the luxury of working somewhere where potential/smarts is too relevant past a relatively low threshold

Uinchuling 3y ago

>a workplace full of people with charming, easily-shared backstories and nuclear families but no yucky problems Are you suggesting that this is bad? What do you hope to gain by seeking out obnoxious people with traumatic backstories and broken families with yuck problems? Misery loves company?

hdhdhsjsbdh 3y ago
Why should someone’s present self be defined by things entirely out of their control (e.g. childhood trauma)? You seem to assume that “obnoxious people” and “traumatic backstories” go hand-in-hand; on the contrary, some of the most obnoxious people are those who have never faced anything in their lives other than minor and routine inconveniences. Neither person is inherently superior to the other, I’m just saying that I’d personally rather not work at a place that selects exclusively for “perfect” people along a metric unrelated to their job performance.
- Uinchuling 3y ago
  You were the one to make the link between "charming people", good childhoods and lack of "yucky problems". And, while I would agree that there is a strong correlation, it's true that it's not perfect. Obviously performance is also a critical factor but your comment gave me the impression that you don't see any value (or even harm) in targeting charming people without yucky problems. They do indeed sound like "perfect" colleagues to me!
  - the_mar 3y ago
    There isn’t a correlation. I am charming and would like to think generally pleasant to be around. But if you’re going to interrogate me about the entire life story of mine, you aren’t going to think that anymore. Screening for people with life stories that you/anyone deems acceptable is extremely problematic, because realistically you will never have access to deeply personal information about 90% of your coworkers. As in, you should not be forcing Janet from accounting to disclose to you that she was abused by her stepfather, because if she is a well-adjusted adult it would have absolutely no bearing on your interactions with her at a workplace