4 ms·

I've definitely been in workplace situations where one person's language creates an impression of egotism (to me). For example coworkers making extravagant comp

I've definitely been in workplace situations where one person's language creates an impression of egotism (to me). For example coworkers making extravagant comparisons in aptitude (in relation to senior coworkers). I can definitely relate to that aspect of the OP and I would want more examples.

refulgentis 3y ago
That's fair and true: I wrote a long comment on a sibling with a similar conflict that might rhyme On further reflection prompted by your comment, I guess what I'd say is it happens, but nothing useful comes from trying to actively address from a mentor role due to sociological reasons: i.e. unless you're emperor, it looks like a mentor rolling in the mud with a mentee. It actually costs you more than them because theyre supposed to be naive and new, whereas with the mentor, it looks like they're too immature to take on the more advanced role. This was shaped by 7 years at Google, a very strange place where unsustainably surreal and smiling was preferred over functional and forthright --- I'm being unfair with that, but it's good to share because it's a concrete warning my bias is towards avoiding conflict and sitting and waiting.
- NicoJuicy 3y ago
  > It actually costs you more than them because theyre supposed to be naive and new, whereas with the mentor, it looks like they're too immature to take on the more advanced role without. That's a good observation and correct, thanks!
NicoJuicy 3y ago
Eg: - trying to explain things to others, without knowing simpler things related to it - when given a feature on his own, I practically did all the more difficult time-consuming things ( eg. Doing the logic of product variants to the db, when the Post is done) - when they get a feature, instead of discussing how it's going to be done before he starts and if it's a good approach. Finding out when they are halfway in and his pr's are getting blocked because of "wtf" - Starting to spread asking things to people less aware of certain behavior, so it wouldn't be obvious how much time he spend getting something out ( this is a guess behind of the why fyi) - only claiming that they gave doubts about certain variable names, while an implementation is 4 levels deep of "if/else" ( or similar bad code - sometimes, I took the entire afternoon to explain things. The day after, it was just like nothing was discussed and the same mistakes that were talked about to avoid, were in the PR. Tried to talk about it again, but started to ignore it more from then on, since it was time consuming

refulgentis 3y ago

That's fair and true: I wrote a long comment on a sibling with a similar conflict that might rhyme On further reflection prompted by your comment, I guess what I'd say is it happens, but nothing useful comes from trying to actively address from a mentor role due to sociological reasons: i.e. unless you're emperor, it looks like a mentor rolling in the mud with a mentee. It actually costs you more than them because theyre supposed to be naive and new, whereas with the mentor, it looks like they're too immature to take on the more advanced role. This was shaped by 7 years at Google, a very strange place where unsustainably surreal and smiling was preferred over functional and forthright --- I'm being unfair with that, but it's good to share because it's a concrete warning my bias is towards avoiding conflict and sitting and waiting.

NicoJuicy 3y ago
> It actually costs you more than them because theyre supposed to be naive and new, whereas with the mentor, it looks like they're too immature to take on the more advanced role without. That's a good observation and correct, thanks!

NicoJuicy 3y ago

Eg: - trying to explain things to others, without knowing simpler things related to it - when given a feature on his own, I practically did all the more difficult time-consuming things ( eg. Doing the logic of product variants to the db, when the Post is done) - when they get a feature, instead of discussing how it's going to be done before he starts and if it's a good approach. Finding out when they are halfway in and his pr's are getting blocked because of "wtf" - Starting to spread asking things to people less aware of certain behavior, so it wouldn't be obvious how much time he spend getting something out ( this is a guess behind of the why fyi) - only claiming that they gave doubts about certain variable names, while an implementation is 4 levels deep of "if/else" ( or similar bad code - sometimes, I took the entire afternoon to explain things. The day after, it was just like nothing was discussed and the same mistakes that were talked about to avoid, were in the PR. Tried to talk about it again, but started to ignore it more from then on, since it was time consuming