3 ms·

My personal policy at work is a super strict seperation, I simply share as little as possible, standard small talk but I keep it extremely generic. Say too litt

by scrps 3y ago

My personal policy at work is a super strict seperation, I simply share as little as possible, standard small talk but I keep it extremely generic. Say too little people get curious, say too much people draw conclusions or feel the emergence of a relationship. Be just uninteresting enough to be overlooked in social contexts. Not sure it would have helped in his case as both his job and hobby are public. But it has kept drama at bay in my case and has served me well but ymmv.

trinsic2 3y ago
What a sad world we live in...
- Gigachad 3y ago
  That’s the world they live in. Personally I’m fine to share basically everything with coworkers. Australia has much better legal protections for workers though.
  - School-Cotton 3y ago
    I live in the US and I have normal social interactions with my coworkers, not really trying to hide my real personality. That poster is exaggerating the danger, IMO.
    - lacrimacida 3y ago
      It depends on what you need to hide. I’m an introvert and not a neurotypical and struggle wearing a mask at work for extended periods of time. I’ve adapted to display what is expected of me in those settings but it’s tiring to not be able to be onself…
  - LouisSayers 3y ago
    Not just that but totally different culture. I also find that lunch and coffee are great ice breakers - otherwise an office can feel quite sterile and disconnected.
    - Gigachad 3y ago
      Yeah that's the thing about remote work I hate the most. It's so dry. To talk about anything remotely personal or spicy you have to be face to face at the cafe or something. There are a few coworkers who come in to the coworking space with me and we talk about all kinds of things and get to know each other really well. No one does this on Teams/Slack. Not being able to assess the vibe of the room and having everything permanently logged just kills any personality.
- johnnyworker 3y ago
  > Our main way of relating ourselves to others is like things relate themselves to things on the market. We want to exchange our own personality, or as one says sometimes, our "personality package", for something. Now, this is not so true for the manual workers. The manual worker does not have to sell his personality. He doesn't have to sell his smile. But what you might call the "symbol pushers", that is to say, all the people who deal with figures, with paper, with men, who manipulate - to use a better, or nicer, word - manipulate men and signs and words, all those today have not only to sell their service but in the bargain they're to sell their personality, more or less. There are exceptions. -- Erich Fromm, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu-7UDT0Xe4&t=94s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu-7UDT0Xe4&t=94s
eurekin 3y ago
I think that's the common sense thing really
ametrau 3y ago
Bravo
syndacks 3y ago
[flagged]
- dang 3y ago
  Personal attacks will get you banned here. Please don't do it again. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html Edit: more generally—could you please stop posting unsubstantive comments and flamebait? You've unfortunately been doing it repeatedly. It's not what this site is for, and destroys what it is for. If you wouldn't mind reviewing the site guidelines and taking the intended spirit of the site more to heart, we'd be grateful.
jsqu99 3y ago
we spend so much time w/ our co-workers. If i can make some genuine friendships by being myself, that's far more valuable to me than 'keeping my job'.
- toast0 3y ago
  That's great if everybody you work with is someone you'd be friends with. On the other hand, if we can all present our workplace self, we can get our work done, and then go home and be our whole selves at home where our incompatabilities don't clash.
jl6 3y ago
A lot of employers advocate “bring your whole self to work”, which sadly carries an implicit “no, not that part of yourself”.
- shermantanktop 3y ago
  Yeah, anyone who takes that 100% at face value is in for a rough time. I believe the intention is to say “it’s ok to be out as gay/trans/whatever, or to express your culture through dress/hair/etc.”. But we have a sloganized sentiment that opens the door for a lot more than that.

by scrps 3y ago

trinsic2 3y ago

What a sad world we live in...

Gigachad 3y ago
That’s the world they live in. Personally I’m fine to share basically everything with coworkers. Australia has much better legal protections for workers though.
- School-Cotton 3y ago
  I live in the US and I have normal social interactions with my coworkers, not really trying to hide my real personality. That poster is exaggerating the danger, IMO.
  - lacrimacida 3y ago
    It depends on what you need to hide. I’m an introvert and not a neurotypical and struggle wearing a mask at work for extended periods of time. I’ve adapted to display what is expected of me in those settings but it’s tiring to not be able to be onself…
- LouisSayers 3y ago
  Not just that but totally different culture. I also find that lunch and coffee are great ice breakers - otherwise an office can feel quite sterile and disconnected.
  - Gigachad 3y ago
    Yeah that's the thing about remote work I hate the most. It's so dry. To talk about anything remotely personal or spicy you have to be face to face at the cafe or something. There are a few coworkers who come in to the coworking space with me and we talk about all kinds of things and get to know each other really well. No one does this on Teams/Slack. Not being able to assess the vibe of the room and having everything permanently logged just kills any personality.
johnnyworker 3y ago
> Our main way of relating ourselves to others is like things relate themselves to things on the market. We want to exchange our own personality, or as one says sometimes, our "personality package", for something. Now, this is not so true for the manual workers. The manual worker does not have to sell his personality. He doesn't have to sell his smile. But what you might call the "symbol pushers", that is to say, all the people who deal with figures, with paper, with men, who manipulate - to use a better, or nicer, word - manipulate men and signs and words, all those today have not only to sell their service but in the bargain they're to sell their personality, more or less. There are exceptions. -- Erich Fromm, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu-7UDT0Xe4&t=94s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu-7UDT0Xe4&t=94s

eurekin 3y ago

I think that's the common sense thing really

ametrau 3y ago

Bravo

syndacks 3y ago

[flagged]

dang 3y ago
Personal attacks will get you banned here. Please don't do it again. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html Edit: more generally—could you please stop posting unsubstantive comments and flamebait? You've unfortunately been doing it repeatedly. It's not what this site is for, and destroys what it is for. If you wouldn't mind reviewing the site guidelines and taking the intended spirit of the site more to heart, we'd be grateful.

jsqu99 3y ago

we spend so much time w/ our co-workers. If i can make some genuine friendships by being myself, that's far more valuable to me than 'keeping my job'.

toast0 3y ago
That's great if everybody you work with is someone you'd be friends with. On the other hand, if we can all present our workplace self, we can get our work done, and then go home and be our whole selves at home where our incompatabilities don't clash.

jl6 3y ago

A lot of employers advocate “bring your whole self to work”, which sadly carries an implicit “no, not that part of yourself”.

shermantanktop 3y ago
Yeah, anyone who takes that 100% at face value is in for a rough time. I believe the intention is to say “it’s ok to be out as gay/trans/whatever, or to express your culture through dress/hair/etc.”. But we have a sloganized sentiment that opens the door for a lot more than that.