> When translated, Chateaubriand sounds long-winded and often vapidly self-absorbed. You can remove 'when translated'. The long-windedness is somewhat absolved

> When translated, Chateaubriand sounds long-winded and often vapidly self-absorbed. You can remove 'when translated'. The long-windedness is somewhat absolved, or at least mitigated by his style and his tempo, at least in my opinion. But vapidity and self-absorbtion are clearly really good definition of the content of his writings.