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Children are often hardest on their own caregivers though, so the more you look like a parent figure the more they rebel. Of course nowadays corporal punishment
by beaeglebeach 3y ago
Children are often hardest on their own caregivers though, so the more you look like a parent figure the more they rebel.
Of course nowadays corporal punishment is 'child abuse' so the child is emboldened knowing they can do whatever they like, including violence, with absolute impunity from physical pain.
- dxbydt 3y ago> Children are often hardest on their own caregivers Hear hear! If your kids turn out good, they'll say you are lucky.If they don't, they'll say you messed up as a parent. Either way, the parent never gets any credit.
- bcrosby95 3y agoReality is a mixed bag. There's lots of things about a kid that is very difficult to change. We've done a lot in the past to try to discourage certain bad behaviors once they developed but what mostly happened was they eventually grew out of it thanks to no particular tactic we employed. So I mostly just try to model the behavior I want to see.
- jmcqk6 3y agocorporal punishment is child abuse. It does not mean children can do whatever they like. You might find it difficult to find alternatives, but better alternatives than violence exists. Save your children the costs of therapy as adults, and focus on real emotional health.
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- tiahura 3y agoIs there a mammal that doesn’t utilize corporal punishment to set boundaries? Does every dog / chimp / giraffe that got nipped by mom for being a brat need therapy?
- spaceribs 3y agoAre you comparing a human child with dogs, chimps and giraffes? Are you saying it's appropriate to communicate with physical violence in this context? What other human-to-human contexts are there where physical violence or the threat of physical violence is okay? I'm genuinely curious about this worldview, because I personally cannot empathize with this. It's abhorrent to me and my values.
- s1artibartfast 3y agoI would argue that basically every human context includes the possibility of physical violence, usually for sufficient transgression the boundaries of others. If you walk out your door start groping people or try to run off someone's child, you will encounter violence pretty fast.
- bagful 3y agoConsidering the behaviors children typically get spanked for, these are severe crimes. Do we have a higher standard of behavior for children?
- s1artibartfast 3y agoI don't know what scenarios you are imagining but I think standard should be lower for children than adults, and the punishment less severe, but that doesn't preclude any violence.
- spaceribs 3y agoThose examples are not "every human context" and they don't guarantee violence, they're extrajudicial. Are you saying spanking a child is extrajudicial? a vigilante assault?
- nox100 3y agodo you have any repoed studies that show kids who were spanked as kids (not beaten) needed therapy as adults? AFAICT, all the parents I know that don't punish their kids have the worst kids with the most problems. I'm not saying you should spank your kids. I'm only questioning whether it actually causes any problems. I was spanked, my sister was spanked. All my cousins etc. None of us have any issues. We love our parents and loved that they loved us enough to punish us when we were bad.
- lo_zamoyski 3y ago"Child abuse" is a fuzzier term than many seem to acknowledge, subject to passing conventions and fads. This isn't to say there aren't obvious examples of child abuse (beating your kids, sexual abuse, gaslighting, or all sorts of emotional and psychological manipulation or whatever), but today, giving an incorrigibly disobedient child throwing an interminable tantrum a swat on the tush to shake them out of it gets CPS involved, but teaching strange ideologies approved by the state is fine (in fact, refusing to teach them is now abuse). Even worse, grotesque "medical" procedures and treatments against which that swat pales in comparison. Generally speaking, corporal punishment as such is not abuse, either. We've just become very sentimental, operating with a flawed understanding of human nature. It shouldn't be used lightly, but it shouldn't be demonized categorically.
- verall 3y ago> giving an incorrigibly disobedient child throwing an interminable tantrum a swat on the tush to shake them out of it gets CPS involved It really doesn't. > Even worse, grotesque "medical" procedures and treatments against which that swat pales in comparison. Ahh, I see what you've got going on here...
- LambdaComplex 3y agoDo you normally solve interpersonal conflicts in your life with physical violence? If the answer is no: why do you think it's appropriate to do so when dealing with children? (If the answer is yes, then consider anger management classes, I guess)
- kanbara 3y agoit’s always been child abuse, just sanctioned or commonplace. children can be raised to do the right thing without fear/pain/trauma.
- rendang 3y agoCorporal punishment is legal in the US, & practiced by many educated millennial families in my circle of acquaintance