3 ms·

>There's a saying (which could be specific to my country) about men approaching women. If you're handsome it's called flirting, if you're ugly it's sexual haras

• dgfitz 3y ago
  Selection bias? Most of the women who _commented_ feel that way, in the same way that 70-95% of people who read reddit/hn/whatever only lurk. Vocal minority maybe.
• hnbad 3y ago
  There are also other factors. Attractiveness not only depends on physiognomy but also skincare, hygiene, dress and even medical interventions (e.g. orthodontics) which are often tied to wealth and especially childhood wealth. Childhood eating disorders and childhood obesity/malnutrition for example are hard to overcome as an adult and more common in poorer families. So attractiveness already is in part an indicator of wealth (at least on aggregate if not for every individual). It's well-known and widely established that coming from wealth makes it easier to get with "gentlemen crimes" (e.g. being caught drinking underage or using illegal drugs is more likely to result in confiscation and a stern warning or "slap on the wrist" if the police officer knows you're from a wealthy family, other biases aside) as well as sexual assault. So the difference between the two can simply be that the "handsome" guy in a suit is just more likely to "get away with it" because it's riskier to confront or report him compared to the "ugly" guy who is likely on a lower rung of the social hierarchy.
• benterix 3y ago
  To be completely frank, this applies to both sexes. As a man it feels nice to be complimented by attractive women but when I face the same attention from women I don't consider attractive and just prefer to have normal work relations with, I feel very awkward. I don't want to sound rude and hurt them, but sometimes when you don't react they take it as an approval to go further. But most of the time just dry "thank you" and moving on to the next topic solves it.
  • orwin 3y ago
    If the woman is attractive, it is different? My commercial is a very attractive female (and I mean, very), she flirted with me (my bad really, I sent weird signals, we didn't knew each other enough for the level of friendlyness I showed, it's an issue in my family, my father and my sister have the same), I put a "i'm moving in with my girlfriend" somewhere later in the discussion (it wasn't exactly true), bam, clarified, but I felt really awkward doing it and finding a way to close that door. I think that if you don't see the other as a potential mate, it's always awkward.
    • fho 3y ago
      Mentioning a partner very early on seems to be a very common pattern in getting to know people.
• Dudester230602 3y ago
  > But many women have commented that they find the "attractive" guy's compliments also unwanted. Pay attention to what they do, not what they say.