8 ms·

"Coping Mechanisms: Over the years, adults develop various coping strategies that can mask ADHD symptoms. For instance, someone might excessively rely on calend

"Coping Mechanisms: Over the years, adults develop various coping strategies that can mask ADHD symptoms. For instance, someone might excessively rely on calendars, to-do lists, or alarms to compensate for forgetfulness." You're goddamn right I do

coremoff 3y ago
do you find that todo lists help you? I certainly agree with calendars/alarms but todo lists for me are a place to put things instead of doing them and then they become a separate problem all of their own
- artdigital 3y ago
  Same for me. Todo lists don’t work for me at all The only kind of todo list that does is a piece of physical paper with the items that I want to finish that day
- pseudoramble 3y ago
  I find that for calendars and to do lists to work well, I need reminders to tell me to check the lists lol. Not great.
  - mofeien 3y ago
    I made a kanban board of post-its on my bedroom mirror, that's hard enough to miss so that I automatically check them several times a day.
- tbrake 3y ago
  They help me. At least the physical, paper ones do. I keep my days on track by taking time in the early morning and reviewing the previous days accomplishment/misses/notes and then writing down an outline of today's goals and reminders. Notes throughout the day get jotted in the margins. Something like maybe 70% blogging, 30% to-do list? Can't say I've ever used an app that felt 1/8th as helpful. It feels like there's some extra brain magic going on in the process of putting thoughts on actual paper that results in more retention and effort of thought put into writing.
- naavis 3y ago
  For me the most important function of a todo list is to remind me what I am supposed to be doing _right now_. I often get distracted and veer off to do something else, but a quick glance at the top of my todo list gives me that little nudge to go back. Anything further down the todo list will possibly stay undone.
- arketyp 3y ago
  That's a feature of todo lists I think. Well, perhaps not for ADHD per se, but it's a way also to offload and let go of things. At least that's what I remember the lifehack character on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy said.
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
- dymk 3y ago
  Todo lists help me deal with tasks not worth doing. I feel anxiety over forgetting things, even if they're ultimately not important - it can be hard to tell what's important in the moment. Putting it in a todo list allows me to let go of the anxiety of forgetting, because I know I'll triage and prune my todo list soon enough.
- anthonypz 3y ago
  Yeah, prioritizing tasks is also part of the problem for me. I use the TickTick app to save my tasks and it has a feature called the Eisenhower Matrix, which allows me to prioritize my tasks in a visual way like a kanban board. Sometimes that's not enough. Keeping to a schedule to form a habit is also a challenge, so I prepend a number to the most important tasks and set up reminders for them. Once I have the big tasks laid out in the app, I revert to old school pen and paper to break the tasks down into smaller parts because it's faster and reduces friction. Maybe that sounds like overkill, but I've found that having a system for writing down tasks, prioritizing them, and creating a daily schedule/habit are all equally important for people with ADHD.
- pydry 3y ago
  I used to think they didn't. It is entirely pointless and even something of a distraction if it's something that's currently part of my hyperfocus/obsession. If it's something I might forget (e.g. an admin task), then if I don't put it in a list and have either a habit to pluck it out of the list or a reminder prompting me then it is usually forgotten. I also rely very much more heavily on checklists (especially templated checklists) than the average person. If I'm traveling and I don't set a reminder for 7pm the night before a trip with a packing checklist then I will either forget 4 critical items or I will be frantically packing at the last minute or both.
- Capricorn2481 3y ago
  I mean the author in the article uses a to do list
- JohnBooty 3y ago
  and then they become a separate problem all of their own I struggle with it too. There are an infinite number of possible todo systems and different systems will work for different individuals at different times. But, I do feel there are two immutable truths w.r.t. successful todo list tasking. 1. You have to aggressively prioritize and prune them. 2. You should have separate daily/weekly/monthly/"someday" lists. Or some variation on this them. Maybe you do weekly/monthly/someday. Or today/tomorrow/someday. Whatever. Point is it can't be a single infinitely expanding list or multiple infinitely expanding lists. Otherwise it's just a giant guilt pile that is 50% full of crap you don't even care about any more. I still struggle but I think embracing those two principles is table stakes
  - qup 3y ago
    > today/tomorrow/someday. For me: now, soon, eventually And things might be in the "now" list for a long time. It's the hardest list to work on, for me.
frankyg 3y ago
[flagged]
Mordisquitos 3y ago
In my case I have to say that is only half true. As an adult-diagnosed ADHD sufferer I cannot say that I developed coping strategies on which I relied excessively that masked my symptoms. Rather, I used to try [0] to develop coping strategies, only for me to eventually drop them for unexplainable reasons at the slightest routine-messing incident or event, regardless of how effective the strategy was being or how good it felt. And then some time later I would [will] try again, under the blissful delusion that this time it will stick overriding the rational memory that I never succeed in setting up a system on which I can rely for the medium-to-long term. Rinse, wash, repeat. I am now in a low, with no active strategy, and without the mental strength to start working on a new one. Hopefully though I will recover my mojo soon and organise myself again. And I'm sure this time it will stick... [0] I still try to develop coping strategies, but I used to too.
- worklaptopacct 3y ago
  This is me. I stopped trying to be organized, because I know that as soon as there is some inconvenience or difficulty organizing, I will just get overwhelmed and drop everything I was trying to do. For example, I just cannot take notes or manage a calendar.
  - jwozn 3y ago
    I got an e-ink notepad, which helped organize my thoughts better than the 10 different legal pads I would jump between. Still disorganized, but at least now my notes for a single topic are in one place. For a calendar, my wife hung this acrylic calendar on the kitchen wall and we update it at the beginning of every month. I try to add things as they come up, and I often forget to add things if they are in future months, but it's helped for me to keep track of family arrangements. Any personal appointments I make on my own I try to put immediately into my google calendar, and then my work calendar is completely separate. As I'm typing this I realize I rely heavily on others to manage most of my time...
    - thunkshift1 3y ago
      Which notepad?
Pikamander2 3y ago
I don't see why any of that would be excessive or exclusive to people with ADHD. Neurotypical people forget important stuff all the time and would also benefit from good organizational skills and reminders about important deadlines.
Bjartr 3y ago
I recently started talking to a therapist again after several years not, this time focusing on ADHD. I never realized until now the sheer number of little tweaks I've integrated into my thinking and behavior, nor the degree to which I've optimized them all for maximum likelihood of actually getting stuff done. No one approach works consistently, but every now and then I get lucky and one does, and that's a real improvement over not doing them.
deafpolygon 3y ago
> For instance, someone might excessively rely on calendars, to-do lists, or alarms to compensate for forgetfulness." Holy objects. Can't survive with any of these things. I have 2 calendars running (it's actually only one, but I have Outlook mobile installed, plus Apple Calendar- they sync to the same calendar , I get two separate notifications for everything so I can't just dismiss them as easily).
deleted 3y ago
[deleted]

coremoff 3y ago

do you find that todo lists help you? I certainly agree with calendars/alarms but todo lists for me are a place to put things instead of doing them and then they become a separate problem all of their own

artdigital 3y ago
Same for me. Todo lists don’t work for me at all The only kind of todo list that does is a piece of physical paper with the items that I want to finish that day
pseudoramble 3y ago
I find that for calendars and to do lists to work well, I need reminders to tell me to check the lists lol. Not great.
- mofeien 3y ago
  I made a kanban board of post-its on my bedroom mirror, that's hard enough to miss so that I automatically check them several times a day.
tbrake 3y ago
They help me. At least the physical, paper ones do. I keep my days on track by taking time in the early morning and reviewing the previous days accomplishment/misses/notes and then writing down an outline of today's goals and reminders. Notes throughout the day get jotted in the margins. Something like maybe 70% blogging, 30% to-do list? Can't say I've ever used an app that felt 1/8th as helpful. It feels like there's some extra brain magic going on in the process of putting thoughts on actual paper that results in more retention and effort of thought put into writing.
naavis 3y ago
For me the most important function of a todo list is to remind me what I am supposed to be doing _right now_. I often get distracted and veer off to do something else, but a quick glance at the top of my todo list gives me that little nudge to go back. Anything further down the todo list will possibly stay undone.
arketyp 3y ago
That's a feature of todo lists I think. Well, perhaps not for ADHD per se, but it's a way also to offload and let go of things. At least that's what I remember the lifehack character on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy said.
deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
dymk 3y ago
Todo lists help me deal with tasks not worth doing. I feel anxiety over forgetting things, even if they're ultimately not important - it can be hard to tell what's important in the moment. Putting it in a todo list allows me to let go of the anxiety of forgetting, because I know I'll triage and prune my todo list soon enough.
anthonypz 3y ago
Yeah, prioritizing tasks is also part of the problem for me. I use the TickTick app to save my tasks and it has a feature called the Eisenhower Matrix, which allows me to prioritize my tasks in a visual way like a kanban board. Sometimes that's not enough. Keeping to a schedule to form a habit is also a challenge, so I prepend a number to the most important tasks and set up reminders for them. Once I have the big tasks laid out in the app, I revert to old school pen and paper to break the tasks down into smaller parts because it's faster and reduces friction. Maybe that sounds like overkill, but I've found that having a system for writing down tasks, prioritizing them, and creating a daily schedule/habit are all equally important for people with ADHD.
pydry 3y ago
I used to think they didn't. It is entirely pointless and even something of a distraction if it's something that's currently part of my hyperfocus/obsession. If it's something I might forget (e.g. an admin task), then if I don't put it in a list and have either a habit to pluck it out of the list or a reminder prompting me then it is usually forgotten. I also rely very much more heavily on checklists (especially templated checklists) than the average person. If I'm traveling and I don't set a reminder for 7pm the night before a trip with a packing checklist then I will either forget 4 critical items or I will be frantically packing at the last minute or both.
Capricorn2481 3y ago
I mean the author in the article uses a to do list
JohnBooty 3y ago
and then they become a separate problem all of their own I struggle with it too. There are an infinite number of possible todo systems and different systems will work for different individuals at different times. But, I do feel there are two immutable truths w.r.t. successful todo list tasking. 1. You have to aggressively prioritize and prune them. 2. You should have separate daily/weekly/monthly/"someday" lists. Or some variation on this them. Maybe you do weekly/monthly/someday. Or today/tomorrow/someday. Whatever. Point is it can't be a single infinitely expanding list or multiple infinitely expanding lists. Otherwise it's just a giant guilt pile that is 50% full of crap you don't even care about any more. I still struggle but I think embracing those two principles is table stakes
- qup 3y ago
  > today/tomorrow/someday. For me: now, soon, eventually And things might be in the "now" list for a long time. It's the hardest list to work on, for me.

frankyg 3y ago

[flagged]

Mordisquitos 3y ago

In my case I have to say that is only half true. As an adult-diagnosed ADHD sufferer I cannot say that I developed coping strategies on which I relied excessively that masked my symptoms. Rather, I used to try [0] to develop coping strategies, only for me to eventually drop them for unexplainable reasons at the slightest routine-messing incident or event, regardless of how effective the strategy was being or how good it felt. And then some time later I would [will] try again, under the blissful delusion that this time it will stick overriding the rational memory that I never succeed in setting up a system on which I can rely for the medium-to-long term. Rinse, wash, repeat. I am now in a low, with no active strategy, and without the mental strength to start working on a new one. Hopefully though I will recover my mojo soon and organise myself again. And I'm sure this time it will stick... [0] I still try to develop coping strategies, but I used to too.

worklaptopacct 3y ago
This is me. I stopped trying to be organized, because I know that as soon as there is some inconvenience or difficulty organizing, I will just get overwhelmed and drop everything I was trying to do. For example, I just cannot take notes or manage a calendar.
- jwozn 3y ago
  I got an e-ink notepad, which helped organize my thoughts better than the 10 different legal pads I would jump between. Still disorganized, but at least now my notes for a single topic are in one place. For a calendar, my wife hung this acrylic calendar on the kitchen wall and we update it at the beginning of every month. I try to add things as they come up, and I often forget to add things if they are in future months, but it's helped for me to keep track of family arrangements. Any personal appointments I make on my own I try to put immediately into my google calendar, and then my work calendar is completely separate. As I'm typing this I realize I rely heavily on others to manage most of my time...
  - thunkshift1 3y ago
    Which notepad?

Pikamander2 3y ago

I don't see why any of that would be excessive or exclusive to people with ADHD. Neurotypical people forget important stuff all the time and would also benefit from good organizational skills and reminders about important deadlines.

Bjartr 3y ago

I recently started talking to a therapist again after several years not, this time focusing on ADHD. I never realized until now the sheer number of little tweaks I've integrated into my thinking and behavior, nor the degree to which I've optimized them all for maximum likelihood of actually getting stuff done. No one approach works consistently, but every now and then I get lucky and one does, and that's a real improvement over not doing them.

deafpolygon 3y ago

> For instance, someone might excessively rely on calendars, to-do lists, or alarms to compensate for forgetfulness." Holy objects. Can't survive with any of these things. I have 2 calendars running (it's actually only one, but I have Outlook mobile installed, plus Apple Calendar- they sync to the same calendar , I get two separate notifications for everything so I can't just dismiss them as easily).

deleted 3y ago

[deleted]