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I treat strangers like I want to be treated: ignore me unless you have a reason to talk to me. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of extroverts telling us we nee

I treat strangers like I want to be treated: ignore me unless you have a reason to talk to me. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of extroverts telling us we need to change because they think the situations that make them happy are the default and best way for the world to be.

supertofu 3y ago
This is a bit bluntly stated, but I agree wholeheartedly. I am an introvert who enjoys social interaction occasionally, but it must be meaningful in order not to be a draining experience. I have often felt like the nectar for a hungry extravert to feed on, and when they are done with me, it turns out they never actually cared about ~me~; they just needed to feed on the social interaction with me to gain energy for themselves. I was just a means to an end for them. As an introvert who craves meaningful connection, I have found myself being used and drained by extraverts countless times. I am as a consequence very wary of them.
- deleted 3y ago
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- willemlaurentz 3y ago
  > I have often felt like the nectar for a hungry extravert to feed on, and when they are done with me, it turns out they never actually cared about ~me~; they just needed to feed on the social interaction with me to gain energy for themselves. I was just a means to an end for them. This is a striking metaphor! Although I do try to gauge willingness to talk *before* actually engaging in a conversation I will keep your comparison in mind. I don't want to feed on anybody's nectar, so to speak. :-)
  - supertofu 3y ago
    You sound like a compassionate and thoughtful person! I think I have just had the misfortune of being exposed to a lot of people with less consideration.
- Yodel0914 3y ago
  > it turns out they never actually cared about ~me~; they just needed to feed on the social interaction with me to gain energy for themselves This rings very true. I have often in the past misread a conversation as sign of friendship; whereas for many people it was just something to do to fill in time.
willemlaurentz 3y ago
I am sorry if my post came over as if I wanted to tell you to change; that is never my intention. Please be exactly as you want to be. Taking your feedback into account I will try to get this nuance better in my writing, but please forgive me as I am "just an amateur with a blog". :-)
ThrowAway1922A 3y ago
I'm an introvert and sick of the increasingly closed off world. I come from a place where casual, but ultimately meaningless chats happen all the time and I enjoyed them. They were simple interactions where it didn't really matter if you messed up or not and they took basically no energy. Didn't want to partake? You didn't have to reciprocate. The society we are building now where everyone retreats into their own world all the time is disturbing. We tell people to "just go meet people" when they're feeling down, yet there is increasingly nowhere to do that!

supertofu 3y ago

This is a bit bluntly stated, but I agree wholeheartedly. I am an introvert who enjoys social interaction occasionally, but it must be meaningful in order not to be a draining experience. I have often felt like the nectar for a hungry extravert to feed on, and when they are done with me, it turns out they never actually cared about ~me~; they just needed to feed on the social interaction with me to gain energy for themselves. I was just a means to an end for them. As an introvert who craves meaningful connection, I have found myself being used and drained by extraverts countless times. I am as a consequence very wary of them.

deleted 3y ago
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willemlaurentz 3y ago
> I have often felt like the nectar for a hungry extravert to feed on, and when they are done with me, it turns out they never actually cared about ~me~; they just needed to feed on the social interaction with me to gain energy for themselves. I was just a means to an end for them. This is a striking metaphor! Although I do try to gauge willingness to talk *before* actually engaging in a conversation I will keep your comparison in mind. I don't want to feed on anybody's nectar, so to speak. :-)
- supertofu 3y ago
  You sound like a compassionate and thoughtful person! I think I have just had the misfortune of being exposed to a lot of people with less consideration.
Yodel0914 3y ago
> it turns out they never actually cared about ~me~; they just needed to feed on the social interaction with me to gain energy for themselves This rings very true. I have often in the past misread a conversation as sign of friendship; whereas for many people it was just something to do to fill in time.

willemlaurentz 3y ago

I am sorry if my post came over as if I wanted to tell you to change; that is never my intention. Please be exactly as you want to be. Taking your feedback into account I will try to get this nuance better in my writing, but please forgive me as I am "just an amateur with a blog". :-)

ThrowAway1922A 3y ago

I'm an introvert and sick of the increasingly closed off world. I come from a place where casual, but ultimately meaningless chats happen all the time and I enjoyed them. They were simple interactions where it didn't really matter if you messed up or not and they took basically no energy. Didn't want to partake? You didn't have to reciprocate. The society we are building now where everyone retreats into their own world all the time is disturbing. We tell people to "just go meet people" when they're feeling down, yet there is increasingly nowhere to do that!