3 ms·

I've always found it strange that American parents immediately kick out their children at the age of 18 I'm not sure where you got that idea, but that's an ina

by geph2021 3y ago

I've always found it strange that American parents immediately kick out their children at the age of 18 I'm not sure where you got that idea, but that's an inaccurate, incredibly broad generalization. I would say that the historical impetus for kids moving out at 18 has been due to graduating from high school and "going off to college".

DamnYuppie 3y ago
Doubtful. Most people did not go to college when this policy was more normal than it is today. When my father turned 18 in the early 60's he was told he had to leave home. The impetus was to get out in the world and start making money. So I was told the same thing when I was young that when I turn 18 I would have to leave. It was stressful to be honest but overall I am not sure it is a bad thing. The old adage of a baby bird will never fly if it isn't kicked from the nest seems to best encapsulate this idea and how it was present and executed to me. While jarring and terrifying it is ultimately for their own benefit.
- geph2021 3y ago
  That does sound stressful. At least it seems like you've been able to retrospectively find some positive. But I've literally never heard of kids being told they had to leave home at 18, unless it's the foster care system where kids "age out" (even then, laws have changed recently to extend this to 21). As a parent, I cannot imagine telling my kids they have to leave, especially at a relatively very young age/maturity. Our kids leaving home comes up occasionally in conversations, most commonly perhaps with the typically exasperated parent retort of the genre of "well you can decide differently when you live on your own!" But even then, my kids have said things like "what if I don't want to live on my own?" And we always follow up with: "Then you can stay here as long as you want. This will always be your home." I really don't feel like our attitude in this respect is different from most other parents we know. But of course families can be very different, and I'm now aware that your experience may be more common that I previously thought. Thanks for sharing.
- seanmcdirmid 3y ago
  I don't think that is representative of most American families. Most of the time, it is the kid who wants to leave their parents house to be independent rather than the other way around. I stayed in my house one year after I turned 18, and it was a huge mistake, especially since I was commuting almost 2 hours a day to university, but also...well, rent wasn't that high back then...I found a room for $215/month near UW in 1994. These days I don't think that value proposition exists anymore.

DamnYuppie 3y ago

Doubtful. Most people did not go to college when this policy was more normal than it is today. When my father turned 18 in the early 60's he was told he had to leave home. The impetus was to get out in the world and start making money. So I was told the same thing when I was young that when I turn 18 I would have to leave. It was stressful to be honest but overall I am not sure it is a bad thing. The old adage of a baby bird will never fly if it isn't kicked from the nest seems to best encapsulate this idea and how it was present and executed to me. While jarring and terrifying it is ultimately for their own benefit.

geph2021 3y ago
That does sound stressful. At least it seems like you've been able to retrospectively find some positive. But I've literally never heard of kids being told they had to leave home at 18, unless it's the foster care system where kids "age out" (even then, laws have changed recently to extend this to 21). As a parent, I cannot imagine telling my kids they have to leave, especially at a relatively very young age/maturity. Our kids leaving home comes up occasionally in conversations, most commonly perhaps with the typically exasperated parent retort of the genre of "well you can decide differently when you live on your own!" But even then, my kids have said things like "what if I don't want to live on my own?" And we always follow up with: "Then you can stay here as long as you want. This will always be your home." I really don't feel like our attitude in this respect is different from most other parents we know. But of course families can be very different, and I'm now aware that your experience may be more common that I previously thought. Thanks for sharing.
seanmcdirmid 3y ago
I don't think that is representative of most American families. Most of the time, it is the kid who wants to leave their parents house to be independent rather than the other way around. I stayed in my house one year after I turned 18, and it was a huge mistake, especially since I was commuting almost 2 hours a day to university, but also...well, rent wasn't that high back then...I found a room for $215/month near UW in 1994. These days I don't think that value proposition exists anymore.