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When you're young (think HS and college aged), difficulty seems indeed to be the "ultimate" prestige. If you're a musician, that means playing that most techni

When you're young (think HS and college aged), difficulty seems indeed to be the "ultimate" prestige. If you're a musician, that means playing that most technically advanced piece flawlessly. If you're an athlete, that means raw ability like speed, strength, etc. If you're a mathematician, that means having a go at some unsolved/open problem. If you're in the military, that means joining the special forces or becoming a fighter pilot. As the author said, when you're young, you often only get judged on one or two objectives. When applying for college, that's GPA and SAT - so you will optimize for those two, and little else. All this works out for young people, because if there's one thing they tend to have, it is time to grind. And lots of it. One thing I've noticed with young and ambitious employees, is that many need constant feedback. If they don't get any direct feedback immediately, they feel left out in the cold, and don't know how to react. Where I work, we often get inquiries from clients, and 80% of the time there's zero feedback. We produce reports / presentations / recommendations, ship to the clients, and that's it. IF we get something back, it is because they want to go forward with something, and need follow-up work. For the ambitious types that have gotten feedback their whole lives, that can be a hard pill to swallow - it really takes some "unlearning" to get comfortable to work in that environment.

yodsanklai 3y ago
> Where I work, we often get inquiries from clients, and 80% of the time there's zero feedback. Even worse if the rewards aren't aligned with your performance (e.g. teaching jobs), or if you're not able to perform well because the type of work you do isn't what you excel in.
johnnyanmac 3y ago
>One thing I've noticed with young and ambitious employees, is that many need constant feedback. If they don't get any direct feedback immediately, they feel left out in the cold, and don't know how to react. It's an increasingly cold world and some young people may legit get zero feedback outside of work. Ghosted on dating scene, ghosted by the remaining friends post graduation, and now feeling ignored at work. Add on no third place to go to and how work is increasingly ceasing to be a second place with wfh and you just have a loneliness sandwich. They spend 18-20 years having people their age all around them and then it poofs up in smoke. I'm sure they want some kind of feedback in the one remaining place that is now taking up more and more of their time.
- nick222226 3y ago
  Is it true that their friends ghost after graduation? I thought they would have more contact through Snapchat etc. Do you have personal acquaintances who had that happen. Im older, 30s but I felt that friend contact really fell off after moving away from SF former room mates and startup friends.
  - lloydatkinson 3y ago
    Everyone I knew at uni stopped talking after a while.
    - lacrimacida 3y ago
      Probably because they didn’t make any friendships or they were too shallow and time/distance killed them.
    - guappa 3y ago
      I went to university and I'm not mute yet… should I be worried? :D
  - TrackerFF 3y ago
    Someone, I don't remember who, said that friendships are fleeing products of time and place. Meaning that many friendships are mainly the result of where you are (e.g. university) at a certain time (e.g. youth) in your life. When those things change, friendships may cease to exist. People move away, and grow away from each others - it is a sad fact of life, but it is what it is. I had friendships in college which I felt were going to last my entire life - you really felt close to those people. Struggling together in the reading halls and labs, going out to pubs in the evening, and just chilling with movies on the weekends. But then life happened, people move away, and you lose contact. Maybe one part tries to keep in touch, but you with work, family, and what not - it is not always a two-way street. Then you bump into each others, 5-10-15-20 years later, and the magic is gone. Or maybe not, I've bumped into people I haven't seen in ages and we picked up were we left things. Same goes for work - or dare I say - especially for work.
  - 3y ago
reg_dunlop 3y ago
"I never let my schooling get in the way of my education"
Kye 3y ago
>> "If you're a musician, that means playing that most technically advanced piece flawlessly." Illustrated (not my video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gqF_bkP6N0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gqF_bkP6N0 People think pop music is "easy" because it's simple. In reality, it's accessible, and that's hard. Making something hundreds of millions of people can enjoy means keeping it simple and repetitive without being boring. I can make wild melodies and exotic song structures all day. Easy, fun. Seems hard and praiseworthy if you don't know much about making music. Making one 8-16 bar loop stretch out for three minutes without putting you to sleep...that's hard.

yodsanklai 3y ago

> Where I work, we often get inquiries from clients, and 80% of the time there's zero feedback. Even worse if the rewards aren't aligned with your performance (e.g. teaching jobs), or if you're not able to perform well because the type of work you do isn't what you excel in.

johnnyanmac 3y ago

>One thing I've noticed with young and ambitious employees, is that many need constant feedback. If they don't get any direct feedback immediately, they feel left out in the cold, and don't know how to react. It's an increasingly cold world and some young people may legit get zero feedback outside of work. Ghosted on dating scene, ghosted by the remaining friends post graduation, and now feeling ignored at work. Add on no third place to go to and how work is increasingly ceasing to be a second place with wfh and you just have a loneliness sandwich. They spend 18-20 years having people their age all around them and then it poofs up in smoke. I'm sure they want some kind of feedback in the one remaining place that is now taking up more and more of their time.

nick222226 3y ago
Is it true that their friends ghost after graduation? I thought they would have more contact through Snapchat etc. Do you have personal acquaintances who had that happen. Im older, 30s but I felt that friend contact really fell off after moving away from SF former room mates and startup friends.
- lloydatkinson 3y ago
  Everyone I knew at uni stopped talking after a while.
  - lacrimacida 3y ago
    Probably because they didn’t make any friendships or they were too shallow and time/distance killed them.
  - guappa 3y ago
    I went to university and I'm not mute yet… should I be worried? :D
- TrackerFF 3y ago
  Someone, I don't remember who, said that friendships are fleeing products of time and place. Meaning that many friendships are mainly the result of where you are (e.g. university) at a certain time (e.g. youth) in your life. When those things change, friendships may cease to exist. People move away, and grow away from each others - it is a sad fact of life, but it is what it is. I had friendships in college which I felt were going to last my entire life - you really felt close to those people. Struggling together in the reading halls and labs, going out to pubs in the evening, and just chilling with movies on the weekends. But then life happened, people move away, and you lose contact. Maybe one part tries to keep in touch, but you with work, family, and what not - it is not always a two-way street. Then you bump into each others, 5-10-15-20 years later, and the magic is gone. Or maybe not, I've bumped into people I haven't seen in ages and we picked up were we left things. Same goes for work - or dare I say - especially for work.
- 3y ago

reg_dunlop 3y ago

"I never let my schooling get in the way of my education"

Kye 3y ago

>> "If you're a musician, that means playing that most technically advanced piece flawlessly." Illustrated (not my video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gqF_bkP6N0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gqF_bkP6N0 People think pop music is "easy" because it's simple. In reality, it's accessible, and that's hard. Making something hundreds of millions of people can enjoy means keeping it simple and repetitive without being boring. I can make wild melodies and exotic song structures all day. Easy, fun. Seems hard and praiseworthy if you don't know much about making music. Making one 8-16 bar loop stretch out for three minutes without putting you to sleep...that's hard.