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Mental health. I recently passed out in public and had to finally admit to myself that I’m severely burnt out. I had ignored the signs and mentally written off

by kbf 3y ago

Mental health. I recently passed out in public and had to finally admit to myself that I’m severely burnt out. I had ignored the signs and mentally written off the concept of burnout as a bit of a wishy-washy mostly “emotional” concept and not as the very real psychological AND physiological condition that doesn’t just go away if you get a good nights sleep and a day off. It was emotional to actually read up on it and realize my disillusionment with work, deteriorating relationships and steady decline in my ability to carry out daily tasks weren’t signs of a personal lack of interest or effort, but an inevitability resulting from the position I had put myself in.

manuelisimo 3y ago
You are not alone! I have been dealing with burnout since the pandemic began. For me it was the inability to focus on the simplest tasks that made me realize I could no longer ignore the problem. Therapy has helped a lot.
justin_oaks 3y ago
The world is slowly realizing that the advice to "suck it up", "tough it out", "walk it off", "man up", etc. aren't helpful. Real problems need real solutions, not platitudes. I'm sorry you've gone through this. I quit a previous job with no other job lined up because of burnout. Fortunately, I could afford the 4 month gap in employment. My heart aches for those who can't.
- woile 3y ago
  That's true, it's important to recognize the problems and start working on them. It sucks that you had to quit. I was advising the same to my girlfriend because she couldn't bear with work anymore, until a friend told her that she should not quit and instead the company should pay the burnout because they put her in that situation. Luckily she didn't follow my advise and it's been in burnout leave for the last 6 months, with help from a therapist.
Minor49er 3y ago
Longhorn PHP in Austin, Texas wrapped up just a couple of days ago. One of the keynote talks was titled "Stronger Than Fear: Mental Health in the Developer Community" by Ed Finkler. It outlined why these things not only need to be talked about, but also taken seriously: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYPAGuh6Le8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYPAGuh6Le8
- remyp 3y ago
  Thanks for this, I really needed it.
- gytdev 3y ago
  thanks, I took a walk and listened to this. This is so relatable <3
amelius 3y ago
> that doesn’t just go away if you get a good nights sleep and a day off Try to sleep (or at least stay in bed) 10+ hours a day, consistently for a few weeks.
- all2 3y ago
  If I don't get enough sleep (10ish hours in bed) I crash rather quickly. Long covid sucks.
rustyboy 3y ago
> my disillusionment with work, deteriorating relationships and steady decline in my ability to carry out daily tasks weren’t signs of a personal lack of interest or effort, but an inevitability resulting from the position I had put myself in. Wow this is exactly what i'm suffering from right now... I recently thought about applying to a more serious tech team at my company given i've slowly slipped into a basic DBA/PM roll. But i'm worried it's only going to make it worse. What does the science or your peers say is the key to getting help?
RationalDino 3y ago
Mental health for me as well. That's the point of https://rationaldino.substack.com/ https://rationaldino.substack.com/ and this pseudonymous account. Separately I have other children who were impacted by COVID and lockdowns and are part of https://jonathanhaidt.substack.com/p/mental-health-liberal-girls https://jonathanhaidt.substack.com/p/mental-health-liberal-g.... That's also been hard. All of this is made more complicated by the fact that I regard psychology as having a lot of pseudoscience in it. Feynman was right to call them that in https://calteches.library.caltech.edu/51/2/CargoCult.htm https://calteches.library.caltech.edu/51/2/CargoCult.htm. It took them 40 years to realize that he was right about the importance of replication. But they still haven't accepted the rest of what he said.
- RecycledEle 3y ago
  For anyone dealing with mental health things, see https://www.therapistaid.com/ https://www.therapistaid.com/ You can work through most of the worksheets online for free, and it helped me understand mental health better than I ever had. I think they charge $9 per month to download PDFs of the worksheets, which is cheaper than therapy with a professional confuser. I am not affiliated with them, and I do not make money off them. I am a former customer.
  - RationalDino 3y ago
    Thank you for the recommend. Given where I now am, I don't believe that I need this. But it is a resource I will likely forward to others.
brainless 3y ago
Sending a big hug over the protocol stack of the Internet. We neglect the signs because our society tells us so, but now that you have started noticing them, I am sure you will find the balance you need for a happy life.
fillskills 3y ago
Created HealingGardens.co after such an episode myself. If you want to chat just DM me
aramndrt 3y ago
Could you please elaborate on why you think you passed out or what led up to that incident? Whenever I'm particularly stressed, I tend to become very light-headed or dizzy to the point where it feels like I'm about to pass out, but I never do. I've had this on and off for years. I'm only 26 years old.
- XCSme 3y ago
  I have the same thing, one weird connection I realized was: coffee. Apart from the stress of being a solopreneur, I noticed whenever I had coffee, I ended up being anxious/panicky later in the day. It might be placebo, but since I stopped drinking coffee, I rarely have those intense feelings of anxiety.
- nuancebydefault 3y ago
  Usually it is the way of breathing that changes, because of anxiety (fight or flight state). The pace and volume becomes imbalanced with respect to the oxygen / co2 needed, even when no hyperventilating seems to be happening. This imbalance causes lightheadedness and ultimately dizzyness or passing out. One trick that can help, when you feel like that, breathe in deeply and the breathe out very very slowly through a fine opening between the lips. Then pause several seconds and repeat. This can be done without anyone noticing, because it is subtle and slow.
uncrushed 3y ago
I feel so seen. And the first time I created an account here to respond to a message after lurking for many years. I am off work due to burnout after having recently understood that was what I was experiencing. People are talking about therapy and while I’m in therapy I find that it could benefit from someone who actually understands working in Tech/SaaS. Wonder if others here have felt this while talking to therapists and what they’ve done about it.

by kbf 3y ago

manuelisimo 3y ago

You are not alone! I have been dealing with burnout since the pandemic began. For me it was the inability to focus on the simplest tasks that made me realize I could no longer ignore the problem. Therapy has helped a lot.

justin_oaks 3y ago

The world is slowly realizing that the advice to "suck it up", "tough it out", "walk it off", "man up", etc. aren't helpful. Real problems need real solutions, not platitudes. I'm sorry you've gone through this. I quit a previous job with no other job lined up because of burnout. Fortunately, I could afford the 4 month gap in employment. My heart aches for those who can't.

woile 3y ago
That's true, it's important to recognize the problems and start working on them. It sucks that you had to quit. I was advising the same to my girlfriend because she couldn't bear with work anymore, until a friend told her that she should not quit and instead the company should pay the burnout because they put her in that situation. Luckily she didn't follow my advise and it's been in burnout leave for the last 6 months, with help from a therapist.

Minor49er 3y ago

Longhorn PHP in Austin, Texas wrapped up just a couple of days ago. One of the keynote talks was titled "Stronger Than Fear: Mental Health in the Developer Community" by Ed Finkler. It outlined why these things not only need to be talked about, but also taken seriously: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYPAGuh6Le8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYPAGuh6Le8

remyp 3y ago
Thanks for this, I really needed it.
gytdev 3y ago
thanks, I took a walk and listened to this. This is so relatable <3

amelius 3y ago

> that doesn’t just go away if you get a good nights sleep and a day off Try to sleep (or at least stay in bed) 10+ hours a day, consistently for a few weeks.

all2 3y ago
If I don't get enough sleep (10ish hours in bed) I crash rather quickly. Long covid sucks.

rustyboy 3y ago

> my disillusionment with work, deteriorating relationships and steady decline in my ability to carry out daily tasks weren’t signs of a personal lack of interest or effort, but an inevitability resulting from the position I had put myself in. Wow this is exactly what i'm suffering from right now... I recently thought about applying to a more serious tech team at my company given i've slowly slipped into a basic DBA/PM roll. But i'm worried it's only going to make it worse. What does the science or your peers say is the key to getting help?

RationalDino 3y ago

Mental health for me as well. That's the point of https://rationaldino.substack.com/ https://rationaldino.substack.com/ and this pseudonymous account. Separately I have other children who were impacted by COVID and lockdowns and are part of https://jonathanhaidt.substack.com/p/mental-health-liberal-girls https://jonathanhaidt.substack.com/p/mental-health-liberal-g.... That's also been hard. All of this is made more complicated by the fact that I regard psychology as having a lot of pseudoscience in it. Feynman was right to call them that in https://calteches.library.caltech.edu/51/2/CargoCult.htm https://calteches.library.caltech.edu/51/2/CargoCult.htm. It took them 40 years to realize that he was right about the importance of replication. But they still haven't accepted the rest of what he said.

RecycledEle 3y ago
For anyone dealing with mental health things, see https://www.therapistaid.com/ https://www.therapistaid.com/ You can work through most of the worksheets online for free, and it helped me understand mental health better than I ever had. I think they charge $9 per month to download PDFs of the worksheets, which is cheaper than therapy with a professional confuser. I am not affiliated with them, and I do not make money off them. I am a former customer.
- RationalDino 3y ago
  Thank you for the recommend. Given where I now am, I don't believe that I need this. But it is a resource I will likely forward to others.

brainless 3y ago

Sending a big hug over the protocol stack of the Internet. We neglect the signs because our society tells us so, but now that you have started noticing them, I am sure you will find the balance you need for a happy life.

fillskills 3y ago

Created HealingGardens.co after such an episode myself. If you want to chat just DM me

aramndrt 3y ago

Could you please elaborate on why you think you passed out or what led up to that incident? Whenever I'm particularly stressed, I tend to become very light-headed or dizzy to the point where it feels like I'm about to pass out, but I never do. I've had this on and off for years. I'm only 26 years old.

XCSme 3y ago
I have the same thing, one weird connection I realized was: coffee. Apart from the stress of being a solopreneur, I noticed whenever I had coffee, I ended up being anxious/panicky later in the day. It might be placebo, but since I stopped drinking coffee, I rarely have those intense feelings of anxiety.
nuancebydefault 3y ago
Usually it is the way of breathing that changes, because of anxiety (fight or flight state). The pace and volume becomes imbalanced with respect to the oxygen / co2 needed, even when no hyperventilating seems to be happening. This imbalance causes lightheadedness and ultimately dizzyness or passing out. One trick that can help, when you feel like that, breathe in deeply and the breathe out very very slowly through a fine opening between the lips. Then pause several seconds and repeat. This can be done without anyone noticing, because it is subtle and slow.

uncrushed 3y ago

I feel so seen. And the first time I created an account here to respond to a message after lurking for many years. I am off work due to burnout after having recently understood that was what I was experiencing. People are talking about therapy and while I’m in therapy I find that it could benefit from someone who actually understands working in Tech/SaaS. Wonder if others here have felt this while talking to therapists and what they’ve done about it.