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Honestly I have found that I have been able to complete more personal projects since I've had kids.

by oaththrowaway 3y ago

charlie0 3y ago
How?
- oaththrowaway 3y ago
  I'm not sure. It's probably a mental switch? Something happened pretty early on after my first kid and I really buckled down and focused on my career and personal goals and I've made the time. I do play a lot less video games though, I'm sure that helps as well.
  - sho_hn 3y ago
    I've heard from other Dads that having a kid vastly improved their time management skills and they only realized after how much time they were leaving unused before. Even with kids, the over-under shakes out better for them. May be a muscle you train, so to speak.
dottjt 3y ago
At what age were your children that you were able to regain a lot of that personal time? The only thing that's really helped (at least in the early stages) is sleeping in shifts + biphasic sleeping. That provides me with ample time to do my own projects, assuming that the baby hasn't regressed for that day and doesn't consume all that time (which if I'm being very fair, has been a bit of an angel.)
- ane 3y ago
  It got worse after they started moving, walking, running, talking, demanding, arguing, fighting, yelling... Yours is immobile for a while still, try to enjoy that while you can. Probably gets easier when they are in school. But you'll be at work then.
  - lolinder 3y ago
    As a counterpoint, with our two older kids (we have a baby too), I felt like my time was most drained during the 0-6 months stage. After that we got into good routines with them sleeping for 12 hours at night, and that brought back most of my most precious time. My oldest is 5, and we're just now reaching the point where he's wanting to stay up later into our adult time, but in my experience there are a lot of comfortable years that were better than the immobile stage.
- wood_spirit 3y ago
  Wife and baby will always come first, projects after. And that is a good prioritisation. But after the first 6 months or so there does gradually become those slots where you can pick up a project without neglecting the important people in your life. And, if you’re lucky, one day your kids join in your projects and solder on next to you in companionable silence :)
MisterTea 3y ago
It sounds like having kids forced you to better utilize what little free time you could find. I have found that having too much free time as a result of having few if any social obligations lets you invest time in more frivolous things. Do that long enough and you begin to loose focus on important tasks or goals allowing you to leave things unfinished because "there's plenty of time in the future" but that future never comes.
- oaththrowaway 3y ago
  That's probably exactly what happened. My time became more valuable and so I prioritized. I also got really good at getting things done in bursts.

Honestly I have found that I have been able to complete more personal projects since I've had kids.

charlie0 3y ago

How?

oaththrowaway 3y ago
I'm not sure. It's probably a mental switch? Something happened pretty early on after my first kid and I really buckled down and focused on my career and personal goals and I've made the time. I do play a lot less video games though, I'm sure that helps as well.
- sho_hn 3y ago
  I've heard from other Dads that having a kid vastly improved their time management skills and they only realized after how much time they were leaving unused before. Even with kids, the over-under shakes out better for them. May be a muscle you train, so to speak.

dottjt 3y ago

At what age were your children that you were able to regain a lot of that personal time? The only thing that's really helped (at least in the early stages) is sleeping in shifts + biphasic sleeping. That provides me with ample time to do my own projects, assuming that the baby hasn't regressed for that day and doesn't consume all that time (which if I'm being very fair, has been a bit of an angel.)

ane 3y ago
It got worse after they started moving, walking, running, talking, demanding, arguing, fighting, yelling... Yours is immobile for a while still, try to enjoy that while you can. Probably gets easier when they are in school. But you'll be at work then.
- lolinder 3y ago
  As a counterpoint, with our two older kids (we have a baby too), I felt like my time was most drained during the 0-6 months stage. After that we got into good routines with them sleeping for 12 hours at night, and that brought back most of my most precious time. My oldest is 5, and we're just now reaching the point where he's wanting to stay up later into our adult time, but in my experience there are a lot of comfortable years that were better than the immobile stage.
wood_spirit 3y ago
Wife and baby will always come first, projects after. And that is a good prioritisation. But after the first 6 months or so there does gradually become those slots where you can pick up a project without neglecting the important people in your life. And, if you’re lucky, one day your kids join in your projects and solder on next to you in companionable silence :)

MisterTea 3y ago

It sounds like having kids forced you to better utilize what little free time you could find. I have found that having too much free time as a result of having few if any social obligations lets you invest time in more frivolous things. Do that long enough and you begin to loose focus on important tasks or goals allowing you to leave things unfinished because "there's plenty of time in the future" but that future never comes.

oaththrowaway 3y ago
That's probably exactly what happened. My time became more valuable and so I prioritized. I also got really good at getting things done in bursts.