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Why must I be entering middle age when the pendulum is swinging towards prudery? This headline feels part of a larger trend towards boorish sobriety. I'm gonna

Why must I be entering middle age when the pendulum is swinging towards prudery? This headline feels part of a larger trend towards boorish sobriety. I'm gonna be 70 before we get free love again :(

happytoexplain 3y ago
I'm sympathetic to this concern and I sometimes battle it myself - but I do object to the romanticism of "free love". In my opinion - and in the opinion of some brilliant, loving people I know who lived it first-hand - free love was a failed experiment of idealism. It was a great experiment that we are better for having undertaken, but unmistakably and fundamentally incompatible with human psychology when applied on any kind of appreciable scale. Luckily, prudery is far from the only alternative.
- pdntspa 3y ago
  There are pockets of it still floating around and continuing in development... the ENM/polyamory communities provide a good framework for going about it in a manageable way. "The Ethical Slut" by Easton and Hardy is a very good book. I wish more people would be willing to challenge this part of themselves. It really opens up entirely new possibilities for sex and love. Plus, the emotional development that it forces on you is a huge green flag for dating in general.
  - surgical_fire 3y ago
    I am the opposite. I am no prude, but so many things seem to revolve about sex in modern times. There is so much more in the universe. Maybe I am too satisfied with my partner. The thought of being single, having to date again, and handle people and their insecurities once more is tiresome to day the least.
whatindaheck 3y ago
Agreed. A bit younger but I feel this way too. I group up incredibly religious/politically conserative (think Jesus Camp on Netflix). Between my immediate family and changes in how the general population has begun to view excessive sex/cursing/violence/etc. I’ve never really experienced a current era of, well, excessiveness. I love 70s movies for that reason. Utterly unrestrained. It’s not inherently better or worse. But I’ve never experienced a less-prude era while alive. To be clear. I don’t think wanting less sex is inherently prude though. Sometimes it’s a cheap way to “improve” writing without actually paying for talent.
- pdntspa 3y ago
  I would like to see it portrayed more accurately and realistically. But I despair more because I see these attitudes carrying over into everyday people and their sensibilities. Prudishness in entertainment creates more prudishness in the people, who want more prudishness in entertainment, and so on, until the situation becomes so unbearable that an increasing number of people rebel and the trend starts to reverse. I am NOT saying that R-rated movies should be more pornographic or more like pornography. I agree that sex can be a cheap filler for more substantial writing. But humans can be very sexual creatures and the double standard we impose on ourselves in the name of traditional, "family" values, needs to die. I mean how the fuck did these families get made in the first place? It certainly wasn't from some stork. This is especially true given declining birth rates across the first world...

Why must I be entering middle age when the pendulum is swinging towards prudery? This headline feels part of a larger trend towards boorish sobriety. I'm gonna be 70 before we get free love again :(

happytoexplain 3y ago

I'm sympathetic to this concern and I sometimes battle it myself - but I do object to the romanticism of "free love". In my opinion - and in the opinion of some brilliant, loving people I know who lived it first-hand - free love was a failed experiment of idealism. It was a great experiment that we are better for having undertaken, but unmistakably and fundamentally incompatible with human psychology when applied on any kind of appreciable scale. Luckily, prudery is far from the only alternative.

pdntspa 3y ago
There are pockets of it still floating around and continuing in development... the ENM/polyamory communities provide a good framework for going about it in a manageable way. "The Ethical Slut" by Easton and Hardy is a very good book. I wish more people would be willing to challenge this part of themselves. It really opens up entirely new possibilities for sex and love. Plus, the emotional development that it forces on you is a huge green flag for dating in general.
- surgical_fire 3y ago
  I am the opposite. I am no prude, but so many things seem to revolve about sex in modern times. There is so much more in the universe. Maybe I am too satisfied with my partner. The thought of being single, having to date again, and handle people and their insecurities once more is tiresome to day the least.

whatindaheck 3y ago

Agreed. A bit younger but I feel this way too. I group up incredibly religious/politically conserative (think Jesus Camp on Netflix). Between my immediate family and changes in how the general population has begun to view excessive sex/cursing/violence/etc. I’ve never really experienced a current era of, well, excessiveness. I love 70s movies for that reason. Utterly unrestrained. It’s not inherently better or worse. But I’ve never experienced a less-prude era while alive. To be clear. I don’t think wanting less sex is inherently prude though. Sometimes it’s a cheap way to “improve” writing without actually paying for talent.

pdntspa 3y ago
I would like to see it portrayed more accurately and realistically. But I despair more because I see these attitudes carrying over into everyday people and their sensibilities. Prudishness in entertainment creates more prudishness in the people, who want more prudishness in entertainment, and so on, until the situation becomes so unbearable that an increasing number of people rebel and the trend starts to reverse. I am NOT saying that R-rated movies should be more pornographic or more like pornography. I agree that sex can be a cheap filler for more substantial writing. But humans can be very sexual creatures and the double standard we impose on ourselves in the name of traditional, "family" values, needs to die. I mean how the fuck did these families get made in the first place? It certainly wasn't from some stork. This is especially true given declining birth rates across the first world...