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Make a change. Something significant enough to be noticeable. Change your job. Change your relationship. Change the city where you live. Change your primary ho

Make a change. Something significant enough to be noticeable. Change your job. Change your relationship. Change the city where you live. Change your primary hobby. Change your friends. Go back to school or start a business. Go somewhere you've never been before, the further away the better. You don't have to (and probably shouldn't) do all of these, but you should probably do at least one of them. And changing your job seems to be one of the more effective and easiest ones, in my experience, and may naturally facilitate a few other changes as well. Also take a break before the change happens, if you can. Like tell a new job you'll be available to start two weeks after you quit the other job (don't word it like that, just say you'll be available to start like 4 weeks after accepting a job offer). You probably could use at least a couple of weeks, if not more, to not have to think about code.

i_like_pie1 3y ago
agree. well said we are all wired diff. adding 3 more - may or may not work for you but here we go: 1/ explore new ideas: read, go look at art in museum, play games. expose yourself to creative work of others 2/ read https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-25th-Anniversary/dp/0143129252 https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-25th-Anniversary/dp/01431... and do some of the exercises 3/ workout. if already doing it = ignore. if not = exercise. 5+ days/week tldr/same as OP: take action
rurp 3y ago
There's an old Simpsons quote that pops into my head fairly often. The hippie parents of a young Ned Flanders can't figure out how to get his behavior under control and tell a therapist, "We've tried nothin', and we're all out of ideas". It's actually a pretty common pattern to observe, where someone is really upset about an issue, but doesn't try anything to improve it. I think everyone falls into this trap at times, to varying degrees. Doing something about a problem, even if you aren't sure the best path, usually helps you feel better immediately and can often lead to a good solution sooner or later.
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
- itishappy 3y ago
  Original Scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkKwyjsJGxk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkKwyjsJGxk - O U T - O F - I D E A S - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHcqNVjGJN4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHcqNVjGJN4
sys_64738 3y ago
Change your text editor. You're never too young to learn how to use Emacs.
- croo 3y ago
  You meant vim, right? I know, a common typo.
  - I_complete_me 3y ago
    I went from vim to emacs and now I using them both on a daily basis. Really stuck, please help.
    - ksherlock 3y ago
      Ed, man! !man ed
    - sys_64738 3y ago
      https://github.com/emacs-evil/evil https://github.com/emacs-evil/evil
      - nequo 3y ago
        Matter, antimatter: https://github.com/sei40kr/nvimacs https://github.com/sei40kr/nvimacs
abhayhegde 3y ago
> Change your job. Change your relationship. Change the city where you live. Change your primary hobby. Change your friends. As much as I admire the sentiment here to change the surroundings that puts someone in the vicious cycle of negative thinking, most of these are impractical. Changing a job as easy as you say is a privilege most can't afford in my opinion.
- djdjsnj 3y ago
  Start with small changes, preferably ones you can walk back. I was in a rut and in sessions with a therapist became convinced that it was all my wife's fault. Now I don't have a wife and there's no hope of going back. A nebulous rut related to not having enough purpose or socialization in life has been replaced by a deep depression and crippling loneliness. Don't worry about the grass on the other side of the fence. Watering your own lawn is often better than moving on. My advice on how to dig yourself out of a rut - Spend a week focusing on making your loved ones' lives as happy and easy as possible. Removing a stressor from someone else's life will make you feel better about your own stressors. Making someone smile on the outside will make you smile on the inside.
  - shrimp_emoji 3y ago
    > Now I don't have a wife and there's no hope of going back. I don't understand. It sounds like the situation vastly improved.
  - andelink 3y ago
    Holy moly. What does that therapist suggest doing now?
  - cableshaft 3y ago
    Sorry you're in that situation :(. There's always risk when making big changes, and relationships are probably the toughest change to make, since it tends to be a permanent one, but for some people, it's also the one they need most. Sounds like it wasn't in your case, but unfortunately it can be hard to know for certain until you make the change, which sucks. I do wish that sometimes I could set a savepoint like in video games, try something different for a while, then be able to go back to the checkpoint if I'm not happy with the change. I'm sure I'd make more changes in my own life if I had the ability to do that.
amerkhalid 3y ago
> Change your job. Change your relationship. Change the city where you live. Change your primary hobby. Change your friends. Go back to school or start a business. Go somewhere you've never been before, the further away the better. Agreed. It worked for me, at least, when it came to job. I was feeling stuck in my last job. There was nothing to complain about but something didn't feel right. Switching job improved my mood 100%. Just a fair warning, after initial excitement of new job dies down, you may get buyer's remorse and miss your old job a lot. It was comfortable, you knew what you needed to do, you had built up respect and reputation. Now you will need to start over; just work hard through this period until it passes. Soon excitement and energy will return to you and you will be glad that you switched your job.
- mooonnnsooon 3y ago
  I second those who write about quiting and moving as a potential "buyers remorse" situation or just as a not-solution. I moved to a different country. Found a partner but the emotional heavyness is still in me. I am slowly waking up to the fact that I need friends that can handle my emotional state and who will support me. But how to find them in a new country ... You know, moving and changing is good(for some) but be careful with burning bridges.

i_like_pie1 3y ago

agree. well said we are all wired diff. adding 3 more - may or may not work for you but here we go: 1/ explore new ideas: read, go look at art in museum, play games. expose yourself to creative work of others 2/ read https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-25th-Anniversary/dp/0143129252 https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-25th-Anniversary/dp/01431... and do some of the exercises 3/ workout. if already doing it = ignore. if not = exercise. 5+ days/week tldr/same as OP: take action

rurp 3y ago

There's an old Simpsons quote that pops into my head fairly often. The hippie parents of a young Ned Flanders can't figure out how to get his behavior under control and tell a therapist, "We've tried nothin', and we're all out of ideas". It's actually a pretty common pattern to observe, where someone is really upset about an issue, but doesn't try anything to improve it. I think everyone falls into this trap at times, to varying degrees. Doing something about a problem, even if you aren't sure the best path, usually helps you feel better immediately and can often lead to a good solution sooner or later.

deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
itishappy 3y ago
Original Scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkKwyjsJGxk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkKwyjsJGxk - O U T - O F - I D E A S - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHcqNVjGJN4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHcqNVjGJN4

sys_64738 3y ago

Change your text editor. You're never too young to learn how to use Emacs.

croo 3y ago
You meant vim, right? I know, a common typo.
- I_complete_me 3y ago
  I went from vim to emacs and now I using them both on a daily basis. Really stuck, please help.
  - ksherlock 3y ago
    Ed, man! !man ed
  - sys_64738 3y ago
    https://github.com/emacs-evil/evil https://github.com/emacs-evil/evil
    - nequo 3y ago
      Matter, antimatter: https://github.com/sei40kr/nvimacs https://github.com/sei40kr/nvimacs

abhayhegde 3y ago

> Change your job. Change your relationship. Change the city where you live. Change your primary hobby. Change your friends. As much as I admire the sentiment here to change the surroundings that puts someone in the vicious cycle of negative thinking, most of these are impractical. Changing a job as easy as you say is a privilege most can't afford in my opinion.

djdjsnj 3y ago
Start with small changes, preferably ones you can walk back. I was in a rut and in sessions with a therapist became convinced that it was all my wife's fault. Now I don't have a wife and there's no hope of going back. A nebulous rut related to not having enough purpose or socialization in life has been replaced by a deep depression and crippling loneliness. Don't worry about the grass on the other side of the fence. Watering your own lawn is often better than moving on. My advice on how to dig yourself out of a rut - Spend a week focusing on making your loved ones' lives as happy and easy as possible. Removing a stressor from someone else's life will make you feel better about your own stressors. Making someone smile on the outside will make you smile on the inside.
- shrimp_emoji 3y ago
  > Now I don't have a wife and there's no hope of going back. I don't understand. It sounds like the situation vastly improved.
- andelink 3y ago
  Holy moly. What does that therapist suggest doing now?
- cableshaft 3y ago
  Sorry you're in that situation :(. There's always risk when making big changes, and relationships are probably the toughest change to make, since it tends to be a permanent one, but for some people, it's also the one they need most. Sounds like it wasn't in your case, but unfortunately it can be hard to know for certain until you make the change, which sucks. I do wish that sometimes I could set a savepoint like in video games, try something different for a while, then be able to go back to the checkpoint if I'm not happy with the change. I'm sure I'd make more changes in my own life if I had the ability to do that.

amerkhalid 3y ago

> Change your job. Change your relationship. Change the city where you live. Change your primary hobby. Change your friends. Go back to school or start a business. Go somewhere you've never been before, the further away the better. Agreed. It worked for me, at least, when it came to job. I was feeling stuck in my last job. There was nothing to complain about but something didn't feel right. Switching job improved my mood 100%. Just a fair warning, after initial excitement of new job dies down, you may get buyer's remorse and miss your old job a lot. It was comfortable, you knew what you needed to do, you had built up respect and reputation. Now you will need to start over; just work hard through this period until it passes. Soon excitement and energy will return to you and you will be glad that you switched your job.

mooonnnsooon 3y ago
I second those who write about quiting and moving as a potential "buyers remorse" situation or just as a not-solution. I moved to a different country. Found a partner but the emotional heavyness is still in me. I am slowly waking up to the fact that I need friends that can handle my emotional state and who will support me. But how to find them in a new country ... You know, moving and changing is good(for some) but be careful with burning bridges.