3 ms·

I'd love to read the papers cited there without having to buy that book. I wonder if what is defined as "support" is actually, meddling, undermining, and press

I'd love to read the papers cited there without having to buy that book. I wonder if what is defined as "support" is actually, meddling, undermining, and pressurzing children into fulfilling the parents needs.

sarkhan 3y ago
Well, it comes a lot of from the good stuff that involved parenting does. In other words, even taking kids to school in a car instead them walking (or at least on the bike, but their own feet still involved, therefore they are themselves 100% in control in going to school) is the support that is not the in the list of "support" but will be in the long run. I should mention, I do recognize the time constraints of current society.
btilly 3y ago
The book wasn't a compilation of independent research papers. It was produced out of a compilation of interviews done to better understand millionaires. Support was defined by the wealthy parent providing financial support, whether through a stipend, gifts, or whatever. It turned out that, despite the best of intentions, such support almost inevitably wound up with destructive emotional dynamics.
- KptMarchewa 3y ago
  "Financial" was the key missing word.
- londons_explore 3y ago
  But presumably it is also possible that some children were smart and successful, so therefore the parents didn't feel the need to provide so much support. Whereas others were perhaps struggling with everything so the parents gave much more support. Everyday example: the parents of disabled people dedicate almost everything they've got to help their children, and often end up poor and with a poor quality of life themselves as a result.
- blitzar 3y ago
  > It turned out that, despite the best of intentions, such support almost inevitably wound up with destructive emotional dynamics See the list of "self made" billionaires who started with a small loan of a couple 100 mil from their parents for examples.
  - Aeolun 3y ago
    A few people turning out well does not negate all the ones that failed. The US has a ton of millionaires, but only a few successes.
  - pfannkuchen 3y ago
    What’s an example? I thought the family safety net was a bigger factor in children from wealthy families starting riskier ventures earlier in life and perhaps serially. I’ve never heard of a company starting like you describe so I assume it isn’t that common, but maybe people just don’t talk about it much? Or maybe you are just exaggerating the loan magnitude by quite a lot?
WalterBright 3y ago
> without having to buy that book You can get the book for $2.74: https://www.amazon.com/Millionaire-Next-Door-Surprising-Americas/dp/1589795474/ https://www.amazon.com/Millionaire-Next-Door-Surprising-Amer... Unless there is some other reason you don't want to buy it?
- basch 3y ago
  Check the local library or their ebook app.
okwhateverdude 3y ago
https://archive.org/details/1996-the-millionaire-next-door https://archive.org/details/1996-the-millionaire-next-door Here you go.

sarkhan 3y ago

Well, it comes a lot of from the good stuff that involved parenting does. In other words, even taking kids to school in a car instead them walking (or at least on the bike, but their own feet still involved, therefore they are themselves 100% in control in going to school) is the support that is not the in the list of "support" but will be in the long run. I should mention, I do recognize the time constraints of current society.

btilly 3y ago

The book wasn't a compilation of independent research papers. It was produced out of a compilation of interviews done to better understand millionaires. Support was defined by the wealthy parent providing financial support, whether through a stipend, gifts, or whatever. It turned out that, despite the best of intentions, such support almost inevitably wound up with destructive emotional dynamics.

KptMarchewa 3y ago
"Financial" was the key missing word.
londons_explore 3y ago
But presumably it is also possible that some children were smart and successful, so therefore the parents didn't feel the need to provide so much support. Whereas others were perhaps struggling with everything so the parents gave much more support. Everyday example: the parents of disabled people dedicate almost everything they've got to help their children, and often end up poor and with a poor quality of life themselves as a result.
blitzar 3y ago
> It turned out that, despite the best of intentions, such support almost inevitably wound up with destructive emotional dynamics See the list of "self made" billionaires who started with a small loan of a couple 100 mil from their parents for examples.
- Aeolun 3y ago
  A few people turning out well does not negate all the ones that failed. The US has a ton of millionaires, but only a few successes.
- pfannkuchen 3y ago
  What’s an example? I thought the family safety net was a bigger factor in children from wealthy families starting riskier ventures earlier in life and perhaps serially. I’ve never heard of a company starting like you describe so I assume it isn’t that common, but maybe people just don’t talk about it much? Or maybe you are just exaggerating the loan magnitude by quite a lot?

WalterBright 3y ago

> without having to buy that book You can get the book for $2.74: https://www.amazon.com/Millionaire-Next-Door-Surprising-Americas/dp/1589795474/ https://www.amazon.com/Millionaire-Next-Door-Surprising-Amer... Unless there is some other reason you don't want to buy it?

basch 3y ago
Check the local library or their ebook app.

okwhateverdude 3y ago

https://archive.org/details/1996-the-millionaire-next-door https://archive.org/details/1996-the-millionaire-next-door Here you go.