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I used to run a web forum for friends from high school. Guys in tech making 300+k a year whining about how it's so hard to afford just the basics in America.

by RajT88 3y ago

I used to run a web forum for friends from high school. Guys in tech making 300+k a year whining about how it's so hard to afford just the basics in America. Also with wives with great careers. (The basics include 30-40k/year private school for grade schoolers) Without a single exception, the essentials which are non-negotiable to these folks are things they themselves grew up without. They all went to public school! With me! It's wild.

JumpCrisscross 3y ago
> the essentials which are non-negotiable to these folks are things they themselves grew up without. They all went to public school I recently had this conversation with a high school friend. We went to public schools, and both to college on scholarships. She is beyond her wits about how to afford $100k/kid/year in San Francisco for their private tennis lessons and tutoring and counselling and summer camps (where the kids come home at night?! So you also need a sitter?) and god knows what else. Like, it’s terrific you’re giving them these experiences. But it’s not a necessity.
- h0h0h0h0111 3y ago
  It's not a necessity, but also understandable that if you had that experience yourself you might feel you've failed as a parent if you can't provide that same experience (or better) for your child. Of course in reality that's not true.
  - pseudalopex 3y ago
    They didn't have that experience.
bugglebeetle 3y ago
Well, in this market, the median reality is more like 150K max with mandatory return to office in cities with housing shortages and very high cost of living. Maybe if your spouse makes the same you can afford a house, but otherwise, you’re being forced into a shit deal to prop up real estate valuations on commercial and rental properties.
TOGoS 3y ago
> Guys in tech making 300+k a year whining about how it's so hard to afford just the basics in America. Also with wives with great careers. I suppose it depends where you live, whether you own your own home, and how many kids you've popped out. I paid off my house in 5 years while making maybe 65k$/year on average, and with that out of the way, my current ~120k$/year provides enough that I find it difficult to invest fast enough (ADHD brain would rather be writing lisp interpreters than picking stonks). Do I worry about money? Sure. Health insurance costs could go up, I could lose my job, my kid could take up some expensive hobbies, like wanting to go to college someday. I realize I was pretty lucky to find a decent and steady (if underpaying) programming job a year after leaving college with no debt (inexpensive state college, parents paid for most of it), to time my decision to buy a house well (thanks for the free 8k$, Obama!), and to have the financial sense to pay that shit off ASAP. So I'm sympathetic to people making the same or less than me who have more debt or who have less fortunate family to support. But it's hard for me to imagine how someone making 300k$/year would have anything to complain about! Tech bros can work remotely, now. Get tf out of San Francisco and stop buying a 15$ latte every morning.
- RajT88 3y ago
  Let's just say, how many kids (generally 1 or 2) and where they lived (not that pricy in the scheme of things), and the cost of their houses were discussed. But also - where they lived, even if their housing prices were high for the area (500k home for one, maybe 350k for the other), that's the choice they made. They didn't have to; they felt living that way was again a must-have for some reason. As you can see, when you start adding up the numbers, these are not SFO/NYC paupers.
matwood 3y ago
> (The basics include 30-40k/year private school for grade schoolers) In addition to location and other comments, this is also a manifestation of the parents feeling the larger macroeconomic trends. The divide between haves and have nots, and the shrinking middle class are pushing parents to drive their kids to be upper class at all costs. Whether or not true, going to public school and community college (or no college at all gasp) looks to be parents to be setting their kids up for a life of struggle.

by RajT88 3y ago

JumpCrisscross 3y ago

> the essentials which are non-negotiable to these folks are things they themselves grew up without. They all went to public school I recently had this conversation with a high school friend. We went to public schools, and both to college on scholarships. She is beyond her wits about how to afford $100k/kid/year in San Francisco for their private tennis lessons and tutoring and counselling and summer camps (where the kids come home at night?! So you also need a sitter?) and god knows what else. Like, it’s terrific you’re giving them these experiences. But it’s not a necessity.

h0h0h0h0111 3y ago
It's not a necessity, but also understandable that if you had that experience yourself you might feel you've failed as a parent if you can't provide that same experience (or better) for your child. Of course in reality that's not true.
- pseudalopex 3y ago
  They didn't have that experience.

bugglebeetle 3y ago

Well, in this market, the median reality is more like 150K max with mandatory return to office in cities with housing shortages and very high cost of living. Maybe if your spouse makes the same you can afford a house, but otherwise, you’re being forced into a shit deal to prop up real estate valuations on commercial and rental properties.

TOGoS 3y ago

> Guys in tech making 300+k a year whining about how it's so hard to afford just the basics in America. Also with wives with great careers. I suppose it depends where you live, whether you own your own home, and how many kids you've popped out. I paid off my house in 5 years while making maybe 65k$/year on average, and with that out of the way, my current ~120k$/year provides enough that I find it difficult to invest fast enough (ADHD brain would rather be writing lisp interpreters than picking stonks). Do I worry about money? Sure. Health insurance costs could go up, I could lose my job, my kid could take up some expensive hobbies, like wanting to go to college someday. I realize I was pretty lucky to find a decent and steady (if underpaying) programming job a year after leaving college with no debt (inexpensive state college, parents paid for most of it), to time my decision to buy a house well (thanks for the free 8k$, Obama!), and to have the financial sense to pay that shit off ASAP. So I'm sympathetic to people making the same or less than me who have more debt or who have less fortunate family to support. But it's hard for me to imagine how someone making 300k$/year would have anything to complain about! Tech bros can work remotely, now. Get tf out of San Francisco and stop buying a 15$ latte every morning.

RajT88 3y ago
Let's just say, how many kids (generally 1 or 2) and where they lived (not that pricy in the scheme of things), and the cost of their houses were discussed. But also - where they lived, even if their housing prices were high for the area (500k home for one, maybe 350k for the other), that's the choice they made. They didn't have to; they felt living that way was again a must-have for some reason. As you can see, when you start adding up the numbers, these are not SFO/NYC paupers.

matwood 3y ago

> (The basics include 30-40k/year private school for grade schoolers) In addition to location and other comments, this is also a manifestation of the parents feeling the larger macroeconomic trends. The divide between haves and have nots, and the shrinking middle class are pushing parents to drive their kids to be upper class at all costs. Whether or not true, going to public school and community college (or no college at all gasp) looks to be parents to be setting their kids up for a life of struggle.