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I care for my children because they need it and are mine, not because they are my preferred hobby.
by nonethewiser 3y ago
I care for my children because they need it and are mine, not because they are my preferred hobby.
- toomuchtodo 3y agoI don't doubt that, but speaking as someone building a non profit in stealth that covers the cost of permanent birth control for folks who can't get it completely covered by health insurance (or who have to rely on medical tourism to obtain it), I've spoken to many folks who adamantly don't want children and not because they are lazy or don't want a challenge. Kids are a choice, not a mandatory checkbox. That is the thesis.
- sho_hn 3y ago> Kids are a choice, not a mandatory checkbox. That is the thesis. One I certainly agree with.
- nonethewiser 3y agoYou misunderstand my point. > Some people will enjoy the experience of raising kids, some will not. Thats not why people have kids. Even people that have kids (and dont regret it) would like to spend their time on other things if they could. People dont choose to have kids based on how they like to spend their time.
- devbent 3y ago> People dont choose to have kids based on how they like to spend their time. I did, I made a conscious thoughtful decision that I'd be trading off stuff I wanted to do and taking care of a child instead.
- sho_hn 3y ago> People dont choose to have kids based on how they like to spend their time. I'm not sure I agree, at least universally. How do you decide for children without thinking about the changes it'll make to your daily life and whether that's something you want to be doing? Of course there's plenty of people who have children because they feel it's expected of them, or economic necessity, or other external reasons.
- nonethewiser 3y agoIts called sacrifice. Enduring inconvenience or discomfort in favor of some greater cause. That’s not to say everyone should have kids or feel this way. But it’s ridiculous to suggest some people just like video games, or traveling, and others like missing work deadlines to care for their sick child (or everything else that goes with raising kids).
- kredd 3y agoSacrifice is a choice in this scenario. I think, I agree with the OP above, that one chooses to not to make that sacrifice (e.g. lifestyle change). Just the value of the sacrifice has been getting lower and lower every year for younger people.
- mensetmanusman 3y agoThe value of the sacrifice hasn’t changed, just the perceived value.
- paulryanrogers 3y agoThe amount one must sacrifice is rising, regardless of the pay off. Everyone has their own threshold, yet the minimum needed to birth and raise kids is going up while buying power is decreasing.
- nonethewiser 3y agoMy point is people are choosing kids because of a deeper responsibility and meaning. Not because the experience of raising kids is more fun than hanging out with friends or other alternatives. The parent in this scenario is not maximizing their enjoyment or personal satisfaction in the way someone choosing their hobbies is. That distinction did not seem observed when comparing the choice to raise children with the choice to spend free time other ways.
- devbent 3y ago