4 ms·

A community member trying to play therapist doesn’t usually go well. At the same time, being part of a community seems to be correlated with significantly bette

A community member trying to play therapist doesn’t usually go well. At the same time, being part of a community seems to be correlated with significantly better well-being for people with mental illness.

winternewt 3y ago
[flagged]
- axioms_End 3y ago
  Maybe, but having a friend and a bad therapist may end in dumping therapist and looking for another one, having friend as therapist for serious issues may end up in having no friend and being lonely.
- raducu 3y ago
  > A therapist trying to play therapist doesn't usually go well either. I've been in therapy for 7-8 years with 2 therapists (well, 4 but one was a couples therapist and 1 only for a few months). Therapy(as well as age, medication, stable life, high income, me doing a LOT of reading/active work) has (mostly) cured me of BPD. But after 1-2 year of therapy with each therapist I feel I don't get much from therapy and the therapist just uses me for a steady income. There's so much to say about therapists, ideally they would be great and some really are, but therapists also have their own issues, in my country I know A LOT of people who study psychology and want to become psychotherapists primarily to cure their own issues. I know about 10 people that became/are in the process of becoming therapists and I'd only use 1/10's services if I had to. I'm not saying that to bash therapists, we are all people and have our own issues and therapists don't have to be zen masters in order to help someone and you can learn a lot from different people (provided you have healthy boundaries). Anyway, as others have said, I feel that after some point therapists get comfortable into a paid-friend role and I'm not ok with that.
  - roflc0ptic 3y ago
    Therapists aren't supposed to use you for steady income. From a good therapist's perspective, if their clients continue to need therapy, they're failing.
    - tough 3y ago
      And yet the perversive incentives make them align to just do that. Why would any pharmaceutical invent the cure of a chronic diseases, if they can have you as a customer for life
      - winternewt 3y ago
        This is certainly a pattern that can set in (and it did last time I saw a therapist). But I do believe a most therapists start out with a good-faith intent to fix people. There's a lack of therapists and a long line of patients waiting for help so it's not like they will be out of a job anyway. The bigger problem is that there's very little scientific rigor in what they do. They don't have enough tools or skills to actually help me, because the science isn't there yet.
      - amelius 3y ago
        Maybe they don't do it for the income but for the intellectual challenge.
      - raducu 3y ago
        > the perversive incentives make them align to just do that. I don't think any therapist actively avoided helping me, but rather at some point they too get comfortable and sort of slack it off like "So what have you been doing/how was your week" sort of thing.
    - maleldil 3y ago
      There are mental illnesses that don't go away. You can manage them with medication and therapy, so why would you expect such patients to stop going to therapy.
  - 3y ago
- HPsquared 3y ago
  A therapist can go home at the end of the day, work in a team, etc. For regular people, the danger is at home. More stressful.
- taneq 3y ago
  If you’re looking for either of the two, it’s a given that things are already not going well, to the extent that you’ve decided to seek help.
rhaway84773 3y ago
Therapy and community are completely independent. Therapy might help with managing the issues caused by a lack of community, but that’s only one way it can help. Even if you have a great community life therapy can be extremely useful. The OP’s comment is the equivalent of saying “exercise is solving the problem of drinking too much soda”. It’s not wrong. Exercise can help alleviate some of the issues caused by drinking too much soda by helping reduce your possibly associated weight gain. But that doesn’t mean that if one weren’t drinking too much soda then exercise isn’t useful.

winternewt 3y ago

[flagged]

axioms_End 3y ago
Maybe, but having a friend and a bad therapist may end in dumping therapist and looking for another one, having friend as therapist for serious issues may end up in having no friend and being lonely.
raducu 3y ago
> A therapist trying to play therapist doesn't usually go well either. I've been in therapy for 7-8 years with 2 therapists (well, 4 but one was a couples therapist and 1 only for a few months). Therapy(as well as age, medication, stable life, high income, me doing a LOT of reading/active work) has (mostly) cured me of BPD. But after 1-2 year of therapy with each therapist I feel I don't get much from therapy and the therapist just uses me for a steady income. There's so much to say about therapists, ideally they would be great and some really are, but therapists also have their own issues, in my country I know A LOT of people who study psychology and want to become psychotherapists primarily to cure their own issues. I know about 10 people that became/are in the process of becoming therapists and I'd only use 1/10's services if I had to. I'm not saying that to bash therapists, we are all people and have our own issues and therapists don't have to be zen masters in order to help someone and you can learn a lot from different people (provided you have healthy boundaries). Anyway, as others have said, I feel that after some point therapists get comfortable into a paid-friend role and I'm not ok with that.
- roflc0ptic 3y ago
  Therapists aren't supposed to use you for steady income. From a good therapist's perspective, if their clients continue to need therapy, they're failing.
  - tough 3y ago
    And yet the perversive incentives make them align to just do that. Why would any pharmaceutical invent the cure of a chronic diseases, if they can have you as a customer for life
    - winternewt 3y ago
      This is certainly a pattern that can set in (and it did last time I saw a therapist). But I do believe a most therapists start out with a good-faith intent to fix people. There's a lack of therapists and a long line of patients waiting for help so it's not like they will be out of a job anyway. The bigger problem is that there's very little scientific rigor in what they do. They don't have enough tools or skills to actually help me, because the science isn't there yet.
    - amelius 3y ago
      Maybe they don't do it for the income but for the intellectual challenge.
    - raducu 3y ago
      > the perversive incentives make them align to just do that. I don't think any therapist actively avoided helping me, but rather at some point they too get comfortable and sort of slack it off like "So what have you been doing/how was your week" sort of thing.
  - maleldil 3y ago
    There are mental illnesses that don't go away. You can manage them with medication and therapy, so why would you expect such patients to stop going to therapy.
- 3y ago
HPsquared 3y ago
A therapist can go home at the end of the day, work in a team, etc. For regular people, the danger is at home. More stressful.
taneq 3y ago
If you’re looking for either of the two, it’s a given that things are already not going well, to the extent that you’ve decided to seek help.

rhaway84773 3y ago

Therapy and community are completely independent. Therapy might help with managing the issues caused by a lack of community, but that’s only one way it can help. Even if you have a great community life therapy can be extremely useful. The OP’s comment is the equivalent of saying “exercise is solving the problem of drinking too much soda”. It’s not wrong. Exercise can help alleviate some of the issues caused by drinking too much soda by helping reduce your possibly associated weight gain. But that doesn’t mean that if one weren’t drinking too much soda then exercise isn’t useful.