5 ms·

Say a bit more about the headspace

by zadler 3y ago

DougN7 3y ago
I have a close friend whose daughter has it. From what I understand she can’t weigh consequences out beyond about 2 minutes. Current emotional discomfort (like being slightly bored) is over the top painful. She can’t deal with “no” sometimes, like she goes so crazy the police have to be called sometimes. I read that it’s kind of like if you had no skin and thus all your nerve endings were exposed. Sitting would hurt, a breeze would hurt, sunlight and rain would hurt. But she can go from screaming and throwing punches at her parents to being their darling little daughter five minutes later as though nothing had happened. I suspect she can’t relate at all to others’ experiences - it’s just her. She seemed like a totally normal kid until puberty hit.
- 100721 3y ago
  [flagged]
  - SpaghettiCthulu 3y ago
    Would "completely illogical" be better?
  - J_cst 3y ago
    Are you serious?
  - Tao3300 3y ago
    > Respectfully Saying that doesn't make it so.
- ganbatekudasai 3y ago
  > I read that it’s kind of like if you had no skin and thus all your nerve endings were exposed. That seems to be exactly right. However, it also seems that, with some intelligence and introspection, people can totally learn how to deal with that and live a normal life. It's hard for me to tell whether the symptoms actually subside, or whether they are just perfectly capable of dealing with them. From what I've been told, a big part of BPD is "internal emotional feedback loops" that become hard to break out of, but it's apparently possible to recognize them early and not build up.
  - type0 3y ago
    > a big part of BPD is "internal emotional feedback loops" Part of it is certainly that. It's not strange that some attempt to self medicate with strong psychedelics like mescaline, I heard a few successful stories but it can also go terribly wrong.
WhatsLeftover 3y ago
She was caught in a perpetual negative feedback loop. It wholly formed her worldview and she was dependent on it for functionality. She couldn't progress by setting any of it aside because it could never be enough to improve her perspective. And whatever space she created would be quickly overwhelmed by the adjacent bad perspectives. Progress needs trust (in the process) and trust needs progress. She couldn't generate enough of either.
willcipriano 3y ago
My wife has it, mainly she is unable to conceptualize that she is wrong and thus never learns from experience. For example she started a lawsuit against the neighbors, that she funnels tens of thousands of dollars toward because she thought the property line was further into their yard than it actually is. She recently told me we own the entire town and made some nonsensical statements to justify that belief. I'm going to try to get the lawyer disbarred because he is clearly taking advantage of a mentally ill woman. She acts out in order to gain attention. From ruining the family finances like in the first example to engaging in affairs and luring men from the internet to appear at the house. She has made false claims against me to the police. Refuses to clean up after herself, leaving huge messes, while complaining about a single item I might leave out. She lies, a lot. She doesn't seem to understand that I don't trust her anymore after all the lies, to her that's in the past even if it was a few minutes ago. I'm stuck due to my kid and family courts bias in favor of mothers. 14 more years.
- mahesh_rm 3y ago
  If you ever feel hopeless and want to catch up in a call to let it out, let me know. Been there, and was luckily able to get out because of no kids. The idea of being stuck with that person would have likely killed me, without a social net that could help in the most difficult moments.
  - deleted 3y ago
    [deleted]
  - WarOnPrivacy 3y ago
    > Been there, and was luckily able to get out because of no kids. We had 5 (all over 18 now). I got out of it because she started hanging with the nearby homeless community and found other guys go glom onto. Then one night, while I was asleep on the sofa, she came home and emptied out her bedroom (hoarded to the ceiling). I was one door away and never stirred. I just work up and the room was completely empty. I'm still kind of stunned by that.
- ganbatekudasai 3y ago

Say a bit more about the headspace

by zadler 3y ago

Say a bit more about the headspace

I have a close friend whose daughter has it. From what I understand she can’t weigh consequences out beyond about 2 minutes. Current emotional discomfort (like being slightly bored) is over the top painful. She can’t deal with “no” sometimes, like she goes so crazy the police have to be called sometimes. I read that it’s kind of like if you had no skin and thus all your nerve endings were exposed. Sitting would hurt, a breeze would hurt, sunlight and rain would hurt. But she can go from screaming and throwing punches at her parents to being their darling little daughter five minutes later as though nothing had happened. I suspect she can’t relate at all to others’ experiences - it’s just her. She seemed like a totally normal kid until puberty hit.

100721 3y ago
[flagged]
- SpaghettiCthulu 3y ago
  Would "completely illogical" be better?
- J_cst 3y ago
  Are you serious?
- Tao3300 3y ago
  > Respectfully Saying that doesn't make it so.
ganbatekudasai 3y ago
> I read that it’s kind of like if you had no skin and thus all your nerve endings were exposed. That seems to be exactly right. However, it also seems that, with some intelligence and introspection, people can totally learn how to deal with that and live a normal life. It's hard for me to tell whether the symptoms actually subside, or whether they are just perfectly capable of dealing with them. From what I've been told, a big part of BPD is "internal emotional feedback loops" that become hard to break out of, but it's apparently possible to recognize them early and not build up.
- type0 3y ago
  > a big part of BPD is "internal emotional feedback loops" Part of it is certainly that. It's not strange that some attempt to self medicate with strong psychedelics like mescaline, I heard a few successful stories but it can also go terribly wrong.

WhatsLeftover 3y ago

She was caught in a perpetual negative feedback loop. It wholly formed her worldview and she was dependent on it for functionality. She couldn't progress by setting any of it aside because it could never be enough to improve her perspective. And whatever space she created would be quickly overwhelmed by the adjacent bad perspectives. Progress needs trust (in the process) and trust needs progress. She couldn't generate enough of either.

willcipriano 3y ago

My wife has it, mainly she is unable to conceptualize that she is wrong and thus never learns from experience. For example she started a lawsuit against the neighbors, that she funnels tens of thousands of dollars toward because she thought the property line was further into their yard than it actually is. She recently told me we own the entire town and made some nonsensical statements to justify that belief. I'm going to try to get the lawyer disbarred because he is clearly taking advantage of a mentally ill woman. She acts out in order to gain attention. From ruining the family finances like in the first example to engaging in affairs and luring men from the internet to appear at the house. She has made false claims against me to the police. Refuses to clean up after herself, leaving huge messes, while complaining about a single item I might leave out. She lies, a lot. She doesn't seem to understand that I don't trust her anymore after all the lies, to her that's in the past even if it was a few minutes ago. I'm stuck due to my kid and family courts bias in favor of mothers. 14 more years.

mahesh_rm 3y ago
If you ever feel hopeless and want to catch up in a call to let it out, let me know. Been there, and was luckily able to get out because of no kids. The idea of being stuck with that person would have likely killed me, without a social net that could help in the most difficult moments.
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
- WarOnPrivacy 3y ago
  > Been there, and was luckily able to get out because of no kids. We had 5 (all over 18 now). I got out of it because she started hanging with the nearby homeless community and found other guys go glom onto. Then one night, while I was asleep on the sofa, she came home and emptied out her bedroom (hoarded to the ceiling). I was one door away and never stirred. I just work up and the room was completely empty. I'm still kind of stunned by that.
ganbatekudasai 3y ago