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I've interacted with government and insurance attorneys for various work gigs and some of them have impressed me with their insistence on clarity, too. I find i

I've interacted with government and insurance attorneys for various work gigs and some of them have impressed me with their insistence on clarity, too. I find it challenging and fun to communicate that way, albeit I've only ever done it in small 'doses'. (I'd guess it follows a dose-response relationship that veers off toward madness pretty quickly.) I get a similiar kind of kick from observing people communicating technically and precisely to complete a task-- launching rockets, doing performing surgery, controlling air traffic, etc.

onlypositive 3y ago
Being precise (not vague) with your language is a learned skill. I started practicing is after reading 12 rules for life (it's one of them). It really makes a difference in everyday life. It prevents so many arguments with my wife: we agree on most things, when we don't it's usually because we disagree on the meaning of the words we're using. At work I have far less misunderstandings with coworkers, I understand expectations better and I don't get caught out by people using vague language to hide or gloss over major problems. Last month I was evaluating a contract and it took me a week to get a clear answer about terms. I suspect the people involved subconsciously knew that if they gave a clear answer the contract would be deemed unecessary and cancelled. It was.
- jahsome 3y ago
  Ugh... I am a very precise communicator, and my wife --- Not so much. I love her dearly, but I cannot count the number of times I have enraged her by asking her to elaborate or seeking clarification about a pronoun or some other vaguery by asking questions she believes "I should know the answer to because I'm too smart not to know" We're getting there, though :)
  - 7thaccount 3y ago
    Lol my wife is the same and it drives me nuts. She will say go get me "x". I'm like where? And then she'll say "the closet" or something like that and I'll have to ask "which closet" and so on.
    - BLKNSLVR 3y ago
      (Taking light-hearted commentary too seriously) Something that young children have to grow out of is assuming that "if they know it, their parents must know it too", such as where they put (not hid, because "the parents know") the phone or the keys. As a child they haven't yet developed the, obvious once developed, concept of the individuality of knowledge and experience. It does feel as if this regresses for long-term partners. The volume of shared experience must blur the boundaries of individual experience, or something. My wife will often blurt out something totally incomprehensible to anyone but her, but since she's spent the previous 5-10 minutes reading / watching all the context leading up to it, she expects the rest of us (who may have only just strolled into the room) to know it to its core. A punchline without context is nothing! I do like the sideways glances my kids give me when it happens though. That's a shared understanding :)
      - brightlancer 3y ago
        I've known lots of intelligent adults who assumed their particular knowledge was common knowledge. Most were polite about it and realized their mistake; a few were quite obnoxious and learned nothing. Anecdotally, I wonder if/ to what degree this has been affected by increased job specialization, where a person who spends all day working (and perhaps socializing after) with folks who share their particular knowledge and jargon will then err when interacting with folks outside of that bubble.
      - jahsome 3y ago
        > It does feel as if this regresses for long-term partners. The volume of shared experience must blur the boundaries of individual experience, or something. This is so true, and painfully so. I was fortunate to have an epiphany a few years ago when I realized I was failing regularly to see my wife as a separate individual and part of the whole of "us." More accurately, there were times when I probably viewed her merely and extension of myself. It honestly changed the way I view the world, and I somehow managed to extrapolate that understanding to life itself. It was a glorious dose of ego death, and one I sorely needed.
    - mbork_pl 3y ago
- cosmojg 3y ago
  > At work I have far less misunderstandings with coworkers [...] You have fewer* misunderstandings ;)
  - gugagore 3y ago
    In case your point is that using "less" instead of "fewer" for countable nouns is an example of unclear communication, let me disagree with the point.
    - OJFord 3y ago
      Less so (more awkward) here than in other cases, but it's as if the misunderstandings were smaller in magnitude rather than quantity or frequency.

onlypositive 3y ago

Being precise (not vague) with your language is a learned skill. I started practicing is after reading 12 rules for life (it's one of them). It really makes a difference in everyday life. It prevents so many arguments with my wife: we agree on most things, when we don't it's usually because we disagree on the meaning of the words we're using. At work I have far less misunderstandings with coworkers, I understand expectations better and I don't get caught out by people using vague language to hide or gloss over major problems. Last month I was evaluating a contract and it took me a week to get a clear answer about terms. I suspect the people involved subconsciously knew that if they gave a clear answer the contract would be deemed unecessary and cancelled. It was.

jahsome 3y ago
Ugh... I am a very precise communicator, and my wife --- Not so much. I love her dearly, but I cannot count the number of times I have enraged her by asking her to elaborate or seeking clarification about a pronoun or some other vaguery by asking questions she believes "I should know the answer to because I'm too smart not to know" We're getting there, though :)
- 7thaccount 3y ago
  Lol my wife is the same and it drives me nuts. She will say go get me "x". I'm like where? And then she'll say "the closet" or something like that and I'll have to ask "which closet" and so on.
  - BLKNSLVR 3y ago
    (Taking light-hearted commentary too seriously) Something that young children have to grow out of is assuming that "if they know it, their parents must know it too", such as where they put (not hid, because "the parents know") the phone or the keys. As a child they haven't yet developed the, obvious once developed, concept of the individuality of knowledge and experience. It does feel as if this regresses for long-term partners. The volume of shared experience must blur the boundaries of individual experience, or something. My wife will often blurt out something totally incomprehensible to anyone but her, but since she's spent the previous 5-10 minutes reading / watching all the context leading up to it, she expects the rest of us (who may have only just strolled into the room) to know it to its core. A punchline without context is nothing! I do like the sideways glances my kids give me when it happens though. That's a shared understanding :)
    - brightlancer 3y ago
      I've known lots of intelligent adults who assumed their particular knowledge was common knowledge. Most were polite about it and realized their mistake; a few were quite obnoxious and learned nothing. Anecdotally, I wonder if/ to what degree this has been affected by increased job specialization, where a person who spends all day working (and perhaps socializing after) with folks who share their particular knowledge and jargon will then err when interacting with folks outside of that bubble.
    - jahsome 3y ago
      > It does feel as if this regresses for long-term partners. The volume of shared experience must blur the boundaries of individual experience, or something. This is so true, and painfully so. I was fortunate to have an epiphany a few years ago when I realized I was failing regularly to see my wife as a separate individual and part of the whole of "us." More accurately, there were times when I probably viewed her merely and extension of myself. It honestly changed the way I view the world, and I somehow managed to extrapolate that understanding to life itself. It was a glorious dose of ego death, and one I sorely needed.
  - mbork_pl 3y ago
cosmojg 3y ago
> At work I have far less misunderstandings with coworkers [...] You have fewer* misunderstandings ;)
- gugagore 3y ago
  In case your point is that using "less" instead of "fewer" for countable nouns is an example of unclear communication, let me disagree with the point.
  - OJFord 3y ago
    Less so (more awkward) here than in other cases, but it's as if the misunderstandings were smaller in magnitude rather than quantity or frequency.