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Spending time in meetings with someone who insists on near-complete terminological clarity from everyone involved ~illuminates just how hard it is to communicat

Spending time in meetings with someone who insists on near-complete terminological clarity from everyone involved ~illuminates just how hard it is to communicate precisely and consistently. (In my case, this person is a CEO who's had past lives in engineering and finance, IIRC.) Setting aside the communication skills of specific engineers, various stakeholders can still have both wildly and subtly different senses of what they mean by common terms. For example, I find there's a fair amount of chaos surrounding very common terms like "product" and "content" that tend to mean different things in different systems and to people in different roles/departments.

EvanAnderson 3y ago
I've interacted with government and insurance attorneys for various work gigs and some of them have impressed me with their insistence on clarity, too. I find it challenging and fun to communicate that way, albeit I've only ever done it in small 'doses'. (I'd guess it follows a dose-response relationship that veers off toward madness pretty quickly.) I get a similiar kind of kick from observing people communicating technically and precisely to complete a task-- launching rockets, doing performing surgery, controlling air traffic, etc.
- onlypositive 3y ago
  Being precise (not vague) with your language is a learned skill. I started practicing is after reading 12 rules for life (it's one of them). It really makes a difference in everyday life. It prevents so many arguments with my wife: we agree on most things, when we don't it's usually because we disagree on the meaning of the words we're using. At work I have far less misunderstandings with coworkers, I understand expectations better and I don't get caught out by people using vague language to hide or gloss over major problems. Last month I was evaluating a contract and it took me a week to get a clear answer about terms. I suspect the people involved subconsciously knew that if they gave a clear answer the contract would be deemed unecessary and cancelled. It was.
  - jahsome 3y ago
    Ugh... I am a very precise communicator, and my wife --- Not so much. I love her dearly, but I cannot count the number of times I have enraged her by asking her to elaborate or seeking clarification about a pronoun or some other vaguery by asking questions she believes "I should know the answer to because I'm too smart not to know" We're getting there, though :)
    - 7thaccount 3y ago
      Lol my wife is the same and it drives me nuts. She will say go get me "x". I'm like where? And then she'll say "the closet" or something like that and I'll have to ask "which closet" and so on.
      - BLKNSLVR 3y ago
        (Taking light-hearted commentary too seriously) Something that young children have to grow out of is assuming that "if they know it, their parents must know it too", such as where they put (not hid, because "the parents know") the phone or the keys. As a child they haven't yet developed the, obvious once developed, concept of the individuality of knowledge and experience. It does feel as if this regresses for long-term partners. The volume of shared experience must blur the boundaries of individual experience, or something. My wife will often blurt out something totally incomprehensible to anyone but her, but since she's spent the previous 5-10 minutes reading / watching all the context leading up to it, she expects the rest of us (who may have only just strolled into the room) to know it to its core. A punchline without context is nothing! I do like the sideways glances my kids give me when it happens though. That's a shared understanding :)
        brightlancer 3y ago
        I've known lots of intelligent adults who assumed their particular knowledge was common knowledge. Most were polite about it and realized their mistake; a few were quite obnoxious and learned nothing. Anecdotally, I wonder if/ to what degree this has been affected by increased job specialization, where a person who spends all day working (and perhaps socializing after) with folks who share their particular knowledge and jargon will then err when interacting with folks outside of that bubble.
TylerE 3y ago
"portal" is a good one. Depending on the speaker it can mean an entire website, or a single link, or just about anything in between.
- IggleSniggle 3y ago
  Or a very specific iframe-like HTML tag! <portal> https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/HTML/Element/po https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/HTML/Element/po...
tracker1 3y ago
Similarly, how many people in meetings won't actually speak up if they aren't familiar with a term or acronym in context. I'm often surprised when I ask, and then several others mention they weren't sure either.

EvanAnderson 3y ago

I've interacted with government and insurance attorneys for various work gigs and some of them have impressed me with their insistence on clarity, too. I find it challenging and fun to communicate that way, albeit I've only ever done it in small 'doses'. (I'd guess it follows a dose-response relationship that veers off toward madness pretty quickly.) I get a similiar kind of kick from observing people communicating technically and precisely to complete a task-- launching rockets, doing performing surgery, controlling air traffic, etc.

onlypositive 3y ago
Being precise (not vague) with your language is a learned skill. I started practicing is after reading 12 rules for life (it's one of them). It really makes a difference in everyday life. It prevents so many arguments with my wife: we agree on most things, when we don't it's usually because we disagree on the meaning of the words we're using. At work I have far less misunderstandings with coworkers, I understand expectations better and I don't get caught out by people using vague language to hide or gloss over major problems. Last month I was evaluating a contract and it took me a week to get a clear answer about terms. I suspect the people involved subconsciously knew that if they gave a clear answer the contract would be deemed unecessary and cancelled. It was.
- jahsome 3y ago
  Ugh... I am a very precise communicator, and my wife --- Not so much. I love her dearly, but I cannot count the number of times I have enraged her by asking her to elaborate or seeking clarification about a pronoun or some other vaguery by asking questions she believes "I should know the answer to because I'm too smart not to know" We're getting there, though :)
  - 7thaccount 3y ago
    Lol my wife is the same and it drives me nuts. She will say go get me "x". I'm like where? And then she'll say "the closet" or something like that and I'll have to ask "which closet" and so on.
    - BLKNSLVR 3y ago
      (Taking light-hearted commentary too seriously) Something that young children have to grow out of is assuming that "if they know it, their parents must know it too", such as where they put (not hid, because "the parents know") the phone or the keys. As a child they haven't yet developed the, obvious once developed, concept of the individuality of knowledge and experience. It does feel as if this regresses for long-term partners. The volume of shared experience must blur the boundaries of individual experience, or something. My wife will often blurt out something totally incomprehensible to anyone but her, but since she's spent the previous 5-10 minutes reading / watching all the context leading up to it, she expects the rest of us (who may have only just strolled into the room) to know it to its core. A punchline without context is nothing! I do like the sideways glances my kids give me when it happens though. That's a shared understanding :)
      - brightlancer 3y ago
        I've known lots of intelligent adults who assumed their particular knowledge was common knowledge. Most were polite about it and realized their mistake; a few were quite obnoxious and learned nothing. Anecdotally, I wonder if/ to what degree this has been affected by increased job specialization, where a person who spends all day working (and perhaps socializing after) with folks who share their particular knowledge and jargon will then err when interacting with folks outside of that bubble.

TylerE 3y ago

"portal" is a good one. Depending on the speaker it can mean an entire website, or a single link, or just about anything in between.

IggleSniggle 3y ago
Or a very specific iframe-like HTML tag! <portal> https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/HTML/Element/po https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/HTML/Element/po...

tracker1 3y ago

Similarly, how many people in meetings won't actually speak up if they aren't familiar with a term or acronym in context. I'm often surprised when I ask, and then several others mention they weren't sure either.