4 ms·

Because joint accounts have always seemed weird and controlling to me? I don’t want my wife to have to “check in” when she wants to buy something. She can spe

by tw04 3y ago

Because joint accounts have always seemed weird and controlling to me? I don’t want my wife to have to “check in” when she wants to buy something. She can spend her money on whatever she wants. We split the bills according to our income (more or less) and discuss saving more when we know larger expenses like a trip or home improvements are on the horizon. I don’t need access to her checking accounts or credit cards because I trust her to be financially responsible and I don’t want her to ever feel like she has to justify spending money on something she wants to me.

dlisboa 3y ago
You're thinking all the money of both people has to go in the same join account, but that's not the case. You can have a "for the bills" join account, and then each person has their own separate account. Every month each person transfer a certain amount to the joint account to cover the bills (50/50, 70/30, whatever split works for them). Any other money is spent in the person's own account and has nothing to do with the other, no need for controlling or justifying.
- tw04 3y ago
  > You're thinking all the money of both people has to go in the same join account, but that's not the case. That’s quite literally what the study is suggesting. All money in one account results in the most satisfaction. https://academic.oup.com/view-large/402916029?guestAccessKey=32d8dc66-db46-45ab-a360-57a401a01af9 https://academic.oup.com/view-large/402916029?guestAccessKey...
  - moqmar 3y ago
    > All money in one account results in the most satisfaction. Does it though? It could also be seen the other way around as "If you're already satisfied and trust each other, you are more probable to use a join account".
    - throw0101a 3y ago
      The study thought of this: > Procedure [of Study 1]: Once both partners completed the intake survey (month 0), we randomly assigned couples to one of three bank account structure conditions. We informed couples via e- mail and provided condition-specific instructions. In the Separate Condition, we instructed couples to continue using separate checking and savings accounts and to not open joint checking and savings accounts, for the duration of the 2-year experiment. In the Joint Condition, we instructed couples to open joint checking and/or savings account(s) (within 1 month of them receiving these instruc- tions), use those joint account(s), and discontinue using their separate account(s) for the duration of the 2-year experiment. In the No-Intervention Condition, we told couples that they could manage their money however they liked for the duration of the 2-year experiment. * PDF: https://academic.oup.com/jcr/advance-article/doi/10.1093/jcr/ucad020/7077142?utm_source=authortollfreelink&utm_campaign=jcr&utm_medium=email&guestAccessKey=32d8dc66-db46-45ab-a360-57a401a01af9 https://academic.oup.com/jcr/advance-article/doi/10.1093/jcr... "randomly assigned couples to one of three bank account structure conditions"
- scubbo 3y ago
  > I don't understand couples that keep separate finances > You can have a "for the bills" join account, and then each person has their own separate account. If you keep your own separate account, in any way, shape, or form, you are keeping separate finances. Transferring money into a shared "staging" account to pay bills from is just a more convenient implementation of one person paying the bills and then requesting money from the other. Either way of doing this - shared account "pool", or transferring on a case-by-case basis - is fine. What people (including me) are reacting with suspicion to, is the structure of _fully_ joined finances, where neither party has sole control over any finances of their own whatsoever.
itake 3y ago
To add, I don't want only one person the relationship to know how to manage money. If I pass away, I don't want my partner to be unable to take care of our kids because I did all the budgeting and investing.
barbazoo 3y ago
> I don’t want my wife to have to “check in” when she wants to buy something One does not necessitate the other.
- tw04 3y ago
  In theory, sure. In practice literally every person I know with singular checking accounts has to check in when making any purchase more expensive than a tank of gas and expect the same from their significant other.
  - civilized 3y ago
    Why is this necessary?
    - ke88y 3y ago
      For most people it's because they live paycheck-to-paycheck, at least after things like 401(K) contributions. Of course if you are lucky enough to have $30K+ coming in per month and your necessary monthly bills are closer to $5K then budgeting and tracking spending out of the checking account is wildly unnecessary. But if you have say $5K-$6K coming in each month and $4K of that goes to necessary monthly bills then checking in for anything more expensive than a tank of gas ($60 or so) starts to become necessary.
      - bandyaboot 3y ago
        Why would having separate accounts eliminate the need to communicate for larger purchases for couples in the latter situation. Sounds like that would lead to even bigger issues.
        ke88y 3y ago
        It doesn't in terms of agreement on purchases. But it makes the actual logistics of balancing the checkbook easier. You definitely know that you are or are not overdrawing. (fwiw I use joint accounts, but I can see the benefit of separate accounts if both people are working or otherwise busy and there isn't time each night to balance the checkbook.)
D13Fd 3y ago
If you are lucky enough that you both have similar spending habits, then checking in isn't required.
civilized 3y ago
Are you under the impression that joint accounts require both partners to consent to a transaction?
- scarface_74 3y ago
  It does just for logistics. If we have $1000 in our joint account and we both spend $600 without talking to the other, it’s going to overdraft. On the other hand, if we both have our “own” account even if they are really joint accounts, that’s not a problem. My wife doesn’t work now. I put money into “her” account every pay period based on what we agreed on - and to make her whole once I “retired” her. She has access to credit cards and our joint savings account if something comes up. She isn’t really a big spender and neither am I.
  - sooheon 3y ago
    > I put money into “her” account every pay period based on what we agreed on She can continue to spend the amount you guys have agreed on from a joint account.
    - scarface_74 3y ago
      It’s much easier just to open your bank app and know whatever is left in there you can spend until the next pay period.
    - brazzledazzle 3y ago
      I think sometimes people need a show of things to feel secure, even if there’s no functional benefit.
    - bluefirebrand 3y ago
      But in a shared account she could spend more than the agreed on amount.
  - hashmush 3y ago
    How does this work? You have $1000, spend $600. You now have $400. How does the bank allow an overdraft here? Why isn't the transaction rejected? I guess this is a debit vs credit card thing?
ndriscoll 3y ago
Interestingly enough, your reasoning is why we share accounts. I'm the sole income earner, so it would seem controlling to me if my wife had an "allowance". I'd presumably still feel that way if she worked outside the home but we had an income (or spending) disparity; it's all our money (both in how we treat it and, if it came down to it, how the law sees it) and we can both use our judgement on whether to buy something. We both have access to everything because we trust each other to be financially responsible. We still generally talk to each other about anything over a few hundred dollars, but it's more like asking your friend to reassure you because you're not sure if it's worth it. You just want someone to say "dude you've been asking if you should buy X for months just buy it". It does help that she hates clutter and I think everything is a ripoff so neither of us does much frivolous spending. Also I bring in far more than we need and it almost all goes to savings anyway.
- scarface_74 3y ago
  > Interestingly enough, your reasoning is why we share accounts. I'm the sole income earner, so it would seem controlling to me if my wife had an "allowance". I’m also the sole bread winner and my wife does have an “allowance”. It gets deposited into her account. I also have an “allowance” that’s slightly less than hers - what’s left over after all of the bills are paid and savings. > I'd presumably still feel that way if she worked outside the home but we had an income (or spending) disparity; it's all our money and we can both use our judgement on whether to buy something. We both have access to everything because we trust each other to be financially responsible. My wife and I also have access to everything. > It does help that she hates clutter and I think everything is a ripoff so neither of us does much frivolous spending Well, we don’t have to worry about buying stuff at all or creating clutter. Everything we own has to fit in four suitcases. :) https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36306966 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36306966 Our lives are really about experiences.

by tw04 3y ago

dlisboa 3y ago

You're thinking all the money of both people has to go in the same join account, but that's not the case. You can have a "for the bills" join account, and then each person has their own separate account. Every month each person transfer a certain amount to the joint account to cover the bills (50/50, 70/30, whatever split works for them). Any other money is spent in the person's own account and has nothing to do with the other, no need for controlling or justifying.

tw04 3y ago
> You're thinking all the money of both people has to go in the same join account, but that's not the case. That’s quite literally what the study is suggesting. All money in one account results in the most satisfaction. https://academic.oup.com/view-large/402916029?guestAccessKey=32d8dc66-db46-45ab-a360-57a401a01af9 https://academic.oup.com/view-large/402916029?guestAccessKey...
- moqmar 3y ago
  > All money in one account results in the most satisfaction. Does it though? It could also be seen the other way around as "If you're already satisfied and trust each other, you are more probable to use a join account".
  - throw0101a 3y ago
    The study thought of this: > Procedure [of Study 1]: Once both partners completed the intake survey (month 0), we randomly assigned couples to one of three bank account structure conditions. We informed couples via e- mail and provided condition-specific instructions. In the Separate Condition, we instructed couples to continue using separate checking and savings accounts and to not open joint checking and savings accounts, for the duration of the 2-year experiment. In the Joint Condition, we instructed couples to open joint checking and/or savings account(s) (within 1 month of them receiving these instruc- tions), use those joint account(s), and discontinue using their separate account(s) for the duration of the 2-year experiment. In the No-Intervention Condition, we told couples that they could manage their money however they liked for the duration of the 2-year experiment. * PDF: https://academic.oup.com/jcr/advance-article/doi/10.1093/jcr/ucad020/7077142?utm_source=authortollfreelink&utm_campaign=jcr&utm_medium=email&guestAccessKey=32d8dc66-db46-45ab-a360-57a401a01af9 https://academic.oup.com/jcr/advance-article/doi/10.1093/jcr... "randomly assigned couples to one of three bank account structure conditions"
scubbo 3y ago
> I don't understand couples that keep separate finances > You can have a "for the bills" join account, and then each person has their own separate account. If you keep your own separate account, in any way, shape, or form, you are keeping separate finances. Transferring money into a shared "staging" account to pay bills from is just a more convenient implementation of one person paying the bills and then requesting money from the other. Either way of doing this - shared account "pool", or transferring on a case-by-case basis - is fine. What people (including me) are reacting with suspicion to, is the structure of _fully_ joined finances, where neither party has sole control over any finances of their own whatsoever.

itake 3y ago

To add, I don't want only one person the relationship to know how to manage money. If I pass away, I don't want my partner to be unable to take care of our kids because I did all the budgeting and investing.

barbazoo 3y ago

> I don’t want my wife to have to “check in” when she wants to buy something One does not necessitate the other.

tw04 3y ago
In theory, sure. In practice literally every person I know with singular checking accounts has to check in when making any purchase more expensive than a tank of gas and expect the same from their significant other.
- civilized 3y ago
  Why is this necessary?
  - ke88y 3y ago
    For most people it's because they live paycheck-to-paycheck, at least after things like 401(K) contributions. Of course if you are lucky enough to have $30K+ coming in per month and your necessary monthly bills are closer to $5K then budgeting and tracking spending out of the checking account is wildly unnecessary. But if you have say $5K-$6K coming in each month and $4K of that goes to necessary monthly bills then checking in for anything more expensive than a tank of gas ($60 or so) starts to become necessary.
    - bandyaboot 3y ago
      Why would having separate accounts eliminate the need to communicate for larger purchases for couples in the latter situation. Sounds like that would lead to even bigger issues.
      - ke88y 3y ago
        It doesn't in terms of agreement on purchases. But it makes the actual logistics of balancing the checkbook easier. You definitely know that you are or are not overdrawing. (fwiw I use joint accounts, but I can see the benefit of separate accounts if both people are working or otherwise busy and there isn't time each night to balance the checkbook.)

D13Fd 3y ago

If you are lucky enough that you both have similar spending habits, then checking in isn't required.

civilized 3y ago

Are you under the impression that joint accounts require both partners to consent to a transaction?

scarface_74 3y ago
It does just for logistics. If we have $1000 in our joint account and we both spend $600 without talking to the other, it’s going to overdraft. On the other hand, if we both have our “own” account even if they are really joint accounts, that’s not a problem. My wife doesn’t work now. I put money into “her” account every pay period based on what we agreed on - and to make her whole once I “retired” her. She has access to credit cards and our joint savings account if something comes up. She isn’t really a big spender and neither am I.
- sooheon 3y ago
  > I put money into “her” account every pay period based on what we agreed on She can continue to spend the amount you guys have agreed on from a joint account.
  - scarface_74 3y ago
    It’s much easier just to open your bank app and know whatever is left in there you can spend until the next pay period.
  - brazzledazzle 3y ago
    I think sometimes people need a show of things to feel secure, even if there’s no functional benefit.
  - bluefirebrand 3y ago
    But in a shared account she could spend more than the agreed on amount.
- hashmush 3y ago
  How does this work? You have $1000, spend $600. You now have $400. How does the bank allow an overdraft here? Why isn't the transaction rejected? I guess this is a debit vs credit card thing?

ndriscoll 3y ago

Interestingly enough, your reasoning is why we share accounts. I'm the sole income earner, so it would seem controlling to me if my wife had an "allowance". I'd presumably still feel that way if she worked outside the home but we had an income (or spending) disparity; it's all our money (both in how we treat it and, if it came down to it, how the law sees it) and we can both use our judgement on whether to buy something. We both have access to everything because we trust each other to be financially responsible. We still generally talk to each other about anything over a few hundred dollars, but it's more like asking your friend to reassure you because you're not sure if it's worth it. You just want someone to say "dude you've been asking if you should buy X for months just buy it". It does help that she hates clutter and I think everything is a ripoff so neither of us does much frivolous spending. Also I bring in far more than we need and it almost all goes to savings anyway.

scarface_74 3y ago
> Interestingly enough, your reasoning is why we share accounts. I'm the sole income earner, so it would seem controlling to me if my wife had an "allowance". I’m also the sole bread winner and my wife does have an “allowance”. It gets deposited into her account. I also have an “allowance” that’s slightly less than hers - what’s left over after all of the bills are paid and savings. > I'd presumably still feel that way if she worked outside the home but we had an income (or spending) disparity; it's all our money and we can both use our judgement on whether to buy something. We both have access to everything because we trust each other to be financially responsible. My wife and I also have access to everything. > It does help that she hates clutter and I think everything is a ripoff so neither of us does much frivolous spending Well, we don’t have to worry about buying stuff at all or creating clutter. Everything we own has to fit in four suitcases. :) https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36306966 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36306966 Our lives are really about experiences.