3 ms·

In my experience with my interns, many of whom graduated from Harvard like me, some students at all universities suffer from burnout from their strenuous childh

In my experience with my interns, many of whom graduated from Harvard like me, some students at all universities suffer from burnout from their strenuous childhoods. So I sympathize that some kids need to chill a little. I wouldn’t call it self sabotage, but I understand the author is just trying to understand their classmates better. I’m not sure if a cry for help / agitating at the university will matter. I’m not sure it’s so easy to blame parents either. Lowell, Palo Alto, Amador Valley, Mission Viejo and Lynbrook are so ridiculously stressful. And that’s just in the Bay Area in California. Some parents from here send their kids to Exeter and Andover, which also really work the kids to the bone. Is Nightengale Bamford “easy?” Dalton and Trinity? Ultimately as long as there are so few spots for so many kids with genuine cognitive gifts, parents, students and teachers will deem insane competition in high schools rational. And that will manifest in mental health issues - ranging from quirks to crises - later in life.

epicureanideal 3y ago
Sounds like we really need some top universities, maybe new ones, to increase acceptance 10X or more, back to the level where they’d accept people who would’ve been accepted in 1970 with the same scores.
- hsbauauvhabzb 3y ago
  Or to stop placing value on institutions who have dubious impacts in most fields at best…
- doctorpangloss 3y ago
  > maybe new ones There already exists tons of pre existing institutions that will give a great education to those students with many gifts. The twisted thing is if your parents send you to cram school and you DON’T get into Harvard, even if you have cognitive gifts, you’re going to still be drinking heavily at Berkeley from burnout. So the institution that does receive you doesn’t get the whole You. It’s up to the high schools to take the first step to limit the stress, which has been a consensus opinion for at least a decade. And yet, I really doubt that’s going to happen in the high schools I’m personally familiar with. Nonetheless some brands, like Montessori, have achieved this (less stress, same education) for younger students, so my hopes are high.
- ipaddr 3y ago
  Add more ivy league schools to the point where they are common? Increase the size of existing schools so they accept more? Raise the value of suny schools by advertising? Luring top teachers? Syndicate top teachers content to virtual campuses branded by the Ivy League? Ban foreign students? Employers want a ranked list. Parents want a ranked list. Schools ranked high want a rank list of the best schools. How do you get around human nature to appear better than a neighbour and a ranked list of the best schools gives parents/kids an easy template for a successful career?
  - deleted 3y ago
    [deleted]
- MattGaiser 3y ago
  This won't change the stress. It will just move to something else, as a lot of the value in university is how it ranks you compared to others and one way or another, there will be some kind of ranking system.
birdyrooster 3y ago
For me it was that my ADHD was well managed in the highly structured confines of my parental-supervised public education. Once I was put into a dorm by myself for the first time in my life and simultaneously stripped of the structure I previously depended on, I failed almost predictably. In my adult life, covid or forced working from home, has lead to the same trouble. It's hard to consistently achieve when I am by myself and can't latch onto other people's habits. Perhaps I am a parasite of humanity, but I try my best.
- sureglymop 3y ago
  I think you should be careful about criticizing yourself too much (or comparing to others). You have ADHD, a real handicap. Statistically speaking you are probably doing amazingly well if you consider how much more likely people with ADHD are to become addicted to substances, how much more likely they are to get into car crashes, how much more likely they are to end up homeless or unemployed. And I'm pretty sure statistically speaking the majority of people with ADHD does not get a college degree and is less likely to do so. I'm not saying you should "victimize" yourself or something but it's just that nothing you mentioned surprised me when you said ADHD.

epicureanideal 3y ago

Sounds like we really need some top universities, maybe new ones, to increase acceptance 10X or more, back to the level where they’d accept people who would’ve been accepted in 1970 with the same scores.

hsbauauvhabzb 3y ago
Or to stop placing value on institutions who have dubious impacts in most fields at best…
doctorpangloss 3y ago
> maybe new ones There already exists tons of pre existing institutions that will give a great education to those students with many gifts. The twisted thing is if your parents send you to cram school and you DON’T get into Harvard, even if you have cognitive gifts, you’re going to still be drinking heavily at Berkeley from burnout. So the institution that does receive you doesn’t get the whole You. It’s up to the high schools to take the first step to limit the stress, which has been a consensus opinion for at least a decade. And yet, I really doubt that’s going to happen in the high schools I’m personally familiar with. Nonetheless some brands, like Montessori, have achieved this (less stress, same education) for younger students, so my hopes are high.
ipaddr 3y ago
Add more ivy league schools to the point where they are common? Increase the size of existing schools so they accept more? Raise the value of suny schools by advertising? Luring top teachers? Syndicate top teachers content to virtual campuses branded by the Ivy League? Ban foreign students? Employers want a ranked list. Parents want a ranked list. Schools ranked high want a rank list of the best schools. How do you get around human nature to appear better than a neighbour and a ranked list of the best schools gives parents/kids an easy template for a successful career?
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
MattGaiser 3y ago
This won't change the stress. It will just move to something else, as a lot of the value in university is how it ranks you compared to others and one way or another, there will be some kind of ranking system.

birdyrooster 3y ago

For me it was that my ADHD was well managed in the highly structured confines of my parental-supervised public education. Once I was put into a dorm by myself for the first time in my life and simultaneously stripped of the structure I previously depended on, I failed almost predictably. In my adult life, covid or forced working from home, has lead to the same trouble. It's hard to consistently achieve when I am by myself and can't latch onto other people's habits. Perhaps I am a parasite of humanity, but I try my best.

sureglymop 3y ago
I think you should be careful about criticizing yourself too much (or comparing to others). You have ADHD, a real handicap. Statistically speaking you are probably doing amazingly well if you consider how much more likely people with ADHD are to become addicted to substances, how much more likely they are to get into car crashes, how much more likely they are to end up homeless or unemployed. And I'm pretty sure statistically speaking the majority of people with ADHD does not get a college degree and is less likely to do so. I'm not saying you should "victimize" yourself or something but it's just that nothing you mentioned surprised me when you said ADHD.