3 ms·

This guy sounds insufferable. First thing he says to his “coachee” is along the lines of “if I said what you just said to me, how would you feel!” How about y

by 4pkjai 3y ago

This guy sounds insufferable. First thing he says to his “coachee” is along the lines of “if I said what you just said to me, how would you feel!” How about you just say what you think, instead of making her guess what you’re saying

leftnode 3y ago
I agree. From his site it appears he's a "coach" that some executive hires to hold an all hands team building exercise that the rank-and-file completely dread. No thanks.
n4r9 3y ago
Playing devil's advocate here based on my own experience. It's sometimes extremely useful to be prompted to flip perspectives. Many people (myself included) find self-compassion much more difficult than compassion towards others. I remember telling a therapist about various negative thoughts I'd had towards myself, and she said "Now imagine that a friend told you all those things. How would you respond?". The sudden shift in perspective from that simple question was huge. I went from "I'm clearly hopeless" to "Perhaps I do have worth". Ontop of that, it's a powerful thing to encourage someone to do the work themselves rather than doing it for them. Similar to how people often learn mathematics better by solving problems than by reading textbooks.
- matwood 3y ago
  A similar and also useful technique is to be able to detach and view a situation from the outside.
  - Obscurity4340 3y ago
    Any tips on approaching this? The only thing I can think of is trying to write out a comprehensive description of your life and trying to view it like it belonged to a stranger who asked you for advice or something? It is very strange how the same issue can be viewed so radically different by the same person and where they would otherwise have the presence of mind to propose an effective gameplan towards resolving the "not great parts" if only through the eyes of a stranger
    - matwood 3y ago
      Interesting bigger life approach I had not really thought of. I tend to use the detach method more 'in the moment'. If I'm in a situation that is challenging for whatever reason I try to step back and look at it like I'm a 3rd party. I end up noticing all sorts of things that can help resolve the situation. A concrete example often occurs in sports. The one in the game misses all sorts of really obvious things that those watching clearly see. I think how one accomplishes this in the moment is personal. If I'm sitting at my desk, I'll physically push my chair back and sit up a bit. In person I'll take a small step back probably unnoticed by whoever I'm talking to. Just small triggers to remind me to detach from moment and try and view it more objectively.
    - n4r9 3y ago
      That's a good idea. I find that the mere act of writing gives rise to a certain level of detachment. It's one of the reasons that keeping a diary can be great for mental health.

by 4pkjai 3y ago

leftnode 3y ago

I agree. From his site it appears he's a "coach" that some executive hires to hold an all hands team building exercise that the rank-and-file completely dread. No thanks.

n4r9 3y ago

Playing devil's advocate here based on my own experience. It's sometimes extremely useful to be prompted to flip perspectives. Many people (myself included) find self-compassion much more difficult than compassion towards others. I remember telling a therapist about various negative thoughts I'd had towards myself, and she said "Now imagine that a friend told you all those things. How would you respond?". The sudden shift in perspective from that simple question was huge. I went from "I'm clearly hopeless" to "Perhaps I do have worth". Ontop of that, it's a powerful thing to encourage someone to do the work themselves rather than doing it for them. Similar to how people often learn mathematics better by solving problems than by reading textbooks.

matwood 3y ago
A similar and also useful technique is to be able to detach and view a situation from the outside.
- Obscurity4340 3y ago
  Any tips on approaching this? The only thing I can think of is trying to write out a comprehensive description of your life and trying to view it like it belonged to a stranger who asked you for advice or something? It is very strange how the same issue can be viewed so radically different by the same person and where they would otherwise have the presence of mind to propose an effective gameplan towards resolving the "not great parts" if only through the eyes of a stranger
  - matwood 3y ago
    Interesting bigger life approach I had not really thought of. I tend to use the detach method more 'in the moment'. If I'm in a situation that is challenging for whatever reason I try to step back and look at it like I'm a 3rd party. I end up noticing all sorts of things that can help resolve the situation. A concrete example often occurs in sports. The one in the game misses all sorts of really obvious things that those watching clearly see. I think how one accomplishes this in the moment is personal. If I'm sitting at my desk, I'll physically push my chair back and sit up a bit. In person I'll take a small step back probably unnoticed by whoever I'm talking to. Just small triggers to remind me to detach from moment and try and view it more objectively.
  - n4r9 3y ago
    That's a good idea. I find that the mere act of writing gives rise to a certain level of detachment. It's one of the reasons that keeping a diary can be great for mental health.