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I believe that desiring to be truly known by more than a couple of your closest relations is unfortunately a losing proposition. I'm just making up numbers, but
by lukas099 3y ago
I believe that desiring to be truly known by more than a couple of your closest relations is unfortunately a losing proposition. I'm just making up numbers, but I think about 90% of people's caring about other people goes to the people they are around all the time. Then 90% of what's left goes to people like The Beatles, or Trump/Biden, or whatever celebrity. Trying to get the attention of others is fighting for scraps of scraps.
I did this once, at work. Worked on a passion project that I poured my sweat and soul into, didn't even receive a 'good job' (this team had some organization issues and I wasn't even on the radar of almost anyone who worked there). It was truly demoralizing but a necessary dose of reality for me. Probably working at an early stage startup or small independent team where everyone who works there is actually best friends with everyone else is the only way this would really pay off.
- c_crank 3y agoI've gotten the most enjoyment out of side projects when I know that I'm making them for close friends first, and any extra popularity is just a bonus.
- lukas099 3y agoThat is a really good idea: make something for someone you really care about and who really cares about you.
- NortySpock 3y agoI have also found that building things "for fun" and "for the sake of learning" has been both fun and educational.
- imtringued 3y agoI have built a side project with a user base of less than ten people. Mostly people I have known for years. The only counterargument is "why aren't you using <more popular software> instead?"
- fellowniusmonk 3y agoIt makes sense, children are so autocentric that if the author is partially stuck in a childlike frame of mind (as he says in the post) than finding a cosmic being who "knows him" is a decent hack to move on if it fills the childlike psychological need he has. I too had the unfulfilled need to be "known" when I was a child, which was impossible because my traumas were so far from any normal child's experience, realizing the futility of ever being "fully" known or "fully knowing" someone coincided with the concept of Sonder fully sinking in, that's also when I realized empathy was a red herring and thoughtful sympathy was the strongest possible outcome outside of perhaps a twins experience (which I can't even begin to speak to). Nothing as infinitely complex as an individual can ever be fully known for any non-arbitrary definition of fully, most -- if not all -- people won't ever even fully know themselves. Appreciating life and the mystery of individuals is something to bring awe. People who think an individual can be "fully" known have a very low view of the complexity of individuals.
- johnnyanmac 3y agoI know you're making numbers up, but I think it's a shame that there will be 10x more thought about people they will never meet, nor talk to, than to people that they can perhaps form bonds with. Truly lonely reality.