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> One of my biggest culture shocks in moving from Ireland to the Netherlands I've only been to Ireland once, but I absolutely loved how the local pub felt like

> One of my biggest culture shocks in moving from Ireland to the Netherlands I've only been to Ireland once, but I absolutely loved how the local pub felt like the shared living room for the town. It was so different from my experience at most bars in the US (there are some that also fit this bill, but they're rare). I ended up going there every night I was in town for dinner and a pint, and some friendly chit-chat.

slothtrop 3y ago
I had read elsewhere that in Iceland, the swimming pools fill that social role. They have a very strong culture surrounding that. It seems to me there's basically no equivalent in the U.S. & Canada, or at least, not one that is consistent across the countries. There's a coffee shop "culture", but not in the capacity of striking up conversation. We end up using contrived means to merely signal to one another that we want to talk (i.e. social apps). These would be rendered redundant if there was a "space" where this was expected. Maybe the virtualized always-online shift of daily life has destroyed this. I would grant that there are Irish Pubs in the area that are frequented by older regulars, where striking up conversation is probably more of an expectation, but young people don't go there.
- jamal-kumar 3y ago
  Canada and the USA are generally still places where you can strike up conversation with people at bars and carry on a conversation about sports or whatever. It doesn't really get much deeper than that, though, and good luck running into any smart opinions if you bother to try... I just remember encountering a ton of bigoted drunken ranting.
- derefr 3y ago
  Hypothesis: an implicit secondary reason that so many young people want to be social-media "influencers", is that holding a microphone and having a cameraman following you, creates a magic circle of this kind of "space" around your own person, such that people who ordinarily would never give you the time of day will be perfectly willing to talk to you for a video.
- skciva 3y ago
  In the US it exists but you have to be a bit more aware of body language and such. Not everyone is as open. But generally communities exist all around you in the US, you may just not be aware of them.* * This is strictly in the cities. Suburban life is where isolation and loneliness thrive.
  - slothtrop 3y ago
    Examples?
  - sfink 3y ago
    The cities and the countryside, actually. In rural areas, you may spend most of your time in your own territory, but when you encounter other people they'll probably stop and chat. (For one, when your cows get out and into your neighbor's field for the 6th time that year, you want to be on good enough terms to be able to go fetch them back...) Suburbia is where we can have exactly what we think we want, and thereby discover that we're wrong.
    - slothtrop 3y ago
      I talk to my neighbors in the suburbs, something that has never occurred in denser areas. There's no reason for 'burbs by function and design to be "less friendly" than the countryside.
tezgon 3y ago
I wouldn't say they're very rare. Go to literally any town in Wisconsin that's not Madison or Milwaukee and you will find an environment very similar to GP's description of Ireland.
- bjornasm 3y ago
  Have you been to Ireland? It might be that they are rare compared to what he experienced, even though you think that it must be similar after reading a description.
lordnacho 3y ago
Perhaps it used to be a thing in the US? Cheers was set in Boston, right? Then again, Boston is known for having a lot of Irish influence.
- JohnFen 3y ago
  But Cheers was only that way for the main characters. Look at all of the background patrons for contrast.
  - fatnoah 3y ago
    There is a bar around the corner from Cheers that actually did feel like the neighborhood "living room" to me. When you see a bar where ages range from a few months to 80+ years, you're on the right track.
    - Rediscover 3y ago
      Bang-on. Seattle is the same (Pike Place Bar & Grill et al).
soligern 3y ago
That’s how it feels in the US as well anywhere outside the largest city and honestly dives feel that way in big cities too.

slothtrop 3y ago

I had read elsewhere that in Iceland, the swimming pools fill that social role. They have a very strong culture surrounding that. It seems to me there's basically no equivalent in the U.S. & Canada, or at least, not one that is consistent across the countries. There's a coffee shop "culture", but not in the capacity of striking up conversation. We end up using contrived means to merely signal to one another that we want to talk (i.e. social apps). These would be rendered redundant if there was a "space" where this was expected. Maybe the virtualized always-online shift of daily life has destroyed this. I would grant that there are Irish Pubs in the area that are frequented by older regulars, where striking up conversation is probably more of an expectation, but young people don't go there.

jamal-kumar 3y ago
Canada and the USA are generally still places where you can strike up conversation with people at bars and carry on a conversation about sports or whatever. It doesn't really get much deeper than that, though, and good luck running into any smart opinions if you bother to try... I just remember encountering a ton of bigoted drunken ranting.
derefr 3y ago
Hypothesis: an implicit secondary reason that so many young people want to be social-media "influencers", is that holding a microphone and having a cameraman following you, creates a magic circle of this kind of "space" around your own person, such that people who ordinarily would never give you the time of day will be perfectly willing to talk to you for a video.
skciva 3y ago
In the US it exists but you have to be a bit more aware of body language and such. Not everyone is as open. But generally communities exist all around you in the US, you may just not be aware of them.* * This is strictly in the cities. Suburban life is where isolation and loneliness thrive.
- slothtrop 3y ago
  Examples?
- sfink 3y ago
  The cities and the countryside, actually. In rural areas, you may spend most of your time in your own territory, but when you encounter other people they'll probably stop and chat. (For one, when your cows get out and into your neighbor's field for the 6th time that year, you want to be on good enough terms to be able to go fetch them back...) Suburbia is where we can have exactly what we think we want, and thereby discover that we're wrong.
  - slothtrop 3y ago
    I talk to my neighbors in the suburbs, something that has never occurred in denser areas. There's no reason for 'burbs by function and design to be "less friendly" than the countryside.

tezgon 3y ago

I wouldn't say they're very rare. Go to literally any town in Wisconsin that's not Madison or Milwaukee and you will find an environment very similar to GP's description of Ireland.

bjornasm 3y ago
Have you been to Ireland? It might be that they are rare compared to what he experienced, even though you think that it must be similar after reading a description.

lordnacho 3y ago

Perhaps it used to be a thing in the US? Cheers was set in Boston, right? Then again, Boston is known for having a lot of Irish influence.

JohnFen 3y ago
But Cheers was only that way for the main characters. Look at all of the background patrons for contrast.
- fatnoah 3y ago
  There is a bar around the corner from Cheers that actually did feel like the neighborhood "living room" to me. When you see a bar where ages range from a few months to 80+ years, you're on the right track.
  - Rediscover 3y ago
    Bang-on. Seattle is the same (Pike Place Bar & Grill et al).

soligern 3y ago

That’s how it feels in the US as well anywhere outside the largest city and honestly dives feel that way in big cities too.