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> If you find yourself saying "In other words," it means you didn't say it clearly enough the first time. Go back and rewrite the first attempt. Sometimes, par

> If you find yourself saying "In other words," it means you didn't say it clearly enough the first time. Go back and rewrite the first attempt. Sometimes, particularly in didactic material, it helps to explain things in more than one way, as different people may find different explanations helpful.

Errancer 3y ago
I agree, often I write first sentence in technical language to introduce the reader to the existing discussion and then say "In other words" to paraphrase the technical language into more familiar but less precise vocabulary.
- mo_42 3y ago
  I'd rather do the opposite. I'd start with the intuitive high-level idea and then introduce technical terms and formality to the prepared mind. As they say every rule has its exceptions and I think all three variants can be suitable.
- brookst 3y ago
  I agree, but even in those cases, “in other words” is just throat-clearing. Like “simply put” or “that is to say”, these are noise words that only hurt the clarity of writing. If two examples help, use two examples. There’s no need to call out that the second one is another example; people will get that. At least that’s how I see it after a lifetime of trying to stamp out this kind of filler language in my own writing.
  - Errancer 3y ago
    I agree with your description that this is a throat-clearing but I don't see why it hurts the clarity of writing. Dense texts packed with information can often benefit from such breaks. In general I find text which uses artefacts from spoken language more readable. There are limits to this of course but if we remove all redundancy we end up with dry text which sometimes is expected but I am unsure if it is the most readable or clear way to write. One side note is that it might be culture dependent. English speaking countries and Poland, where I am from, expect and teach much different writing style than France or Germany.
  - dllthomas 3y ago
    If it's two examples, it's not the same thing presented again in other words. If you are presenting the same thing twice phrased differently, separating the two presentations is important, and "in other words" is a perfectly reasonable phrase to do that.
  - blowski 3y ago
    Without beating around the bush, what I’m trying to say is, in other words, unless I’m mistaken, it’s perhaps possible that maybe some writing just could be written in fewer words.
    - ukuina 3y ago
      Sir Humphrey Appleby, is that you?
- scarface_74 3y ago
  In my experience, that’s a mistake. I start off by framing things in the “why” for a high level conceptual understanding and slowly get into the weeds. The executives and the sponsors care about business objectives and they are going to zone out as soon as you start getting into the weeds.
ReactiveJelly 3y ago
Is that why those "explained at five different level" videos on YouTube are popular?
tmoertel 3y ago
Agreed! When writing about challenging technical subjects, we ought to realize that a reader may not fully grasp one explanation, even if it's written clearly. Buttressing it from another angle can reconnect the reader with the intended meaning. For example, pairing formal and informal takes on a point seems to work well.
lelanthran 3y ago
It's a good rule for general information presentation. Tell them what you are going to tell them. Tell them what you want to tell them. Tell them what you just told them.
- IshKebab 3y ago
  Ugh that "rule" has resulted in more terrible PowerPoint presentations than any other. "Hi, today I'm going to tell you about 1+1... 1+1=2... So what have we talked about? I started by telling you that 1+1=2." So much waffle. The best presentations I've heard don't do that at all. Yes they start by setting the context and goal of the presentation, and they end with a solid conclusion. But they don't have a table of contents at the start that people tediously read and then exactly the same thing again at the end. You might argue that that's not what it's meant to mean, but that is what people hear so it's bad advice. The best advice I've ever heard for presenting was from a stand up comedian who was teaching how to present well. His basic advice was to follow the classic Hero's Tale. Set the stage. Something goes wrong. You triumphantly overcome it. You might think that doesn't apply to technical presentations but you'd be surprised how often you can fit your story into that framework.
  - teddyh 3y ago
    Replace boring "context" with "showing why your writings and information will be valuable to the reader" and I think you've got something.
    - IshKebab 3y ago
      Yeah that's good advice.
  - scarface_74 3y ago
    > His basic advice was to follow the classic Hero's Tale. Set the stage. Something goes wrong. You triumphantly overcome it. Ie “STAR format”
    - 3y ago
jasonlotito 3y ago
This is a good example of why the list of rules is prefaced with this: > Like almost all rules, there are cases where breaking them is a good idea and seasoned writers may well object with "but" responses for some of these. Thus, consider the rules below as mental rumble strips - you should probably slow down and think if you encounter these cases.
lostlogin 3y ago
Further down (39) there is a suggestion that you start a paragraph with a summary sentence. That might help cover this. ‘Each paragraph should have a lead sentence summarizing its content. If this doesn't work naturally, the paragraph is probably too short.’
scarface_74 3y ago
I agree. I’m often on conference calls with customers where the audience make up have different backgrounds and concerns - finance, security, compliance, operations, developers, etc. My writing is also aimed at different audiences simultaneously. I have to address the same subject different ways.

Errancer 3y ago

I agree, often I write first sentence in technical language to introduce the reader to the existing discussion and then say "In other words" to paraphrase the technical language into more familiar but less precise vocabulary.

mo_42 3y ago
I'd rather do the opposite. I'd start with the intuitive high-level idea and then introduce technical terms and formality to the prepared mind. As they say every rule has its exceptions and I think all three variants can be suitable.
brookst 3y ago
I agree, but even in those cases, “in other words” is just throat-clearing. Like “simply put” or “that is to say”, these are noise words that only hurt the clarity of writing. If two examples help, use two examples. There’s no need to call out that the second one is another example; people will get that. At least that’s how I see it after a lifetime of trying to stamp out this kind of filler language in my own writing.
- Errancer 3y ago
  I agree with your description that this is a throat-clearing but I don't see why it hurts the clarity of writing. Dense texts packed with information can often benefit from such breaks. In general I find text which uses artefacts from spoken language more readable. There are limits to this of course but if we remove all redundancy we end up with dry text which sometimes is expected but I am unsure if it is the most readable or clear way to write. One side note is that it might be culture dependent. English speaking countries and Poland, where I am from, expect and teach much different writing style than France or Germany.
- dllthomas 3y ago
  If it's two examples, it's not the same thing presented again in other words. If you are presenting the same thing twice phrased differently, separating the two presentations is important, and "in other words" is a perfectly reasonable phrase to do that.
- blowski 3y ago
  Without beating around the bush, what I’m trying to say is, in other words, unless I’m mistaken, it’s perhaps possible that maybe some writing just could be written in fewer words.
  - ukuina 3y ago
    Sir Humphrey Appleby, is that you?
scarface_74 3y ago
In my experience, that’s a mistake. I start off by framing things in the “why” for a high level conceptual understanding and slowly get into the weeds. The executives and the sponsors care about business objectives and they are going to zone out as soon as you start getting into the weeds.

ReactiveJelly 3y ago

Is that why those "explained at five different level" videos on YouTube are popular?

tmoertel 3y ago

Agreed! When writing about challenging technical subjects, we ought to realize that a reader may not fully grasp one explanation, even if it's written clearly. Buttressing it from another angle can reconnect the reader with the intended meaning. For example, pairing formal and informal takes on a point seems to work well.

lelanthran 3y ago

It's a good rule for general information presentation. Tell them what you are going to tell them. Tell them what you want to tell them. Tell them what you just told them.

IshKebab 3y ago
Ugh that "rule" has resulted in more terrible PowerPoint presentations than any other. "Hi, today I'm going to tell you about 1+1... 1+1=2... So what have we talked about? I started by telling you that 1+1=2." So much waffle. The best presentations I've heard don't do that at all. Yes they start by setting the context and goal of the presentation, and they end with a solid conclusion. But they don't have a table of contents at the start that people tediously read and then exactly the same thing again at the end. You might argue that that's not what it's meant to mean, but that is what people hear so it's bad advice. The best advice I've ever heard for presenting was from a stand up comedian who was teaching how to present well. His basic advice was to follow the classic Hero's Tale. Set the stage. Something goes wrong. You triumphantly overcome it. You might think that doesn't apply to technical presentations but you'd be surprised how often you can fit your story into that framework.
- teddyh 3y ago
  Replace boring "context" with "showing why your writings and information will be valuable to the reader" and I think you've got something.
  - IshKebab 3y ago
    Yeah that's good advice.
- scarface_74 3y ago
  > His basic advice was to follow the classic Hero's Tale. Set the stage. Something goes wrong. You triumphantly overcome it. Ie “STAR format”
  - 3y ago

jasonlotito 3y ago

This is a good example of why the list of rules is prefaced with this: > Like almost all rules, there are cases where breaking them is a good idea and seasoned writers may well object with "but" responses for some of these. Thus, consider the rules below as mental rumble strips - you should probably slow down and think if you encounter these cases.

lostlogin 3y ago

Further down (39) there is a suggestion that you start a paragraph with a summary sentence. That might help cover this. ‘Each paragraph should have a lead sentence summarizing its content. If this doesn't work naturally, the paragraph is probably too short.’

scarface_74 3y ago

I agree. I’m often on conference calls with customers where the audience make up have different backgrounds and concerns - finance, security, compliance, operations, developers, etc. My writing is also aimed at different audiences simultaneously. I have to address the same subject different ways.