3 ms·

I've been quite successful in work so far and I've hit most of the traditional milestones like owning a car, buying a house, and what not, but love? Haha, I am

I've been quite successful in work so far and I've hit most of the traditional milestones like owning a car, buying a house, and what not, but love? Haha, I am so comically behind my peers that it has stopped hurting and almost become funny at this point. I've stopped believing it'll happen, hope just leads to suffering. I'm far too broken and messed up as a person.

missedthecue 3y ago
How many hours per day do you spend outside the home?
- BizarreByte 3y ago
  Now that the weather's nice? I try to spend a fair bit of time outside the house.
  - bashmelek 3y ago
    Can I ask what you do? I feel that it is hard to go outside and do many activities on my own without looking out of place, especially for someone like me.
bckr 3y ago
Are you in therapy? How are your other relationships?
- BizarreByte 3y ago
  No, I've tried it and didn't find it helpful. My relationships are good with my family and I have a small handful of friends I get along with well. This is unfortunately more complex than simple, easily fixed social issues and the like.
  - throwing_away 3y ago
    You're not crazy. The older you get, the harder it is to make new romantic relationships. You can sort of make up for this by having extensive experience younger in life, so you can more aptly navigate the fewer opportunities you'll have as you age. If you don't have that skill, good luck. I don't think therapy is capable of really teaching this either. You can read a book about how to play soccer, but you actually need to spend ten thousand hours with the ball. If you start playing soccer at 3yo, you'll be a natural. If you start at 30yo, well, it can be done but it's not going to look very traditional and it's going to be much harder. I think the "pickup artist" movement and the rise of people like Andrew Tate illustrate the problem well. Applying a deliberate strategy to engineer romantic relationships usually ends poorly, but I can see why so many men are attempting it.
matwood 3y ago
I thought a lot like you and ended up meeting my partner when I was 30. I was way behind pretty much everyone I knew. But, now it seems I'm the most happy out of all those people. It took that long for me to figure out who I was, know what I wanted, and find someone who matched up.
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missedthecue 3y ago

How many hours per day do you spend outside the home?

BizarreByte 3y ago
Now that the weather's nice? I try to spend a fair bit of time outside the house.
- bashmelek 3y ago
  Can I ask what you do? I feel that it is hard to go outside and do many activities on my own without looking out of place, especially for someone like me.

bckr 3y ago

Are you in therapy? How are your other relationships?

BizarreByte 3y ago
No, I've tried it and didn't find it helpful. My relationships are good with my family and I have a small handful of friends I get along with well. This is unfortunately more complex than simple, easily fixed social issues and the like.
- throwing_away 3y ago
  You're not crazy. The older you get, the harder it is to make new romantic relationships. You can sort of make up for this by having extensive experience younger in life, so you can more aptly navigate the fewer opportunities you'll have as you age. If you don't have that skill, good luck. I don't think therapy is capable of really teaching this either. You can read a book about how to play soccer, but you actually need to spend ten thousand hours with the ball. If you start playing soccer at 3yo, you'll be a natural. If you start at 30yo, well, it can be done but it's not going to look very traditional and it's going to be much harder. I think the "pickup artist" movement and the rise of people like Andrew Tate illustrate the problem well. Applying a deliberate strategy to engineer romantic relationships usually ends poorly, but I can see why so many men are attempting it.

matwood 3y ago

I thought a lot like you and ended up meeting my partner when I was 30. I was way behind pretty much everyone I knew. But, now it seems I'm the most happy out of all those people. It took that long for me to figure out who I was, know what I wanted, and find someone who matched up.

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