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Dowries are a plague on humanity. They’re rooted in the idea that women are property. I lived in India in the 1970s as a child. At that time the shorthand was
by sonofhans 3y ago
Dowries are a plague on humanity. They’re rooted in the idea that women are property.
I lived in India in the 1970s as a child. At that time the shorthand was “cooking accident” when new brides were killed. As in, “The bride’s father couldn’t pay the dowry. Too bad she had that unfortunate cooking accident.”
The local man who did our laundry had four daughters, and it was considered a curse. He killed himself because he couldn’t pay their dowries, and he knew he’s spend the rest of his life in shame with daughters who were spinsters, or dead.
- boringg 3y agoAwful, all of it.
- spoonjim 3y agoDoes the dowry get paid after the marriage? Why wouldnt' it be paid at the time of the marriage? Or do they keep asking for money?
- boomboomsubban 3y agoHow would you pay it at the time of the marriage? Bring a large sum of money to an event with tons of people?
- dotnet00 3y agoIt can be a mix of all sorts of cases. Sometimes the expectation is for it to be paid by marriage, but, especially for daughters of wealthier families it has also been a common thing to marry and then use the marriage as leverage because divorces are also often blamed on the woman.
- vasco 3y ago> spend the rest of his life in shame with daughters who were spinsters Perspective is a hell of a thing.
- poopbutt7 3y agowhat the fuck
- speeder 3y agoNot sure how dowries are rooted in the idea that women are property... If you were talking about bride price then it would make more sense. In many cultures the men had to pay the father of the bride, thus people in a sense were literally selling their daughters. Still there was a reason for this at the time, in those cultures, women moved to live with the husband family, and at same time their labor was important, it was expected then that the husband's family would pay the bride's family enough money to replace the "lost labor" of having one of their workers moving away. I don't know the logic behind dowries though, much less why it persists now. EDIT: making clearer: Bride Price: Man pays the Woman's father. "buying" her, and giving in payment a value expected to be equal to the labor her father lost with her moving away. Dowry: Woman's father pays the Man. Never saw someone "buying" something by getting paid for it... thus why I think Dowry has nothing to do with women being property. (instead it is more like Women are a burden you want to offload).
- engineer_22 3y agoFrom the article it looks like the dowry is a form of extortion - keep us well paid or something bad will happen to your daughter.
- QuercusMax 3y agoWhat I've heard is that it was to ensure that a household was set up for success. Similar to the idea of a hope chest - a girl would assemble all the necessary linen components a house would need by sewing them herself. Once she had accumulated the requisite skills and equipment to run a household, she'd be eligible for marriage.
- ZephyrBlu 3y agoE: this comment explained it very well: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36299846 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36299846. Could you explain the culture around marriage and dowries a bit more? I'm really confused as to why marriage is culturally important when dowries and that level of abuse exist. Why is marriage common if it's just an excuse to extort the bride's family and it endangers everyone's daughters? From my perspective that's a deal no one would want to take.
- paulddraper 3y ago> They’re rooted in the idea that women are property. You have that backwards!! A bride price is the price paid to the bride's family, as you would pay for property. Whereas dowry is the opposite -- paid by the bride's family to the groom. It's rooted in the idea that the groom is expected to personally contribute financially, but the bride's family makes a contribution for her. The most direct effect of the dowry itself is to increase the "privilege" given to brides in the wedding arrangement. --- A modern analog is the bride's family paying for the wedding.
- hospitalJail 3y ago>A modern analog is that the bride's family paying for the wedding. Does this occur? I havent heard of this. I'm among professionals, and it seems that everyone complains about how expensive the wedding is. I imagine if someone else was paying for it, this wouldn't be a big deal.
- paulddraper 3y agoAbsolutely. https://www.google.com/search?q=who+pays+for+the+wedding https://www.google.com/search?q=who+pays+for+the+wedding However, as marriage age has increased drastically over the last half decade, the financial obligations have shifted somewhat.
- hospitalJail 3y agoWell TIL, thank you.
- russelldjimmy 3y agoThis is still common in Indian society. Even in cities, among well educated circles.
- deleted 3y ago[deleted]
- WeylandYutani 3y agoAsk a conservative Christian if they think women are equal to men and they'll end up with "seperate but equal" bullshit. Baby machines. It reminds me of the Tleilaxu in Dune. It's understandable because humans were dropping like flies 2000 years ago.
- reducesuffering 3y agoDo you think Men and Womens' division tennis is bullshit? Do you know who would be the biggest critics of combining them?